Girls who broke your heart thread

If she"s leaving him, he probably wasn"t acting very manly. They might have been lovey dovey all the time but that"s not really what a girl wants. They want you to call them on their shit, protect them, give good social status, etc.

Eomer said:

But apparently the wife has said that she"s not in love with him anymore, and that she thinks that maybe she never was to begin with.

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This is chick code for: "I want to fuck other people"

How old are they now Eomer? I almost wonder if she needs to get her party phase on.

32. If by "party" you mean go fuck other dudes, I suppose it"s possible, but she doesn"t strike me as being like that. However if you mean just regular party, they"ve always been fun times, with the wife often being the life of the party. That"s mostly how I know them is from house parties, camping, houseboating etc. They were a super fun couple in that regard. It"s not like they cranked out a kid at 20, they waited until they"d been married a few years and were about 30 before having one.

The Ancient said:

This is chick code for: "I want to fuck other people"

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Yeah, in most cases I"d agree, but again she doesn"t strike me that way at all. I don"t know what the fuck to think. Coincidentally she was out for drinks and eats before the Ray Lamontagne concert the other night (no, I didn"t get laid, I did however enjoy a delicious ribeye and drinks on Xerxes, so it wasn"t a total loss), and looking back I could tell something was up. She"s lost a bunch of weight (was in decent shape to begin with) and wasn"t her usual bubbly self, so it"s obviously wearing on her as well. She"s not just dropping him without a second thought and jumping on the nearest dick. She"s a good person, although some of the other girls in the group think she"s a bit two faced or fake sometimes.

Like I said, it"s just a total shock. I"d love to get inside her head, because I just can"t wrap mine around it.

That"s an easy enough one Eomer.

There"s no such thing as a perfect long-term couple who never argues. It just doesn"t exist. Some couples simply keep their fights hidden (and even lie about/deny it) so as to present a good public image. Children can also add a great deal of stress to a relationship and may have been a contributing factor, especially if the relationship was already growing weak. Either way, it"s a fair bet that there"s more going on behind the scenes than is publicly visible. Cutlery is right (as he often is), there"s really no way of being sure as to a specific reason.

That doesn"t necessarily mean something drastic (cheating, etc) occurred. There"s the old saying, "familiarity breeds contempt." Some folks get so used to each other that they stop noticing the good and begin to dwell on the annoyances. Nobody gets along perfectly, and couples need to remember that. There is no fairy tale perfect marriage. Relationships need work just as surely as houses or cars do. Folks who stop working on theirs eventually find that things fall apart. I"ve seen several perfectly good couples break up/divorce due to this, and the couple you describe may be another. Or it may not; it"s always possible that something drastic did happen and they simply buried it out of public sight.

I"ve only rarely ever known marriage counseling to work, and only in cases where the marriage probably would have survived anyway. The overwhelming majority of the time counseling seems little more than a precursor to separation/divorce.

I suspect the modern-day divorce rate is fueled not merely by the ease of divorce, but also partly by the unrealistic notions of love and marriage both women and men seem to grow up with in modern times.

Danth

Ser Kegkilla said:

sounds like the sort of thing where they (or just she?) had been wondering if the grass is greener for years and finally got to the point in her life where she had to pull the trigger or stick it out til the end.

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And that question will ALWAYS arise when the only person you ever dated as an adult is your husband/wife.

You end up having zero experience about the dating scene and the people in it, so it"s really easy to think that you could find better than your husband/wife if things start to get hard.

So the question WILL arise, but what matters is how you deal with it. Would you leave someone who made you happy for years, even if things are a bit complicated currently, because you think you MAY find someone better?

TheCutlery said:

Without knowing the inner workings of the relationship it"s pretty hard to guess. We don"t even have one of them to talk to in order to try to tease out the truth of the situation. Could be anything -- could be postpartum depression run rampant and never corrected and she just spiraled down and can"t keep it together anymore, could be she cheated on him at some point, could be the dude is a total Aamina, it"s really impossible to guess without knowing a lot more about what went on between the 2 of them when no one else was around.

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Oh yeah, I"m not asking for people to e-detective this shit out and give me an answer about why it happened or anything. I just figured I"d relate the story because it"s very applicable to the thread, even if I don"t have a lot of details. From what I can tell, it"s entirely on the wife"s side and the husband is devastated. I feel terrible for him.

Oh and agreed on counseling. To me if it gets that far, I really don"t see how a third party is going to magically patch shit up.

Hey guys. Been gone a while. Busy with something. Being with an 18-year-old is definitely different. And 18-year-old libido can wear you out. Anyway, busy doing this:

Well done son.

Hit it, 5 times. She is about a million kinds of crazy, though...breaks up with me every other night, then loves me the next day. I don"t mind because the things she says that she thinks are "hurtful" are pretty amateur compared to what my ex-wife did to me. They"re pretty comical sometimes, truth be told, and I have a hard time not laughing on occasion.

Broke up with me again tonight, and I really don"t care. This is at least the 4th time and it has lost its bite. I won"t miss the ridiculous, uneducated, immature and phenomenally ignorant things she, and most 18 year-olds, say. I will miss the cuddles and sexy tiemz.

Aamina is discovering what it is to date a fucking child.

Got enough material for your next book though?

~Malkav

Tell her you love her and you"ll do anything for her if she just lets you sleep at the foot of her bed. It will be so romantic.

Well I do have to say congrats for hitting it! But seriously Aamina, we told you, WE TOLD YOU to hit and quit it. There"s nothing to gain from staying with an 18 year old. Don"t cave in when she says she wants to get back with you. She"ll obviously want to because you"re older and she"ll think that"s special, but really... I mean fuck, you"d have to wait 3 years before you could even go to a bar. Anyhoo, yea, time to exit!

I was gonna say, why is she "breaking up" with you? I don"t mean her reasons. I mean why the fuck were you a "couple" to begin with? I guess she"s young and such, but christ you knew her for how long, a week or two, and you were already a couple?

Maybe I"m way off on the timeline, but that"s an alarm bell right there for me.

While we"re on the subject though, what"s the policy on a 30 year old dating a 20 year old? When you"re friends with her mother? I mean, not good friend, but you know them socially. Is it kosher if the mom at her own wedding says "oh yeah, I don"t care if you make out with her, she could do worse"? And if her new step-dad is actively telling you to hit it because he"s kind of a dirt bag?

But seriously, I"m not that stupid. Damn she"s hot though.

Also camping trip with the chick I was talking about a week or two ago was canceled this weekend for lack of people going. Prolly would have been her, rebound guy, and me. I"d decided I wasn"t going anyway, and have written her off. A couple friends at the above mentioned wedding really ripped in to her when I mentioned I was considering it, and I trust their opinions.

On the flip side, the couple friends are a married lesbian couple who while extremely drunk mentioned they may want my sperm for a baby. Heh, that"s an interesting one to ponder.

If anything maybe she was trying to validate to herself that if she was "dating" him she was not a slut and if she is just "fucking some old guy" she is a slut in her own mind.

I dunno, bitches be crazy, esp under 25