Girls who broke your heart thread

seriously grobbee, can you stopgayingup this thread? pretty please?

Grobbee said:

It almost was nice again when Eomer and Aychamo began their metamorphosis into mature men capable of personal interaction at an honest and intimate level

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Hey fuck you man, I was always a mature man capable of honesty! Aychamo was the whore. I"ve slept with maybe 12 women in my life. I"m just emotionally distant and guarded!

/livejournal

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Aychamo said:

EOMER: What"s your latest stuff man?

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Well when shit went sour with Chuck, I wasn"t sure if we were done or not. She did the usual girly bullshit. Said that things weren"t working, but then that she did still like me and wouldn"t be straddling me in bed if she didn"t, blah blah blah. I"ve posted this all before, but will refresh again. So after that, I called her later that week and she said she was feeling really down about losing her job (which I hadn"t known up to that point, and along with the hockey game crack beer and new BC cycle seemed to explain the craziness) and didn"t really feel like leaving the house. I told her to let me know if there was anything I could do, otherwise we"d talk the following week. That conversation, in my mind anyway, gave me some hope that maybe things weren"t totally done yet.

But I hedged my bets and started spamming the divorce thing on PoF, and got a few responses. I"ll come back to that.

So I called Chuck the following week (so about 12 days after I had last seen her), and chatted for 5-10 min with her. The conversation seemed fine, and she was on her way to a friend"s place and I was leaving the next day for the weekend, so I said something along the lines of "well I know you"re busy most days of the week, but give me a call if you want to hang out" and she said cool. The conversation seemed fine, but I could tell that she probably wouldn"t be calling. So I waited until last Sunday, and because I just can"t help myself despite all of your advice, sent her this on Facebook:

Me said:

I will reluctantly take the hint...as I guess I don"t have much choice otherwise! I figured I"d give it one last shot calling you last week, if only because the last time we"d hung out you"d claimed you still wanted to see me. Color me confused I guess.

It"s unfortunate that things didn"t work out, I genuinely enjoyed your company and hope you did mine.

I"d ask you to do me a favor. This probably sounds weird, but I"d appreciate it if you"d remove me from your friend list on Facebook. Not cause I"m angry or offended or anything, mainly just to remove the temptation to creep on you .

I hope you find whatever it is you"re looking for, and that everything works out for your Australian adventure. Should we cross paths don"t be a stranger.

Cya around, best of luck to you.

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I dunno, I"m the kind of guy that needs closure. I can"t just stop seeing one and never hear from them again, especially not if I had fairly strong feelings for them. I realize that the above message did nothing for me, but it made me feel better anyway. She removed me within 30 minutes from Facebook, but didn"t respond for a couple days:

Her said:

Yeah... I"m sorry.

You are a wicked guy, we had fun, but I don"t think we would have worked as a couple. And I wasn"t lying when i said i still wanted to see you. But I just wanted to make sure it didn"t seem like a date, that"s really not fair to you. I know i really should have been more clear, I"m terrible at that sort of thing. So i kind of avoid it... again sorry

Best of luck right back at you, I hope your new ride is treating you well. And I"m sure we will run into each other. I work downtown now remember.

Later,

Chuck

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So as I said, usual girl bullshit. She said she wasn"t "lying", and maybe she wasn"t at the time and doesn"t remember the exact conversation, but she was quite clear that she supposedly did want to see me again on a dating/romantic basis. But for whatever reason has convinced herself that she didn"t say it. Chicks .

I"m still conflicted. Half of me all along was like "dude she is way younger, she lives at home, she"s going travelling for at least several months within the next year, she"s very religious and so is her family and they"re putting big pressure on her to get married and crank out babies, you don"t have a lot in common" and so on. And that rational side of me thinks that it"s best things ended when they did and that I didn"t have much of a chance to get attached. And considering how quickly I did develop feelings for her, it IS a good thing. See, I don"t fall for girls very often. Maybe 2 or 3 in my life that I"ve truly had deep feelings for past the first month or two. I"m glad I didn"t make it very far into anything with her, because things wouldn"t have worked out and I"d just be in even deeper.

But the other half of me is like "but she"s so awesome and fun to hang out with and blah blah blah." I"m hoping this passes pretty quickly, but I"m having a hard time getting her out of my head.

So yeah, getting back to the PoF responses, I ended up chatting with a couple girls over MSN, Facebook, and then texts. One of them, the Persian girl I posted pics of, was really forward almost immediately about creeping on Facebook (her words!), and then gave me her cell number unasked so I could drunken text her over the weekend while I was skiing (I didn"t mention the strippers on the bus). The other girl I"ve still been chatting online with a bit, and once or twice on the phone, but we haven"t been able to work out meeting up, and it"s looking like maybe she"s not wanting to now.

So yeah, the Persian girl is 30 (2.5 years older), a finance manager at a car dealership, loves cars (but drives a TSX, ugh), very smart, has her shit together, and very attractive. She"s also a bit of a high maintenance princess, and can be a bit of a bitch. That"s not really a fair term, she"s just very assertive. And I think that"s a good thing, because I"ve got a pretty strong personality and girls that are pushovers just really don"t do it for me, because I end up dominating them.

First time we met she came to a bar I was at with a couple buddies, along with her friend. Her friend left quite quickly once she had scoped us out, and she hung out with the 3 of us playing pool and buck hunter. She also insisted, after finding out my buddy had weed, that we go out to the parking lot and have a couple bowls. She"s also a part time smoker like me (only when drinking). Second time I was feeling lazy and just texted her that she could drop by and watch the hockey game at my place if she wanted, and she came by. As it turned out, a friend of hers lived in the building, and she came up to my suite and we hung out, smoked a few bowls and played Rock Band. Third time she was out for a friend"s birthday, so me and another guy came by and drank with them, and she came back to my place that night and after initially doing the "no I"m not like that" act for a couple hours in bed chatting, we hooked up. Last night was our first "real" date when it was just the two of us. We went to a pretty nice restaurant across the street from my place for dinner, and then to watch the Oilers beat up on the Canadiens. She came up to my place after, but not much happened as she started to feel sick either from too much hockey game crack beer, or the fish she ate.

I think she"s pretty awesome so far and enjoy hanging out with her. But already I"m concerned that I"m probably going to do my usual thing and not develop any strong feelings for her, whether because that"s just how things seem to go with 95% of the girls I meet, or because I"m still a bit hung up on Chuck.

So that"s about where I stand right now!

I suggest full steam ahead with the Persian woman. She sounds like someone that matches you in both intelligence, work ethic and can challenge you as far as the "war of the wills" goes. You don"t seem like the kind of guy who wants an obedient woman, so this could end well.

As far as Chuck goes, it"s natural to creep a bit on Facebook and whatnot. Hell, I broke down last night when I realized my (ex) wife was going out and having fun with her girlfriends (something I always urged her to do but she never felt the need to while we were together), and I got super jealous and emotional and all of that. You just have to remember that things ended for a reason--it takes two to make it work and one of you just didn"t want to make it work, whether consciously or subconsciously (probably on Chuck"s part). Don"t get discouraged, just take the lessons you learned from your experience with her and apply it to Persia, where applicable.

The fact that you two hooked up is different now, especially since she"s older and seems to be a type-A woman. No time for games, see if it works and go from there. Just be prepared to deal with her princess bullshit. There"s a fine line between doting on her and being an aloof asshole. You"ll need a bit of both to survive it. She will throw some really insignificant stuff at you (as opposed to Chuck, who probably downplayed the really significant stuff) so treat her as if she"s 25% man instead.

Tenks said:

Again I"m not afraid of homosexuals just creeped out by dudes willing to suck dick. Fear has nothing to do with my non-compliance of sucking another man"s dick.

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There"s a line between not being turned on by something and possibly finding it gross, and constantly railing against people who do enjoy it and judging them for that.

I find the idea of having sex with fat chicks really gross. As gross as I find the idea of having sex with another man. More so in some cases. Doesn"t mean I hold anything against a dude with a fat GF. What they do in the privacy of their own home? Not my concern in the slightest, if it makes them happy then go for it.

It"s when you go beyond just not liking something, and start exerting so much effort to point out just how much you dislike it and how inferior people who do like it are and how disgusting it is (as certain individuals in this thread have), that prejudice born of either insecurity and fear, or a negative upbringing or belief system, come through.

What a fucking terrible derail. You guys suck.

aychamo_aycono said:

That sucks huh? The constant text checking, or answering calls, can be rather annoying. Especially if they talk for like 10 minutes.

The way I"ve justified it is that hey, they are spending the whole evening with me. This is a person who has a life outside of me and has a lot of other stuff going on. She"s dedicated this night to spend with me, so it"s totally cool if she needs to check her texts or take a call so that she can continue to give me the rest of her free time.

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I"m curious what other people think about this. It seems to me (and people I"ve talked to about it) that if someone is checking their phone a lot, they probably aren"t very enthralled with their current situation, and it can be taken as a hint. If she"s looking at the phone all the time, she"s not being entertained enough, and it"s probably the end of it. On the other hand, she might really feel a need to text all the time, in which case I"d probably have to end it anyway because that shit"s annoying. If she was waiting for an important message and it wasn"t her usual behavior, she"d probably let you know.

If you just want to get in her pants, I guess all that stuff is acceptable for the greater good, but that would get really annoying in a relationship.

aychamo_aycono"s a faggot

Desidero said:

I"m curious what other people think about this. It seems to me (and people I"ve talked to about it) that if someone is checking their phone a lot, they probably aren"t very enthralled with their current situation, and it can be taken as a hint. If she"s looking at the phone all the time, she"s not being entertained enough, and it"s probably the end of it. On the other hand, she might really feel a need to text all the time, in which case I"d probably have to end it anyway because that shit"s annoying. If she was waiting for an important message and it wasn"t her usual behavior, she"d probably let you know.

If you just want to get in her pants, I guess all that stuff is acceptable for the greater good, but that would get really annoying in a relationship.

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I"m with you, and I think Aych is 100% wrong with the statement "they"ve dedicated the whole night to you." They haven"t, otherwise they wouldn"t be talking with a bunch of other people via texts. Just imagine them talking on the phone as opposed to staring at a screen punching a keyboard; that"s not cool, stafoo and talk to me.

It"s a matter of degrees, on the texting thing. If she"s checking it once an hour or even every half hour, big deal. My phone was set to vibrate last night while I was out with Xerxes (that"s her name for the purposes of this thread), and I pulled it out once over dinner because I got a couple emails and texts. Before I did it though, I was like "hey sorry, but my phone"s vibrated a few times, I"m trying not to be a rude ass but would you mind if I checked?" and she laughed about the crackberry, which she also has, and checked hers while I checked mine.

If she"s constantly whipping that thing out and sending 20 texts an hour, that"s a totally different story. That was one thing that annoyed me with Chuck and several other girls in the past. She"d whip out her phone mid conversation and start texting, I"d stop talking and wait patiently for her to finish, and she"d be like "oh you can keep talking I"m paying attention" when she obviously wasn"t.

Grobbee said:

As far as Chuck goes, it"s natural to creep a bit on Facebook and whatnot.

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Yeah, but I"d like to just move on and forget about her. Checking her profile once a week or day or whatever and looking at her pics (she posts a lot of pics, or shows up in a lot of other people"s pics) just wouldn"t be conducive to that.

Just be prepared to deal with her princess bullshit.

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Yeah, we"re both very much still learning when the other is joking, when they"re serious, what lines not to cross etc. I"ve pissed her off pretty good a couple times so far, when most girls would just laugh it off or not say anything and be quietly offended. She just outright calls me on it.

aychamo_aycono said:

That sucks huh? The constant text checking, or answering calls, can be rather annoying. Especially if they talk for like 10 minutes.

The way I"ve justified it is that hey, they are spending the whole evening with me. This is a person who has a life outside of me and has a lot of other stuff going on. She"s dedicated this night to spend with me, so it"s totally cool if she needs to check her texts or take a call so that she can continue to give me the rest of her free time.

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yeah, i dont really like it.

I asked her out for some beers and bowling earlier in the day and she said she had to work. Around 6 or so, she texted me saying she decided to not go in and lets go out, so I was already feeling good that she contacted me on her night playing hooky from work. I told my sister about this and she said I am doing really good to have her go out with me. She said since she is "gay" she has a lot of men and women trying to hook up with her. She said i was lucky to have her time and that she said she wanted to go out with me again.

As for the texting, she was pulling her phone out about every 5 minutes or so. This did not happen at first, but it started after we were playing pool. Sometimes she would text them back, sometimes she didnt. At one point, she was telling me she needed to change her number again because some crazed ex got her new number. I dont know. I want to believe people sometimes, but its getting to the point I do not anymore. Anyways, she told me she was starting to get bored with playing pool, so I wrapped it up and we finished off the pitcher. I asked what she wanted to do and she said drive fast down I-20. I told her she was crazy and started back towards her house... driving the speed limit.

The waitress in Houston emailed me again last night. She still thinks I am Houston. She didnt say much, but I figure she had her chance to dump on me, yet she still emailed me back. Last I told her was that i appreciated the compliments on my art and that she would have to email me some pics of her"s sometime. She responded back with "Mine is no where near as good as yours. I would be embarrased to show you"... that was it.

Eomer said:

.

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It"s not your whip she fears...but your divine power.

Eomer, some of the things you say you do seem a little creepy, but its cool because I know how you feel. You really like the girl and you dont want to lose her. Thats how I feel about my ex. After dating, I learned I had a quality woman. Thats where I was fucked in life-

I never dated, my ex was my first everything. When we were married and real life was kicking our ass, I thought I could find better than her. Once i got out and dated, i realized how good of a woman I truly had and it fucking makes me sick that I messed up so bad.

My probelm with dating is I really want to have feelings for someone and I want them to have them for me. I am not happy just dating. It drives me crazy and really is not fun.

Brad2770 said:

yeah, i dont really like it.

I asked her out for some beers and bowling earlier in the day and she said she had to work. Around 6 or so, she texted me saying she decided to not go in and lets go out, so I was already feeling good that she contacted me on her night playing hooky from work.

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Having work and then suddenly not having work makes me suspicious. Why did she bail on work? Just to hang out with some dude she barely met? I"m gonna say that"s a red flag. Can your sister verify she was actually supposed to work that night?

Brad2770 said:

As for the texting, she was pulling her phone out about every 5 minutes or so. This did not happen at first, but it started after we were playing pool. Sometimes she would text them back, sometimes she didnt. At one point, she was telling me she needed to change her number again because some crazed ex got her new number. I dont know. I want to believe people sometimes, but its getting to the point I do not anymore.

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This tells me she didn"t want to play pool, even if she said she did. Think about it: when would you pull out your phone? When you"re bored with wherever you"re at (or whatever you"re doing) but can"t leave for one reason or another. This goes back to the ditching work thing too, personally this makes me think she was supposed to hang out with others tonight and either they ditched her and didn"t want to be alone that night (red flag) or she ditched them to be with you (green flag) but in both cases she wasn"t supposed to work that night so she lied.

Brad2770 said:

Anyways, she told me she was starting to get bored with playing pool, so I wrapped it up and we finished off the pitcher. I asked what she wanted to do and she said drive fast down I-20. I told her she was crazy and started back towards her house... driving the speed limit.

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I think this further proves my point that she was bored with whatever you guys were doing and wanted to do something exciting so she had something interesting to tell her friends she did that night with you (the same friends she may or may not have been texting that she was bored while hanging out with you.)

Those are my opinions anyway, take that for what you will.

EDIT: And I leave you guys alone for 2 days and you gayed this thread up something fierce! At least we"re back on track now.

Mini_Miik said:

aychamo_aycono"s a faggot

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Shit just got real!

Sheeesh stop trying to get into the mind of a stripper,,,she"s a stripper! Just have fun and once it stops being fun, then that"s the end. Unless you both genuinely develope feelings then yay.

She probably has regulars she feels the need to butter up to so they come in to see her. She probably has "friends" who want to associate with her because they live vicariously through her. Other than that, just don"t think about it.

More advice:https://www.amazines.com/Dating/arti...ticleid=749777

One more:SinglesStop.com - Relationship Advice

Eomer I have to say this as a friend and not as an enemy here. Please take it with me having the best intentions:

STOP SAYING CHUCK WAS "BATSHIT CRAZY."

This proves you learnednothingfrom the failed relationship. Stop blaming the crumble on her being "crazy" and not on you completely cutting your balls off and handing them to her on a silver platter. You then turned into the creepiest human being possible by sending her all these fucking strange emails. I hate to say "I told you so" but probably 30 pages back or so you were talking about how you could see yourself marrying her or your "future wife" or some shit and I even said then that this was going to happen.Learn from this.Chuck is not crazy. In fact 100% the opposite: she is a female with high value who reacts just like any other high value female presented with a male who DLV"d himself out of her heart.

I"m saying this because I did the exact same shit. Kept telling myself why the only girl I felt I loved left me was because she was insane. Truth be told, I did the exact shit you did. You, and only you, fucked up the relationship. From an outside observer you appear to be the more batshit crazy one.