Girls who broke your heart thread

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Erinye_foh

shitlord
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While this threads title would"ve had me thinking it"d be some mopey pile of sob stories, it"s actually been a bit of a suprise. My ex and I just split up, after trying to make it work several times. Sucks we work together, because there"s no distance between us and it"s harder to get over each other as quick. Also sucks that shes smoking hot, and unfortunately I have no pictures to upload (fail I know). It"s just nice to get reminded there are countless other hotties (nice one Empire, my ex looked pretty similar) to keep me in perspective that just cuz shes hot, it"s not worth going back to that mindfuck of a relationship. I really feel now that when someone says "no matter how beautiful a woman is, there"s always some guy out there who can"t stand her bullshit", or whatever the saying is, because FUCK, I don"t operate on that level of insane.

Kudos to all the good stories I"m hearing on this tho.
 
V

Vatoreus Malfost_sl

shitlord
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Holy shit. The line fucking works, are you kidding me...?

This is a picture of my result of a test over 2 hours while I"m getting wasted on Sangria with an e-buddy of mine that I came down to meet and chill with for the weekend, completely non-homo, trust me...;D

Holy shit is all I have to say and I fucking LOVE you Aych. Have my e-babies.


IBT Sharp Knees.
 
W

whatsamattau_foh

shitlord
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GaliemVaelant said:
I got a girlfriend...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
She"s a star...
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
orbited by a penis, complete with two moons.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
People at the mall give her funny looks.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
We"re thinking of launching a few million satellites.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
The Chinese want to shoot them down.

Real spoiler:
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Will update the thread in a few months.
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Spoiler Alert, click show to read:lol
 
Aychamo BanBan

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>
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Damn! Hook it up, AND take photos!

Hey guys, I need a quick, and NICE text message that I can send a girl to tell her that although she"s great, there is no future with us (shit, maybe that phrase itself would work ..) I"m going for the impossible, to "dump" her and get her friend.
 
L

Lusiphur_foh

shitlord
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aychamo_aycono said:
Damn! Hook it up, AND take photos!

Hey guys, I need a quick, and NICE text message that I can send a girl to tell her that although she"s great, there is no future with us (shit, maybe that phrase itself would work ..) I"m going for the impossible, to "dump" her and get her friend.
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You could try honesty. Seriously. She will tell her friend "Fucker dumped me because he wants you". If friend isn"t flattered by that then you weren"t getting there anyways.

Just be gentle and apologetic about it. Try calling and not texting as well.
 
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Marthisdil_foh

shitlord
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Vatoreus said:
Holy shit. The line fucking works, are you kidding me...?

This is a picture of my result of a test over 2 hours while I"m getting wasted on Sangria with an e-buddy of mine that I came down to meet and chill with for the weekend, completely non-homo, trust me...;D

Holy shit is all I have to say and I fucking LOVE you Aych. Have my e-babies.


IBT Sharp Knees.
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Wow - you blocked out the fat, ugly chick...and left us with the anorexic, Ethiopian, ugly, chick instead...

thanks...
 
tyen

tyen

EQ in a browser wait time: ____
<Banned>
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Marthisdil said:
Wow - you blocked out the fat, ugly chick...and left us with the anorexic, Ethiopian, ugly, chick instead...

thanks...
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^ this, she looks 17.
 
C

Clemsongoat_foh

shitlord
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Need to put the fat chick back in. From context clues(?) she doesn"t look very fat.

Then again you may be one of those people that think 10 lbs overweight is fat.

Gimme a bitch with a little bit of meat on her ffs.
 
Y

Yutnopash_sl

shitlord
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Clemsongoat said:
Need to put the fat chick back in. From context clues(?) she doesn"t look very fat.

Then again you may be one of those people that think 10 lbs overweight is fat.

Gimme a bitch with a little bit of meat on her ffs.
Click to expand...
 
tyen

tyen

EQ in a browser wait time: ____
<Banned>
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Clemsongoat said:
Need to put the fat chick back in. From context clues(?) she doesn"t look very fat.

Then again you may be one of those people that think 10 lbs overweight is fat.

Gimme a bitch with a little bit of meat on her ffs.
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I think the chick on the right needs that white bubble removed.
 
V

Vatoreus Malfost_sl

shitlord
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The chick on the right wasn"t really fat fat, my friend was the one who put the pic up. Although, she"s still too thick for me and I"m too lazy to get the pic again, so suck it up princesses.

Here"s result number 2 from today. I need to get better damn pictures in my profiles though, all my old ones generally had my ex in em and I tossed em. Oh well.
 
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Vatoreus Malfost_sl

shitlord
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Great success with the girl above!

me said:
After a rigorously brief overview of your profile I wanted to let you know I have already married and divorced you in my mind.

Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories... you will always have a special place in my heart.

Your ex-hubby,

jake

PS I am going to need half your money according to our prenup
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her said:
well, im sorry to hear about our recent divorce..but the prenup is null and void... when i signed it, i was under the legal age... wasnt the lack of money the cause of our divorce anyway?

Your pregnant ex-wife,
[her]

ps where is my child support?
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me said:
You"re pregnant?! That"s great news! Maybe we jumped the gun here... Although, I am a little upset to find you fibbed to me about your age at the time, but I can forgive that little transgression.

About our financial situation, I may have fallen into some money that could solve everything.

Your hopeful ex-husband,

Jake

P.S. You"re hilarious
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her said:
Well... I really hope it was a great amount of money, seeing as we are going to have three college tuitions to pay for. YES, Dr. says triplets are on the way. And after all of that you really have to spoil me to make up for leaving me. Maybe then I can forgive you.

You know I truely miss all those imaginary memories from our whirl-wind marriage.

Your barely legal ex-wife,
[her]

ps. you threw me for a loop, Thanks
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me said:
Triplets eh? Worry not, those tuitions will pay for themselves after we begin tourng the country in our van performing live folk music and solving mysteries. Also, it"s my biggest love to spoil the girl of my dreams! So start forgivin!

Your utterly delighted soon to be re-husband,

Jake

P.S. My pleasure! You seem pretty awesome to talk to, is this true? Maybe we should have a real convo soon. Let me know.
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her said:
Yep, so that means we gotta make more money to be able to afford all the scooby snacks for Scooby. We have to have Scoobys nose to solve all the mysteries, and you know he wont do anything with out his snacks. Well, I hope you are a good singer cause the only time I sound good is when I am in the car or in the shower ALONE.

Your swollen and miserable thinking about maybe re-wife,
[her]

ps. Thanks you are too, so you yahoo!!
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me said:
Hahahaha! You are seriously a ton of fun lol. Well, I have yahoo on my phone, but the area I"m stuck in at the moment is kind of suck on the whole internet thing. Up visiting grandparents for Christmas, but back down to Texas after.

My brother lives in ***** and when we get back, I"m gonna try and go bother him some, so maybe we could hang out some time. Also, I lived in ***** when I was in the 8th grade and went to Cope.

My yahoo is vatoreus if you want to talk some time, or you can even hit me up on my cell at *********. Up to you!

Your interested in talking ex-hubby,

Jake

P.S. I"d rub aloe on that poor swollen tummy. lol
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her said:
Hahaha, well thanks.. lol... so are you.. Ohh, gottcha. Thats kinda the same for where i live. I have dial up, and i have absolutely no signal out here on my phone. Thats awesome, where do you grandparents live? if you dont mind me askin. Dang, well im not originlly from ****. I used to live in *****. Is your brother older or younger than you? mine is *****. just look for that. haha. i might do that.. well for now, i need to get off here. i have a test this afternoon at 5 and i havnt even started studyin. oh boy.. lol...but ill txt your or something on my way to school. im like 40 miles from school, so ill have plenty of time to txt you.

Your cant wait to txt you ex- wife,
[her]
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