Girls who broke your heart thread

Brad2770

Brad2770

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Dabamf said:
I"m legitimately happy to read this post. Sometimes when you do some stupid shit and realize the error of your ways it causes you to withdrawal if you"re a certain type of personality. I do it, haven"t really been excessively social (except for when I force myself in order to avoid being a hermit) for over a month after I had sex with that american girl disaster. More calm, more boring, but not necessarily bad as long as you don"t let it perpetuate for too long and turn into long term withdrawal or depression.

Anyway, good luck.
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The thing is, when things are going good in my life, I dont really like working with others. I enjoy being by myself. But at this point in my life, I would love having the chance to work with others, but not enough for me to change my career.
 
Brad2770

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Tarrant220 said:
Like i said before, time to start over from square one. I"m getting told old for this shit.
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I have said that before. And its probably one of the things that discourages me from actually even trying.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Well I"m not discouraged so much, a bit down that things didn"t manage to work out but I"m okay with starting over...and I"m not THAT old...I turn 29 this November....just at the moment I"m coming off feeling beaten up and slapped around emotionally so I feel kinda worn out from it all....it went on for two months, it"s at an end, dust is settling, time to move on.

Like you I don"t have a lot of interaction with others, I"m going to try and change that though, a place near me does swing dance lessons for singles gonna give that a shot I think. I just feel weird about it I guess, I"ve never really went out by myself to go meet a bunch of strangers.

It"s hard even for me and I"m about as social as they come, those that do know me can"t believe I have a hard time meeting people....-shrugs- but I do, I dunno what it is really.
 
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Lusiphur_foh

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Brad, just wanted to echo the "good on you man" comments. We all gave you shit and you upped and proved us wrong. I have to respect that, hardest thing in the world to do sometimes is to admit we aren"t on the right path and try to change things.

Tarrant, sucks to hear that, especially after how you changed. Look at it this way mate, you can take all that positive stuff and use it to impress the panties off some hottie you would never have thought you had the chops to pull. Don"t lose your foward momentum because it didn"t work out. You tried, that"s all we can ever do.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Thanks Lus, I didn"t change just to make things work with her, granted she was what opened my eyes to the need to do so, but it was for me too. I like who I am now for the most part.

My ex as it turns out...is semi retarded it seems. As I started before my friend went through with her plan to see if the guy she was int interested in would cheat on her. Come to find out, he was planning on it, the info was a given to my ex and she was upset about it for a day and now she"s back to being totally in love with the guy. Whatever they deserve each other, yea it hurts but fuck it.

The girl I talked to a bit last night seemed pretty cute from her pics in her profile, a few steps up from what I personally thought I"d be able to get a response from so that"s a plus. She smokes so that sucks ass....but whatever. Not even sure if it"ll go beyond a couple of message exchanges but we"ll see.

Like I said, I just need to get myself out there, just having a hard time doing so, it seems daunting I guess and I"m not really sure where to begin...the thought of trying makes me feel awkward I guess...not sure if I can really explain it properly or not.
 
Eomer

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Spoke with the baker briefly while driving back to my office from lunch. The conversation was very quick, we just confirmed the time and place after a bit of small talk, and that was about it.

Brad said:
Not much detail into the trip to the "The Rapist", but I wanted to say that I seem to be answering a lot of my own questions.
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I"m not sure exactly what you are saying here. Are you implying that it"s a bad thing or a good thing that you"re answering a lot of your own questions? I"m going to continue the post not really being sure which side you"re own, so forgive me if I am either agreeing or disagreeing with you.

I don"t know much about therapy, but I would think that the central point is to get you talking and thinking about stuff that normally you wouldn"t, whether with yourself or with a friend. And most importantly, being honest with yourself about whatever it is you"re discussing. Because at the end of the day, the therapist isn"t going to fix you or make any decisions for you. That"s up to yourself. They"re there to guide you through the process and perhaps poke and prod you in certain directions that you may not necessarily want to go, but they can"t dive in to your psyche and wire things up differently.

So hopefully the process is cathartic for you.
 
Brad2770

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Eomer said:
I"m not sure exactly what you are saying here. Are you implying that it"s a bad thing or a good thing that you"re answering a lot of your own questions?
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Stuff that I should know the answer to, but I dont because I get caught up in the moment. Basically, I need to think before I act. Its stuff that i have actually known, but because I guess I didnt really want to change, it never stuck.



Internet or not, it hurts when someone tells you that you are pathetic. And then another tells you that your son will turn out like you. Never would I want my son to be thought of as pathetic. I will say that is a large portion of why I wanted to go talk to a therapist.
 
Eomer

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Brad said:
Stuff that I should know the answer to, but I dont because I get caught up in the moment. Basically, I need to think before I act. Its stuff that i have actually known, but because I guess I didnt really want to change, it never stuck.
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And you"re saying that you"ve been finding the answers in the sessions, with the help of the direction the therapist gives you but without much input on her part? I would say that sounds like it"s going pretty well then.
 
Brad2770

Brad2770

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I never said it wasnt.

For the most part, she stays quiet, except for asking questions. She did give me a project this week:

She asked me to list 3 things I would like to change in my life (in a year) that I have control over. I then need to explain how I could accomplish these goals. Then I am to list 3 things that I cannot control and explain what I would do if they do not happen.
 
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Rathar_foh

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Nice work Brad!

Taking those first steps are the hardest and you did it. Bravo!

The rapists are often amazingly good at getting one to talk things through with yourself, they just give you the structure. The homework they give can be really brutal sometimes.

Sounds like you are getting along with the one you chose but keep in mind that they are like people in general, some you like and some you don"t. Don"t be afraid to shop around.

Nice work dude
 
Eomer

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Just got back from the game/date. As I feared, unfortunately she was a bit on the bigger side. Not fat by any means, but again, I"m pretty picky about body type and there wasn"t any physical attraction on my end of things. Really nice girl, seemed intelligent and was easy to talk to for the 4 hours that we hung out for, but I wouldn"t see any point in dating her again. I walked her back to her car after the game, she thanked me for the evening, I gave her a hug and said "talk to you soon" and left it there.

I certainly won"t call or message here again because it would only lead her on, and preferably that would be the end of it. But what"s the nicest way to let her down, should she contact me? Ignore her? Tell her straight up I"m not interested? Fuck her sister?

It"s really a shame, because if she was in good shape she"d probably be an 8 or 9, her face is quite attractive, but she"d need to drop probably 30lbs.
 
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[LVC]DeGrassi_foh

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Eomer said:
Just got back from the game/date. As I feared, unfortunately she was a bit on the bigger side. Not fat by any means, but again, I"m pretty picky about body type and there wasn"t any physical attraction on my end of things. Really nice girl, seemed intelligent and was easy to talk to for the 4 hours that we hung out for, but I wouldn"t see any point in dating her again. I walked her back to her car after the game, she thanked me for the evening, I gave her a hug and said "talk to you soon" and left it there.

I certainly won"t call or message here again because it would only lead her on, and preferably that would be the end of it. But what"s the nicest way to let her down, should she contact me? Ignore her? Tell her straight up I"m not interested? Fuck her sister?

It"s really a shame, because if she was in good shape she"d probably be an 8 or 9, her face is quite attractive, but she"d need to drop probably 30lbs.
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So be a fucking man and tell her shes to fucking fat for you ? Jesus christ. As you get older these standards are gonna have to waiver .. unless you want to keep the track racord going of .. girls .. you dont end up with ? let me get this straight .. girls inteligent, easy to talk to, seems cool .. can talk to her no prob .. shes not "fat" just a little chubby and boom no attraction cause of that ? Good luck then, your a lost fucking cause.
 
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Tenks

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Dude if he isn"t into her he isn"t into her. He"s going about it the right way. No need to just insult the girl by saying "Lol ur kewl but u r 2 fat and ur kneez r way sharp lul." Just don"t message her and don"t respond to her message if she sends you one. She"ll get the point.

-edit-

Oh yeah I had a date tonight as well. It was ok I guess as far as first dates go. Girl is way cute but I"m not sure if she"s what I"m looking for nor am I someone she is looking for. We"ll see -- she wants to meet again.
 
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[LVC]DeGrassi_foh

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Tenks said:
Dude if he isn"t into her he isn"t into her. He"s going about it the right way. No need to just insult the girl by saying "Lol ur kewl but u r 2 fat and ur kneez r way sharp lul." Just don"t message her and don"t respond to her message if she sends you one. She"ll get the point.
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Bullshit, if hes so picky ... he should be able to tell her to fuckign loose the weight. Just tell her ... your to fucking fat for my skiing, mountain biking, bmw driving ass. Why play it like a bitch and hide in hopes she goes away?
 
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Tenks

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Uhhh because it accomplishes zero, zilch, nada to insult the girl. These people are real life human beings not vapid idiots who"s only job is to be attractive and serve you her warm pie. I"m sure she is a very nice and intelligent girl but if she isn"t Eomer"s type then there is no need to persue things further. Thats what a first date is, simply to gauge interest levels. Honestly you sound like the biggest asshole in the world if you find it acceptable to belittle people like that.
 
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[LVC]DeGrassi_foh

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Tenks said:
Uhhh because it accomplishes zero, zilch, nada to insult the girl. These people are real life human beings not vapid idiots who"s only job is to be attractive and serve you her warm pie. I"m sure she is a very nice and intelligent girl but if she isn"t Eomer"s type then there is no need to persue things further. Thats what a first date is, simply to gauge interest levels. Honestly you sound like the biggest asshole in the world if you find it acceptable to belittle people like that.
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Well if a girl I dont find attractive wants to go on a second date, I let her know .. hey I am not interested in you cause ect... I dont play like a bitch, especially after all his macho ... I drive a BMW man .... I go skiing every weekend MAN ... this is how you date MAN ... my fucking house is the shit man ... no girl can say no to my fucking PAD man .. attitude.
 
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