So awesome news for me today during a fucking awful Business law class at assfuck in the morning.
My girlfriend accidentally texted nudes to my 50 year old aunt after I sent her a pic of the beard I grew (we live over 1800 miles apart until we both finish grad school). She called her to warn/apologize and aunt didn"t answer. She didn"t leave aunt a voicemail, however. Now she refuses to leave a voicemail or send her a text apologizing or call back because she"s so mortified. I haven"t heard anything about it from aunt.
I"m of the opinion that it"s her responsibility to get in touch with my aunt through any means possible and to do what she can to do damage control, including leaving an apologetic voice mail if aunt refuses to answer her calls. When I told her that her manning up on that front would be the only way it"d be ok with me, she said "well I guess it won"t be ok then" and hung up.
It"s 12:45 pm here now and after downing a liter of jaeger I have yet to come up with a solution to this horrifying situation. Bad decision, I know, and probably not the best solution to fixing this problem. Even though I feel like it was her job to fix this fuck up, I texted my aunt to tell her not to view the text if she hasn"t already, and that if so and she isn"t answering my gf"s calls purposefully, then I apologize on her behalf and let her know that she"s begging forgiveness... But I"m only doing that to keep my aunt from having a heart attack out of sheer anger and/or surprise/disgust. I didn"t really know what else to do and it was sort of a kneejerk reaction.
I had previously purchased plane tickets to go see my gf over Valentines weekend but I"m so fucking pissed and ashamed of her at the moment that I don"t know if I can even be around her without screaming. Granted, I"m recounting this series of events just hours after they occurred and not in the best decisionmaking state, but you can probably understand my frustration.
My question is: what would you do?
I figure I have a few options, none of them particularly attractive.
a.) Break up with my girlfriend and cut all contact. I love this girl and had made some long term plans for being with her, and she"s treated me great over the past year and a half we"ve been together. She"s understanding, shares most of my political and religious views, and doesn"t try to be too controlling or demanding over me. She"s made lots of compromises to be with me and her family loves me, and up until now my family has loved her but there"s a very strong likelihood that this may change things. But if I"m going to be with her for a substantial portion of time, I can"t have my family divided and resentful over the person I"m with, as I"m very close to my family and they mean the world to me, and certainly have supported me through the toughest times in my life. After losing my dad, and with the very impending and likely death of three of my grandparents, as well as the death of two very close friends and the long term imprisonment of a third, I really value any close relationships I have left while I have them. It puts things in perspective when nearly everything meaningful is taken from you in the space of a year. I don"t want to estrange my family over this, and I have no idea whether she"ll spread this to the rest of them. As of right now, no one else knows... And i have no actual confirmation that she actually received the message or that the picture went through. But the mistake was made all the same, and I can"t afford this type of thing to happen again, especially when my professional career will depend increasingly more on my reputation throughout the community at large.
b.) Let it slide and forgive her, letting my aunt know that although I feel it was a costly mistake to make on her part, that it doesn"t really change my overall feelings for her, even though she"s proven that she can make some crippling fucking errors due to accident and a lapse of judgment.
c.) Not take the plane ride, give it a month or so, and see how everything plays out, not giving my gf or family too much leeway in deciding the outcome of this fucked up situation and how I resolve it. I don"t get that many opportunities to see her, but I"m pretty fucking pissed that she refuses to call my aunt back or leave a voicemail and I feel like it"s a major cop out of a situation she created through not being extra careful in sending nudes, the most revealing and compromising of all information to be leaked to anyone outside the two of us, much less my fucking family.
Fuck, what a nightmare. Anyone been in this position before?
