Okay, without posting my life story, here"s the situation I find myself in.
I met this chick in March of 08" through the interwebs (I know, red flag already). We hooked up on the first night (red flag) and pretty regularly after that. Weeks go by and we start seeing each other more often and a few months later I move in (red flag), I believe this was around July.
Three or so months go by and we stop having sex; During this time and for the following five months she would go out on a fairly regular basis with her friend to various bars. We get in a huge fight in the beginning of September, and I discover a bunch of texts on her cell to 2 different guys that pretty much say that she"s been fucking them behind my back. (One said something along the lines of "My BF is bugging me, he"s always hanging around the apt" to which he replied "You should pretend to visit your parents one weekend and visit me. You know i miss dat ass") I confide in her friend and in October my GF confronts me about invading her privacy, etc. For some reason I apologize to her for this (Yah, I"m that stupid).
December comes and me, my gf, a female friend, and a male friend go out for drinks. Everyone gets pretty drunk (except me, I DD - always) and on the drive back my GF sits in the back seat with male friend. I hear her say at one point "Holding hands is ok", and later she says "Kissing isn"t a big deal". I take note of this. When we go upstairs the drinking continues. She refers to male friend as "Babe" at some point, when female friend points this out she says "I call everyone babe". She does not, in fact, call everyone babe. Male friend, female friend, and I comment about how my GF is acting wierd. At one point she yells at me for losing her cigarettes (In reality she lost them in her car) and threatens to drive to CVS to buy a pack if I don"t do it for her. I don"t want her to die, so I reluctantly go to get her a pack, with a feeling in the pit of my stomach thinking that she is going to fuck this guy. On the way to / from CVS female friend explodes my friend saying to come pick her up, she doesn"t want to be there, etc. I pick her up, and although I want to go upstairs to see what"s going on, I drive her back to her house. She"s practically in tears and I say, "She"s fucking him isn"t she?" and she goes on to say that as soon as I left my GF started yelling at her to go away, etc. She went eventually listened to her and went to the bedroom where she heard her ask him if she wanted to see her tits. He said no several times after several requests ;eventually she took out her tits anyway and then begged to see his dick for around 30 minutes. I am furious at this point and go back to the apt after a long goodbye to female friend. I get home, and the apt door wasn"t shut all the way; female friend accidently left it ajar when she came down to get taken home. I hear what sounds like one of three things: A dick getting sucked, sloppy drunk making out, or fucking (although the "Clap, clap" was not one of the sounds being heard, so I"m starting to think they may not have actually penis-in-vagina fucked). I let them know I"m home by slamming the door and taking off my shoes. I walk into the living room to see my GFs tits hanging out of her shirt, her pants down, and this dudes pants down. I confront her this situation and point out the irony that she has accused me of cheating before when I have never done anything more than hugging friends and holding drunk friends arms as to help them balance themselves when walking. She says she can"t trust me so why should I trust her. I yell, threaten physical violence, everyone leaves apt. She goes downstairs with male friend for several minutes, I tell go down there and say this is taking too long, hurry the fuck up. She comes back up and begs to let me let male friend stay the night since he has no where to go. Eventually I agree to let him stay. Few weeks later I move out while she"s at work, she goes to the crazy hospital for 3 days.
I"m in the clear, right? Did I mention we work together? Two weeks go by, and I start talking to her again at work. She has started taking her meds again, a month goes by and I move back in despite a feeling in my stomach telling me this is a mistake. The first week of February if full of fighting, then it"s smooth sailing until now.
I have since hung out with the same male friend, female friend, and my GF twice since this bullshit happened. Male friend and my GF act like none of this happened, much to my and female friends shagrin. Along the lines I have also discovered the following:
Other fun facts:
-She fucked her coke dealer during the time we were going out.
-She dated another dude in July and fucked him. She wanted to see him, he was also dating someone and told her that he was worth the wait. She told female friend "Fuck it, I"m dating [me] and he"s great." Female friend told me after this point my GF never cheated on me, to her knowledge. Since then, female friend has admitted to her knowing several dudes my GFs fucked while we were dating.
-She cheated on her ex-fiancee" several times.
-Female friend convinced my GF to break up with her ex-fiancee because my GF was miserable with him.
-She was recently drunk and stood up several hours after I went to bed (I fell asleep at ~4 am). At 6:00am she received a phone call from [coke dealer she fucked previously] and several more phone calls at 6;30, 645, 650 and 655. I could not tell if these calls were incoming, outgoing, or answered. At 6:10 my GF sent a message to a female myspace friend (one that I have not heard mentioned) that lives in a far away state that stated, "Where are you? Lets do this". I believe this message may have been to coke dealer"s fake myspace name (She visits myspace and facebook several times a day, everyday).
-For the past 3 months she has consumed less than 30 days worth of her prescription.
-In the past she has been physically violent with me. She used to cut herself. She has severe panic attacks and freak outs, where she punches herself in the head and is prone to violence. She has had several panic attacks in the past few months, and one severe freak out this past week.
-I"ve bought a puppy during this period of time.
-She had a close male friend that she never disclosed she had feelings for. I saw her initials and his initials in a heart written on our elevator in her hand writing during the period of time when I first moved in.
-She would get drunk almost every time she hung out with female friend.
-She admits to "being a bad girlfriend in the past because she would get drunk" which leads me to believe this bitch has been fucked a ton of guys while we"ve been going out.
-She has lied to female friend (who was her former best friend) about several really important things, including giving her an STD, and making her hate her former boyfriend.
-She admitted to sleeping with female friend; did not tell me a third party was involved (I assume it was her close male friend).
-I am 100% responsible for all domestic duties. I cook every meal (even when I"m not hungry), I clean every room.
-I have only had sex with her three times in the past 11 months; she was under the influence of some drug all three times.
-General cuntyness and attitude for no reason.
Everyone I know, including female friend, is urging me to break up with her. I have the desire to see other people, and I get the feeling that female friend may like me (which would be the greatest thing ever). I know that breaking up with her would probably be for the best, but I have no idea what I should do. What if she breaks all my shit after I tell her I want out? Who would get to keep the puppy? What if she reads this post and murders me in my sleep?
