T3h update timez!
So, been on a bunch more dates, all people I met online. Mostly, I amverysuccessful at getting a girl, any girl, to say yes to a first date. We almost always have a good time, then it just fizzles out and they don"t want to go on a 2nd or I don"t. I know it is mostly because these women are pretty damaged at 24+ and being single, they generally have at least one ridiculously huge screw-up with one guy in the past.
Anyway I was getting to the point where I was pissy with the whole process, and decided to shoot for the moon with an 18 year old with a ridiculously hot body. I had seen her around my work a bunch but I always thought she was too young and WAY too hot. Just didn"t care that day, and asked her out, she looked pleased and said yes. Feelsgoodman.png. Or is it jpg? Anyway. She says let"s do something Thursday, gives me her number.
So Wednesday rolls around, and we"re texting and it turns out she plays guitar and sings. Which I love, so suggest that we totally have to do a duet or write a song, she says GREAT. Which surprised me, even the girls who liked singing were always too timid to do anything musical for whatever reason. Anyway I"m sitting there getting ready to do my errands on my day off, and she texts me "Screw it, let"s do something tonight if you"re free." Naturally my first instinct is to be all "Oh snap yes let me drop what I am doing," but I have spentway too much damn timeon 4chan and decide to be Alpha as hell and pretend I have some errands to run and that it MIGHT work.
Of course I "let it work," so we meet up, she looks amazing, we go out to eat, and the entire time I"m thinking, this chick is 18 and I am 26. When I was in high school she was 9. Like she just got out of high school and has some pretty typical 18-year-old thoughts and ideas. Stuff I"m sure I thought was okay to say when I was 18 was coming out of her mouth.
We end up back at her place, and the date is looking like it is over, but I go hey we were supposed to play guitar together. She goes and gets hers, we play on the porch. She kinda seemed like she wanted the date to end there, and I wasn"t going to push it. She sang a song and she has aphenomenalsinging voice. I mean, just perfect. Sexy as hell too. So I sing her a song myself, and she went from "I had a nice time, the date is over" to "Hey, come in to my place and cuddle the hell out of me." We listen to music, watch Futurama, and her body language is begging me to kiss her, legs all over me. Probably 10 or so good opportunities to kiss her that I let go. Turns out that I can"t act Alpha all the time...
She ended up falling asleep on me and basically rubbing her legs all over me, so I, after like an embarrassing hour of overthinking it, started reciprocating and touching her back which she really seemed to like. Anyway, it got to like 3 in the morning and she said "I"ll call you tomorrow," and I kissed her on the forehead. Which I"m sure people think is gay, but I know she thought it was sweet.
One thing with dating I"ve found...you can always share the common stories of the hellish dating scene you"ve been involved in. I guess her story is that guys always want her for sex, from moment 1, and I treated her like a human being and she loved it. Still blows my mind that some other 18 year old can"t get it together and jump on this, but their loss is my gain.
Still, I am having difficulty reconciling our age difference. She likes these bands that I saw in concert 10 years ago when she was 8. Also I haven"t mentioned that I used to be married and that I have children. Decided today that I"ll share that when I"m good and ready. I mean, they don"t live with me much to my chagrin, but I can at least not tell people I have children as a result. Try to get something good out of the situation. I mean yes, it"s something worth telling, but I"ve realized it"s something bad that happened to me in my past and it"s mine to share when I want. Yeah I was married to a huge whore, and that was a problem.
Anyway she was super cool about pretty much everything. I had mentioned how something really bad had happened to me and I was just trying to come back, and she seemed to understand. She had some teenage cockup in her history that obviously was bothering her a little bit, so I didn"t press it. We had our secrets and it seemed to work out fine.
Driving home, I realized I hadn"t thought about my ex-wife even once the entire time. I mean, there"s a lot I don"t like about my life right now and I feel like I had no power to change a lot of it. And I hate how long it"s taken for even a moment of valuable physical contact to take place. But at the same time, I know that my ex is probably still sleeping around, still miserable, and even though I"m unhappy a lot, on the freeway tonight I had a smile on my face. Sometimes it takes a good thing, which I"m well aware may not last at all due to a lot of factors, to help heal you.
