Girls who broke your heart thread

moontayle

moontayle

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1. Don"t be afraid to dry hump to completion on your end. Eomer is right, you"re pretty much going back to high school level of sex progression.

2. Learn to love yourself.

3. I can"t really offer any advice in this area. My wife and I took it slow but our situation was unique in that we lived 1800 miles from each other so we couldn"t rush it even if we wanted to. I will say that we didn"t have sex until... the 3rd trip to see her, which was a good 9 months after we got together. And before anyone says anything, we knew each other in high school, dated briefly there (no sex) and remained friends for 2 years in between our second go around.

4. You become friends/companions. My wife and I absolutely love to have sex, can"t get enough of each other, and it frustrates us to no end that we have to forgo sex more often than we"d like (a sad reality when you have kids). But it doesn"t define the relationship so when we can"t have sex, it"s not all that bad. In fact, it probably makes it better since we don"t know when we can do it again so we take our time and make sure it"s good.
 
Heylel

Heylel

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I don"t think it"s really worth thinking about in terms of when you start having sex. Third date seems to be about the average if its two people who meet with the intention of dating in the first place (in other words, people actively looking for a long term relationship and don"t just fall in with someone they met by accident). Taking it slow, to me, would mean about a month. I feel like anything longer than that without at least determining sexual compatibility is probably destined to end up in a friendship.

Then again, really great relationships can come out of random hookups too. My last girlfriend and I got drunk and fucked the night we met. She never expected me to call, but I did, and it turned out to last a year and a half. Things happen, and what matters more to long term health is how well you can stand each other when youaren"tfucking, not how long you wait.
 
K

K`Lag_foh

shitlord
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Incognitogamer said:
Slight derail: Have you guys had any chicks open you? I have had a few since signing up at POF and it"s weird. They almost always say just something simple like "hi, you seem cool, what"s up?" It"s kinda bullshit if you ask me, because why the fuck do women have this seemingly double standard for us to have to come up with witty replies/comments to get them interested but they don"t put anywhere near the effort we do into openers and even the whole dating game in general... Seriously I see at least 10 new profiles a day from chicks that say "don"t just say "hey, what"s up" because I won"t reply."
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So true man! I"m about a week into my PoF experiment and of the three girls that opened up on me only one of them wrote more than 1 sentence! I guess it"s cos we are so gullible, all we need to see is some bewbs and we are sucked in!

I need to sit down and think of something witty I could spam around more, studying profiles and customizing short witty openers takes too fekking long!
 
T

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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K`Lag said:
So true man! I"m about a week into my PoF experiment and of the three girls that opened up on me only one of them wrote more than 1 sentence!

I need to sit down and think of something witty I could spam around more, studying profiles and customizing short witty openers takes too fekking long! :p
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Because women get flooded with emails where men typically will get 2-3 a week if they"re really lucky? Hell even not-so-attractive girls on POF showed me screen shots of their inbox and they"re jammed. As a guy it is your job to impress the female. If she isn"t impressed why even bother replying? Would you actually hit on a girl in the wild by just coming up and saying "Sup, u r hawt" and expect favorable results?

On an aside its hilarious to befriend girls on POF you have no intention on ever meeting just for hilarious online dating stories. I swear to god some of the emails they get are awesome. This one guy told this girl in his opener about how he is "larger than average" but not in terms of "deapth" but in terms of "girth." I almost spit out my water it was epically hilarious.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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Hey man, Jimmy Pop said it best: this dick don"t hit the bottom, but it"ll blow the sides out.
 
G

GrobbeeTrull2.0_foh

shitlord
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aychamo_aycono said:
Ok, my turn to ask a Q. I"m mainly asking this to the slightly older crowd (25+ or so). How many of you have "taken it slow" with a girl and how did you deal with it?

I ask, because we"ve both agreed to take things slowly, although I don"t know if we have the same definition of slow (to me, waiting 3-4 months before sex would be slow.) I think it"s a good idea because this girl is a potential keeper, and I don"t want to fuck things up with her by having sex with her too soon, you know, before all the feelings are really there. These are my concerns:

1. We spend the night together occasionally, and fool around a bit at night (making out, boobs, dry humping.) Those nights it was difficult going to sleep with a rock hard dick. Let"s say in another month we"re doing basically the same thing. How rude/bad is it to ask or say something along the lines of suggesting that I need her to help me get off, either handjob or blowjob or whatever?

2. For those that have done it, how did you deal with being super horny? I"ve already deleted all my little whores phone numbers out of my phone because I don"t want to be tempted to cheat because I really like this girl, but I"ve never waited more than a week to have sex with a girl I was dating, and since I"ve lost my virginity I haven"t waited more than 2-3 weeks between having sex with a girl.

3. For those who "took it slow," how long did you wait to have sex? To me 3-4 months seems like a pretty long time.

4. Any advantages/disadvantages to "taking it slow"?

Thank you for any input.
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I"m 25, so take that for what it"s worth. I"m also married after an 18-23 stretch of being a womanizer.

0) Stop making it all about fulfilling your sexual urges and a lot of these problems will go away. Also, stop looking at relationships like math problems with formulas for success. Most good relationships have people stumbling through them the entire way. Let go of the reigns a little bit. I know you have issues with control, but once you deal with those you"ll be better suited to have real relationships. It seems that your posts, and all of your problems, stem from the fact that unless your penis is insidesomething, you"re failing. Part of that is probably the people you associate with (both here and real life), part of that is just social conditioning.

1) It"s not rude or bad at all to bring it up at a later point. What is rude or bad is trying to manipulate her if she answers in the negative. If you both agreed to play by these rules, then you have to play by the rules. If you don"t want to, then why are you in it? Say something like "I know we agreed to take it slow, but this is new territory for me. I really like you, and I"m willing to make this work, but do you think we can take baby steps in that direction?" Not verbatim, but you can if you want. Mutual masturbation or assisted masturbation can actually be pretty erotic and a good way to string-out the no-sex time.

2) Self-control really. If you masturbate too much you won"t be ready when she wants it, so be careful. You just have to channel your energy into other useful things. Ever try meditation?

3) Taking it slow for me was the 3rd date (just like the rule book says!), but that was after a month and a half or so of "dating" and 3 months of knowing/flirting.

4) It gives you time to find out if you really like her as a person, or just her pussy. It also builds trust, so that when the day comes down the road when one of you wont be able to perform, you won"t feel like you immediately have to bail on the relationship. Theoretically, it"ll make you more mature and aware of the other qualities she possesses that manifest themselves outside of the bedroom.
 
K

K`Lag_foh

shitlord
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Tenks said:
Because women get flooded with emails where men typically will get 2-3 a week if they"re really lucky? Hell even not-so-attractive girls on POF showed me screen shots of their inbox and they"re jammed. As a guy it is your job to impress the female. If she isn"t impressed why even bother replying? Would you actually hit on a girl in the wild by just coming up and saying "Sup, u r hawt" and expect favorable results?
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Just came accross a profile of a girl I would certainly class as fuckable and she had the following in it "I would like to meet a down to earth fun loving guy with a hard exterior and soft interior". I just couldn"t resist and sent her a message titled "Are you a nutcracker?" and the words "Would you like having a go at my shell?". Wonder how it will pan out, probably ignored and deleted, but who knows haha.
 
K

K`Lag_foh

shitlord
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The Ancient said:
What type of nut has a hard outside soft inside? The ones I eat are hard/hard and the ones I have are velvety soft/soft.
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A walnut? I"d descibe nuts are very hard/medium hard to be honest. But it worked... positive reply within 5 mins of sending it
 
brekk

brekk

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Eomer said:
And in the process of writing those notes out and stuff I want to talk with her about (as well as rereading most of the responses), I am kind of seeing the light or at least looking at things a bit more objectively. I"m now more than a little concerned that maybe she"s a bit (or a lot) too immature and/or self focused for things to be viable. But I"m not gonna jump ship any time soon, unless this shit continues on a consistent basis. It"s exhausting. I barely slept last night because shit wouldn"t stop rolling around in my head.
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Honestly making a list like that of pro"s and con"s is the best you can do. You need to take a step back and look at the big picture of where you"re at with this girl.

I"ve just dealt with getting out of a semi similar situation.

Had been regularly hanging out with a girl every friday/saturday night from late October until early December. (I go out street racing at night and she tags along) She"s the cousin of some of my street racing friends. First month or so was great. She was fun to talk to on AIM or txt. She"s a gamer (GoW2 mostly) and she"s into cars. On top of nights at the races spend some nights at her place or mine watching movies and making out.

Then out of nowhere she goes nuts. Or to be more to the point she starts PMS"ing. And she"s one of the girl"s that goes beyond just being miserable. She uses PMS as her justification to be a total bitch to everyone around her for a week. I did the same thing I normally do when girls get that way, I back way the fuck off as I have no patience for immaturity and bitchiness.

At this point she keeps trying to bait me into arguments with her and much to her dismay I just back off and disconnect. I"ve already given up on anything serious ever being there I only still have anything to do with her in hopes of hitting it at least once to make up for all the effort I put in.


PS: For the love of god avoid being the first relationship after they get out of their first long serious relationship. The girl above and the one I dated before her both were getting out of 2+ year relationships where their ex took their virginity. It"s the double whammy of them being emotionally barricaded from their first serious breakup combined with retarded nostalgia of their ex comparable to people"s memories of EQ.

First girl ended up going back to her ex and secretly keeping me on the side for about a month (I was oblvious that she was back with him) And the girl mentioned above just would not emotionally open up.

And fuck off on women remaining friends with ex"s. Second girl"s ex is still one of her good friends. He buys her expensive shit for her birthday/christmas they still go out to movies together. I called her out on it and she told me straight up hes still a good friend and I don"t like it tough shit. I guarantee that wouldn"t work if I was constantly hanging out with one of my ex"s she"d flip out and say I was cheating. But NO I can"t even show displeasure in her hanging out with hers. Whatever fuck em.

Been talking to the one chick on OKcupid a lot (yes, cyber girl, FUCK OFF) probably gonna meet up for coffee some night this week.

What are people"s opinions on good first dates? I"m personally not a huge fan of movies for the aformentioned lack of talking. MY first date of choice is my local mall. It"s rather large so a whole loop walking around it with a little actual shopping will take 2-3 hours. Get to see what kind of store"s theyre interested in many restaurants for different food options, and enough is going on around you that there"s always something to use as a topic of conversation. (like the creepy Indian salesman at a sunglass kiosk) Obviously this is probably not the best option with older women but for early 20"s girls its great.
 
Ronaan

Ronaan

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Eomer said:
... I kind of collected my thoughts on a notepad. Next time we talk, and I"m going to let her make the call, I"m going to use that to kind of see what"s up I guess. I"m not going to mention I"ve got a fucking crib sheet, but as I said previously I find I can better organize my thoughts if I write it out.
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Burn that after you hang up. You KNOW she"ll find it at some point and you WILL get double-fucked over having had notes, and I don"t mean that as in "threesome with her and her twin sister".

On a sidenote, her parents picked out a guy at church for her to marry? Really? Words can"t describe how retarded they must be.

On a further sidenote, her hanging out with retarded kids (I guess that"s what "special needs" means) is cool. Join her some day maybe. Shows her you care about what she does, and you should have a good time too.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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To me shopping is a couple dates in to a relationship. First date should be something fairly brief, like you said 2-3 hours, but with activity so that it keeps things moving along. Maybe hitting up a driving range or mini golf or bowling or billiards, or god forbid, the cliched coffee/drink.

On a sidenote, her parents picked out a guy at church for her to marry? Really? Words can"t describe how retarded they must be.
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Well little detail was given, she just mentioned offhand when talking about her parents asking who she was seeing, that they"d been pressuring her to date someone from the church.

On a further sidenote, her hanging out with retarded kids (I guess that"s what "special needs" means) is cool. Join her some day maybe. Shows her you care about what she does, and you should have a good time too.
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Maybe if things keep going for awhile, but certainly not something I want to do right away. First of all I think it might just make her think I"m doing it for the sole purpose of proving myself to her (and she"d be right, at this point). And second, I"m incredibly uncomfortable around mentally challenged people, hell physically challenged ones too. I just can"t handle it for some reason. Call me weird or callous, but that"s the way it is.
 
Aychamo BanBan

Aychamo BanBan

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brekk said:
What are people"s opinions on good first dates? I"m personally not a huge fan of movies for the aformentioned lack of talking. MY first date of choice is my local mall. It"s rather large so a whole loop walking around it with a little actual shopping will take 2-3 hours. Get to see what kind of store"s theyre interested in many restaurants for different food options, and enough is going on around you that there"s always something to use as a topic of conversation. (like the creepy Indian salesman at a sunglass kiosk) Obviously this is probably not the best option with older women but for early 20"s girls its great.
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See if there"s a pistol shooting range in your area where yall can go shoot guns. Invite her over and cook for her. Or you guys could go to a cyber cafe and have cybersex again kidding
 
Ronaan

Ronaan

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Eomer said:
Maybe if things keep going for awhile, but certainly not something I want to do right away. First of all I think it might just make her think I"m doing it for the sole purpose of proving myself to her (and she"d be right, at this point).
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Point taken. You"re probably right about it then.

Still don"t forget to burn your notes.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Update on my relationship status for those intrested.

Shits good, it"s real good.

We"ve been seeing one another for a few weeks, her kid is pretty awesome and loves me that was pretty insta win as far as brownie points. (the kid turns 1 at the end of this month.)

We"ve done quite a bit, nothing like super original exciting, but hung out, went shopping, dinner, movies, out for drinks along with taking her son to the mall of america to ride some rides in the theme park and the other day I had them both over and made them both lunch/dinner.

I was in the kitchen and she came up behind me and put her arms around me, told me she didn"t mean to freak me out, but it was a major turn on to have all three of us together and me cooking for them, was very family"ish. Honestly it didn"t freak me out in the least but then I"ve played that role for my own family before the divorce last year so I was flattered by it honestly because I know how hard it is to let someone into your life on that level in her and my situations.

Anyways, it was sweet of her and after we ate her son fell asleep so I put em on the guest room bed and went back to my bedroom where we were all sittin before and watching television.

So we chill in the bedroom, making out and shit when she looks at the time and notices the time (she was meeting her mother that evening so she had to take off at a certain time) so we both get up and start picking up toys and shit when she bends over right in front of me to reach across the bed to get something, rubbing her ass into my crotch.

mind you "m already standing at attention from messing around in the bed so I tell her, "That"s mean, you"re leaving"

She then responds, "You think that"s mean...."

Drops her pants and does it again.

Yea.....that was a good way to end the day.

Tomorrow is round 2, it can"t be here soon enough.
 
brekk

brekk

Dancing Dino Superstar
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Eomer said:
To me shopping is a couple dates in to a relationship. First date should be something fairly brief, like you said 2-3 hours, but with activity so that it keeps things moving along. Maybe hitting up a driving range or mini golf or bowling or billiards, or god forbid, the cliched coffee/drink.
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Well that"s the whole reason I like a mall. It"s all walking constantly on the move so you have moments when you"re in a store but walk down different aisle"s, you"re not forced to be right on top of each other the whole time, have the option for more space. You have the option to be spontaneous with coffee/ice cream/dinner/etc. if you choose or keep it strictly to a walk around.
 
T

Turkish_foh

shitlord
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aychamo_aycono said:
Aye, I"m trying to be a good guy this time around. I really like her and if something ends up happening long time I don"t want to have the guilty conscious and to know that I was a good guy to at least one girl!
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Are you saying that having sex with her will make you a bad guy? Heaven forbid you throw some dick in her and you both enjoy it! I find it odd that you both seemingly really like each other and think that having sex shows exactly the opposite.

Maybe you already have the guilty conscious? Maybe you feel guilty about banging girls you had no real feelings for and you don"t want this to be another. But guess what? Having sex with said girls wasn"t the cause for those relationships either failing or never developing in the first place. It was because it just wasn"t there to begin with. Maybe it was you, maybe it was them, but it wasn"t sex.

If you really like a girl, she really likes you and you have sex guess what... you"re still going to really like each other afterward. Sex isn"t sabotage if you both want the relationship.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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Still don"t forget to burn your notes.
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heh, I have a shredder at home.

And seriously, thanks again for the advice gents. You"re all invited to my bachelor party when I marry her

Brekk said:
Well that"s the whole reason I like a mall. It"s all walking constantly on the move so you have moments when you"re in a store but walk down different aisle"s, you"re not forced to be right on top of each other the whole time, have the option for more space. You have the option to be spontaneous with coffee/ice cream/dinner/etc. if you choose or keep it strictly to a walk around.
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yeah I guess it"s not half bad, just seems weird for a first date: "Hey, want to go hang out at the mall?" I dunno, not dissing!
 
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