Girls who broke your heart thread

Big_w_powah

Big_w_powah

Trakanon Raider
1,887
750
Ronaan said:
That"s the plan.

I just fear my coworker might say "I got her number, I"ll call and let her know."
or "I"ll tell my friend to tell her it"s out."
both resulting in me not getting said number.
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Tell them you are trying to provide the best customer service by letting her know yourself; after all, you"re the salesman in this case, it is your responsibility to follow through with any news.

Assert that position.
 
P

Pub_foh

shitlord
0
0
Ronaan said:
That"s the plan.

I just fear my coworker might say "I got her number, I"ll call and let her know."
or "I"ll tell my friend to tell her it"s out."
both resulting in me not getting said number.
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You are thinking about it too much. If you just say to your coworker, "Hey, I ran into randomgirl while climbing and she asked me to order her randomitem. I checked for it and we"re sold out, could I snag her number from you?" Chances are he will just give it to you, why would he want to do extra work calling her if you are offering?

I also agree with a few others that what you"ve told us isn"t enough to determine if she is into you.

When you call her about said item casually mention another time you will be climbing and invite her.
 
Eomer

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
5,472
272
Alcestis said:
Eomer:Don"t do it. If you must, do it later. Yeah, it"s a yukata/"stereotypical Japan gift", but she"ll bring it home, hang it up, and there it will remain on her closet door. Every time she looks at it she"ll be reminded of you. Which can be both a good thing or bad thing, but now? Giving a gift this early in the game just comes off as creepy, especially if it"s clothes.
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Well, it"s not like it"s something I"d ever expect her to wear. It"s more a souvenir than clothes. Regardless though, it seems that the consensus is that it"s a bad idea, so I shall put it away in the closet and depending on how things go, maybe give it to her awhile down the road. As someone else said, if things go really well, it might be a sweet gesture down the road to pull that out.

Pulling it out and saying "hey look at this neat thing" strikes me as not being a good idea. It would just leave her wondering why I bought it.

Dabamf said:
If so, don"t buy her one. Guys give too many gifts. And I think it is almost always their affection for the girl subconsciously betraying them. They consciously know to hold back from coming on too strong, but then go gift-giving, drink-buying, or clothes-buying and ruin everything.
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I dunno, in general I just enjoy buying shit for ladies, whether it"s dinner or a trip or a gift. It"s instinctual, I think. Like those birds on Planet Earth that spend hours prepping their nests on the ground and arranging shiny rocks. And partially cultural. I mean we"ve all seen the sappy movies where the guy does something thoughtful and the girl loves it and falls for him, when the reality is basically the opposite.
 
Ronaan

Ronaan

Molten Core Raider
1,092
436
Pub said:
You are thinking about it too much. If you just say to your coworker, "Hey, I ran into randomgirl while climbing and she asked me to order her randomitem. I checked for it and we"re sold out, could I snag her number from you?" Chances are he will just give it to you, why would he want to do extra work calling her if you are offering?

I also agree with a few others that what you"ve told us isn"t enough to determine if she is into you.

When you call her about said item casually mention another time you will be climbing and invite her.
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ah well I forgot to include a few facts.
he knows I ran into her, he was there.
he also knows she ordered stuff. well... "ordered". he"s in charge of production and he told me that "we have a problem" so I think he"s on my side somewhat
normally, she would/should have ordered through him anyway because:
- she knows him since who knows when
- he"s in charge of orders
- they both have a mutual friend where it could easily be deposited for her to pick up the next time she gets there. i.e. the place the party was at.

I also wouldn"t say we"re normal coworkers, more like friends already. So if I just tell him flat out that I"m totally into her, he"ll probably give me her number or tell me what else he knows. he"s somewhat close to our host from sunday and she in turn is very good friends with the climber girl so Ibethost_girl knows something is up anyway, and she would have told him... if something is indeed up.
She made a few comments in that direction on tuesday but I played that off. I wanted to be in the clear with my ex before taking any action.

anywaay, looks like I"m a bit of a coward, eh.
 
I

Incognitogamer_foh

shitlord
0
0
You"re over-thinking this too much. Just try not to think about it so much, and let the chips fall where they may. You can make suggestions and do stuff that will put things in your favor but you have to be subtle about it. If she"s into you you should be able to tell, if you"re questioning it then she hasn"t done enough yet.

Chicks will let you know if they"re into you, pretty blatantly if they have to. Unless they"re shy, but she doesn"t seem to be that type.
 
ToeMissile

ToeMissile

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Gold Donor>
2,723
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Ronaan said:
That"s the plan.

I just fear my coworker might say "I got her number, I"ll call and let her know."
or "I"ll tell my friend to tell her it"s out."
both resulting in me not getting said number.
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That"s the least creepy way of getting her number without asking for it. Going through company records (though not possible here) is a big "no" IMO. If your friend doesn"t give you the girls number, then maybe ask him to pass a message/your number. Something along the lines of "had a good time/if you need any other help with parts/inventory/ordering/whatever to give you a call" and have the friend give her your number? And if the female friend of yours maybe wants you to get with climberGirl, talk to her to gauge if she"s into you. *shrug* Seems reasonable enough to me.
 
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Everlast_foh

shitlord
0
0
back in it.

Date tomorrow night with
8430965437384869921.jpeg
 
Azrayne

Azrayne

Irenicus did nothing wrong
2,161
786
Dabamf said:
Azrayne, I don"t know you so I can"t say for sure. But I think most often, when a guy doesn"t want to break it off with an unstable girl, it"s because he simply likes the affection.

One of my best friends is dating a girl who is, rationally, a soul-stealing succubus, but he can"t let her go even after she went total psycho mode on him. Previous to that he dated a girl who also went psycho and lived in another state and neither had any intention on moving, yet he didn"t want to break it off. I talked to a girl for months that I met on spring break once, we lived 10 hours apart and I absolutely knew the "bond" we both felt at the time was an accident of the situation and we really were way too different. In all 3 situations, I know for a fact it is/was just the attention and affection that kept the guy (my friend, my friend, me, respectively) from breaking it off.

It"s dangerous though. You think you are detached and guarded, but you can"t be completely. When she finds a new flavor of the month, as these types of girls do, she"ll drop you without warning and you will realize you had come to like and depend on the affection from her. I made the mistake of being friends with a girl like that, yes even FRIENDS and on MY terms, and despite keeping myself at a distance, when she found a new boyfriend she bailed on my big birthday party even though I was moving away barely a week afterwards. And I was pretty pissed about it even though I specifically made a point to keep myself at a certain distance from her since I knew how she was.

There are times that your reason and your emotions are at odds. And while there may be the rare occasion, I"ve never actually seen or heard about a situation where the emotional desire turned out to be the right call. It almost never is. If you break it off asap you"re gonna be happy you did later, I can almost guarantee it.
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I think you"re probably at least partially right about liking the affection. Because well yeah, she is affectionate, and having someone constantly boost your ego and talk about how attractive they think you are and how good in bed you are is, well, it"s nice. And I know that"s a bad reason to continue this not-really-a-relationship, but it"s probably at least a factor.

And you"re right about breaking it off with her. But I think anything other than a complete cessation of contact would be insufficient, and that"s a hard thing to do. I feel like a bit of a dick because I had someone close to me in a very, very similar situation last year and I was pretty blunt about them needing to cut the other person off ASAP and get on with life, for the best of all parties involved.

It"s the cowards way out, but I"m going to slow down contact and try cut back on the flirting. I think there"s a part of her that believes that somehow we"ll end up in the same place and things will magically work out, and I need to stop feeding that notion by acting like we"re still in a relationship.
 
Ronaan

Ronaan

Molten Core Raider
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Sucks... no phone number, but I got the products she ordered instead.
Now I"ll have to sit on my hands and wait. Sometimes when things go right they really go wrong somehow.

Anyhow, I guess I"ll meet one or two of her female friends over the weekend ("meet" as in "walk by, say hi, check out if I can spot any reaction").
She seems to be busy at the moment so it might be 10 days before I see her again. And that would be totally lame.
 
T

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
7,386
16
Elerion said:
That"s agreatidea.



Unless you"re still talking about the kimono.
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Cybsled

Cybsled

Avatar of War Slayer
16,471
12,109
Azrayne said:
stuff
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I"ve been in that situation before. Infact, I was in a situation so eerily close to what you described that I almost thought it was the same damn girl. Few things I learned:

1) High probability she is literally Bipolar Disorder, as in it would actually be diagnosed

2) Your emotional state, in the end, doesn"t matter as much as hers does to her: Usually the girl has low self-esteem and/or past trouble that you sympathize with. She will usually tell you stories about past boyfriends who were dickheads/players/users/rapists/whatever. It feeds right into the want to be that shining knight on horseback, who will swoop in and say "Fear not, I will save you from the douchebags!" and they will be forever grateful and loyal and everything will be all great. And you"ll play the role and everything will be going great, then one day out of the blue she will suddenly ditch you and be hanging out with another guy, who she will probably tell the same shit to. Or not. But she will keep you at arms reach, maybe recognizing that she has sway over you. And that"s the issue: You are basically acting as a tool of empowerment to her. It"s no different then the dudes who have tons of girls clawing for a booty call: It"s a huge ego boost and it"s addictive, even if the other party in question is going to be physically and emotionally used like a tissue.

3) They are possessive. Lets say you break up with her, then see another girl. Dollars to pesos she will suddenly appear, try to pull the strings she knows will tug on your heart, and try to get you to come back to her. If you fall for it and actually do, you"ll find yourself on the curb again at somepoint and you"ll have squandered whatever relationship you foolishly abandoned to chase her.
 
OhSeven

OhSeven

Mediocre Negro
<Prior Amod>
1,896
17,183
Cybsled said:
I"ve been in that situation before. Infact, I was in a situation so eerily close to what you described that I almost thought it was the same damn girl. Few things I learned:

1) High probability she is literally Bipolar Disorder, as in it would actually be diagnosed

2) Your emotional state, in the end, doesn"t matter as much as hers does to her: Usually the girl has low self-esteem and/or past trouble that you sympathize with. She will usually tell you stories about past boyfriends who were dickheads/players/users/rapists/whatever. It feeds right into the want to be that shining knight on horseback, who will swoop in and say "Fear not, I will save you from the douchebags!" and they will be forever grateful and loyal and everything will be all great. And you"ll play the role and everything will be going great, then one day out of the blue she will suddenly ditch you and be hanging out with another guy, who she will probably tell the same shit to. Or not. But she will keep you at arms reach, maybe recognizing that she has sway over you. And that"s the issue: You are basically acting as a tool of empowerment to her. It"s no different then the dudes who have tons of girls clawing for a booty call: It"s a huge ego boost and it"s addictive, even if the other party in question is going to be physically and emotionally used like a tissue.

3) They are possessive. Lets say you break up with her, then see another girl. Dollars to pesos she will suddenly appear, try to pull the strings she knows will tug on your heart, and try to get you to come back to her. If you fall for it and actually do, you"ll find yourself on the curb again at somepoint and you"ll have squandered whatever relationship you foolishly abandoned to chase her.
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What this man says is true. Every last word of it. +1 internets good sir.

I would also like to add a little advice when it comes to these girls. These girls are perfect if you know how to take advantage of them. As Cybsled said they want you to play into the whole "Knight in Shining Armor" bullshit and that"s okay for a bit, to get them to get a little nibble of you.

After that though, you have to turn into a greedy, self-centered bastard when it comes to what you want. They"ll be some fighting but in the end, if you stick to your guns, You will be left with 2 very positive outcomes. The lesser of the 2 is that she deems you not worth the trouble and moves on to someone a little weaker whom she can manipulate into the "White Knight" she wanted you to be. This is good because it proves she wasn"t worth your time AND she"s now out of your hair for good. The greater of the two is she falls for it deems you worth her time and tries 10,000 times harder to get you to fall for her the same way. This is good because at this point, She"s clay for you to mold into whatever you want, so long as you can continue to make her work for it. Throw her a treat every now and then and be a full blown romantic from time to time so she doesn"t get too discouraged.

Women with mental problems like this are no harder to train to do what you want than to train a dog. Just have to be ready put up with a bit of bullshit from time to time.
 
D

Dumar_sl

shitlord
3,712
4
OhSeven said:
What this man says is true. Every last word of it. +1 internets good sir.

I would also like to add a little advice when it comes to these girls. These girls are perfect if you know how to take advantage of them. As Cybsled said they want you to play into the whole "Knight in Shining Armor" bullshit and that"s okay for a bit, to get them to get a little nibble of you.

After that though, you have to turn into a greedy, self-centered bastard when it comes to what you want. They"ll be some fighting but in the end, if you stick to your guns, You will be left with 2 very positive outcomes. The lesser of the 2 is that she deems you not worth the trouble and moves on to someone a little weaker whom she can manipulate into the "White Knight" she wanted you to be. This is good because it proves she wasn"t worth your time AND she"s now out of your hair for good. The greater of the two is she falls for it deems you worth her time and tries 10,000 times harder to get you to fall for her the same way. This is good because at this point, She"s clay for you to mold into whatever you want, so long as you can continue to make her work for it. Throw her a treat every now and then and be a full blown romantic from time to time so she doesn"t get too discouraged.

Women with mental problems like this are no harder to train to do what you want than to train a dog. Just have to be ready put up with a bit of bullshit from time to time.
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i agree, but here"s the thing. no woman is really any different from this. the only difference is varying degrees of this type of behavior and personality. you could meet the perfect girl, but in some way, this type of thought process is still active in her pee brain.

the difference between me and many others in this thread and on this board, is that i am completely honest about this, about reality. i don"t try to use euphemisms to make women appear more normal. that"s how it is, and that"s how it will always be. with all of them.
 
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