God damn my head... So anyways. Her mom introduced us because I use to walk by her house everyday for two years on my way to work. I"d always stop to pet her dog and make a little small talk, and so one day she just decided I was the nicest guy she knew around her daughters age and got us to start seeing each other. The girl is essentially an ex mormon, turned bad girl, turned normal person. We hooked up for about 4 months as fuck buddies and then she moved back to South Carolina and we broke it off.
The whole time she was in South Carolina we talked constantly. It turns out she was pregnant when she left so we had to deal with that. It ultimately went down that she had a tubular pregnancy and it had to be terminated. We were both crushed and wound up falling in love with each other long distance because of the support that we kept up for one another. When she moved back to Missouri, 9 months later, even though she was together with an ex of hers that still lived back south, we started hooking up again and she wound up leaving him. We"ve had a rough relationship since then. We"ve gone through some freak out stages about not being sure if we were ready to be so serious, because our relationship was bee lining for marriage and kids. Long story short several months back, her job selected her to go to India for business management training within her company.
She has been there since June of "11. We broke up before she left because she was going to be gone for a year to do this and I knew it would be a bad idea. We had some other bullshit going on as well about her family. After an E5 tornado wiped out a third of my town and left her family homeless, she moved in with me, and I let her brothers stay with me till they could get on their feet. They were free loading bums and we fought constantly.
We kept in touch from the moment she left and it wasn"t more than a month or 2 after that she decided that when she came back she wanted to move in with me permanently and that we shouldn"t see other people. Fastforward to December, the day after Christmas she gets completely hammered and has a one nighter with another guy there in the business management course from Texas. She later confides in a best friend/ex of her what she did and that she didn"t know how to tell me and didn"t want to ruin the relationship and our future. The guy felt bad enough he messaged me and gave me the details. Figuring he may be trying to undermine our relationship I played it cool for a few days until I could adequately approach everything. She fessed up and we are taking some time to think about it all and decide what we are going to do.
For what it"s worth, I"m done with it. There is a part of me that hopes I will see her down the road and maybe we can start over, but after all the thinking I did last night and today, I know that I"m just not going to do it. It sucks because there is a part of me that has already forgiven her, I"ve been in the same boat since she left, and almost did the exact same thing a couple of times. There is a huge part of my heart that says that I don"t care what happened. I love this girl more than anything else in my life. She is more important to me than my family, friends, or my job. We really have/had something amazing. I actually will be really interested to see what kind of responses I get from this.
I can honestly say that even just the quasi board loyalty support that I"ve gotten from what little I let out last night was helpful. I"m not worried about finding someone else, I know I"m a great guy. And I"m not a fatty anymore either, well at least not as big a fatty, dropped down to a steady 250lbs actually using a lot of advice and info on these boards.
