Girls who broke your heart thread
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Eomer
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Extremely busy with work, out of town on weekends, incredibly picky about the opposite sex, not overly concerned about sex for sex"s sake, the list goes on and on. And yes, no question that I"m not particularly good at the whole dating thing, I have said so repeatedly in this thread. What the fuck do you want me to say? WHICH IS WHY I WAS ASKING FOR COMMENTS/ADVICE ON HOW TO HANDLE THAT PARTICULAR SITUATION, OR WHETHER OR NOT TO AVOID IT, YOU STUPID FUCK.arkk123 said:
ugh, why am I feeding this troll?
Go back and read posts, this isn"t fucking news you idiot, nor have I ever denied it. I know it, my friends know it, the whole American people know it.
I"ve never dated a "vapid" girl. I can"t stand them either. Again, you guys seem to have this impression that all I care about is looks, when that"s absolutely not the case. I"m every bit as picky about personality as I am about looks. That"s one of the biggest reasons why I have long dry streaks and am typically single, my standards are almost impossibly high in every respect. Is that really a big problem? Fuck it, I"m in no rush to settle. I"ll leave that to TheCutlery (just kidding brah!).Tenks said:
That"s how I look at it. I have no interest in coming up with acts and gimmicks and shit, but the underlying concepts are very valuable. Some guys get them innately, a lot of guys don"t. I never made much attempt at learning about women in my teens and early 20"s, so I"m playing catch up in a lot of respects. And yes, it does say a lot about my "game" that even with all I have to offer I still am not exactly Don Juan. I"ve readily admitted that all along and certainly have made no effort to try to portray myself as some sort of love guru here.The Ancient said:
So again, advice on the bag drop situation please and thank you!
Eomer- why are you so clearly looking for validation on an internet forum, if you"re such a success in the money, looks andawesome dudedepartment?
It"s pretty basic and it"s been said a million times before but the best way to have natural "game" is not care so damn much. Part of what makes this thread so ironic is anyone who posts here looking for advice obviously cares a great deal, enough to ask strangers for their opinion of their situation.Eomer said:
It"s almost self-perpetuating.
Stop overthinking it, give her the fucking bag. What happens if she thinks your a creep? Nothing.
Actually he scares away someone he had interest in. That"s a tad bit more than nothing simply because of a poor decision.The Ancient said:
You are right. It"ll probably cost him "the one." Overthink it and take a needling, unconfident approach for fear of failure, that"s the answer!
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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Holy fuck, I came here looking for some advice on a situation to which this thread supposedly revolves around, get jumped on by a bunch of jackasses, explain and defend myself, and I"m looking for validation? I have plenty of validation outside of these boards, I don"t need more here.Grooverider said:
Fuck it, I won"t bother posting any of my shit here any more, wouldn"t want to wad people"s panties up more than I have already. Keep on trucking tough guys.
Don"t know why you"re that concerned about the drive by posters in this thread. For all we know they"re 27 year old 300lb virgins who"ve never even felt up a boob. Though I admit I didn"t read your initial post about the girl so I don"t really know whats going on.
Uh, ok. I skimmed the post but sometimes Eomer"s are just too long and I get distracted - this was one instance. I"m pretty sure most of the other people who post here frequently know who I am and know I generally give quality objective advice. You, however, I see here like 3 times a month and it"s generally just trolling and doling out a handing of stupidity.
Brad, I won"t be as brutal as some other posters have, but I do believe you are making a very bad mistake in having this broad move in with you. You"ve stated the number one reason she moved in was due to the driving (and, perhaps by extension, the cost of driving). Iirc, you two live in the same city. How much driving are we talking about? (That"s actually a rhetorical question, don"t answer it).
The point is, you"ve basically fallen into one of the many pitfalls of a likely doomed relationship. Relationships take work. Lots of work at times. The fact that it would be "easier" or "less driving" are not valid reasons for having a person move in with you. I think you can see where the line of reasoning you"ve offered very often gets people into trouble: "I don"t like driving to visit you" turns into "Move in with me!" What"s next? "I like cars, we should buy one together!" Keep that way of thinking going and pretty soon you"ll be to, "Hey, we"ve been living together for 5 years, we should get married!" Almost without fail you"ll be divorced within a year of making that leap. A decision as monumental as having someone with whom you are dating move in with you should take far more processing power than a few flippant comments about the "hassle" of having to drive to see someone. Jesus.
However, I think the real travesty here is the effect your decision will have on your son. I am sure Dabamf will be able to touch on this more given his education, but just think about your son"s perspective for a second. I don"t believe you"ve ever mentioned whether you have introduced your girlfriend to him. That leads me to believe that his contact with her has been minimal. You get to see your son on, I believe, alternating weekends. What kind of a shock do you think it"s going to be on him to get psyched up to see his Dad, only to find out that a new "mom" has moved in? Btw, even if you try to not act overtly flirtatious with your girl while your son is around, kids have fucking radar for that kind of shit and I guarantee he will see through it. Or, worse, walk in on you guys going at it. Some people who have kids will wait months before even allowing their kids to meet someone they"ve been dating, let alone have them move in at the drop of a hat.
I know you value your son"s interests well above your own, so it is mind-boggling (perhaps even mind-bottling) to me that you would be so cavalier about a decision that has a major impact on your son, whether you choose to acknowledge it now or down the road. Your son has already gone through a divorce. What happens if you and your girl stay together for six months and then decide to break up for whatever reason? Your son will likely have developed a very close bond with this gal and now she"s gone. Furthermore, what kind of message are you sending to your son, who will likely emulate you, perhaps his greatest role model, that it"s a-okay to move in with someone with whom you have dated a sum total of 4 1/2 months (separated by at least a year).
Finally, your girl may act like fucking Mother Theresa around your child when you"re both there, but what happens when you"re at work and she"s stuck babysitting? Again, I think your girl is all of 19 or 20 years old. I know precious few 20 year olds who are thrilled at the thought of babysitting their boyfriend"s kid.
Hell, now that I"ve written this novel, I think Tenks may be right. Shit.
The point is, you"ve basically fallen into one of the many pitfalls of a likely doomed relationship. Relationships take work. Lots of work at times. The fact that it would be "easier" or "less driving" are not valid reasons for having a person move in with you. I think you can see where the line of reasoning you"ve offered very often gets people into trouble: "I don"t like driving to visit you" turns into "Move in with me!" What"s next? "I like cars, we should buy one together!" Keep that way of thinking going and pretty soon you"ll be to, "Hey, we"ve been living together for 5 years, we should get married!" Almost without fail you"ll be divorced within a year of making that leap. A decision as monumental as having someone with whom you are dating move in with you should take far more processing power than a few flippant comments about the "hassle" of having to drive to see someone. Jesus.
However, I think the real travesty here is the effect your decision will have on your son. I am sure Dabamf will be able to touch on this more given his education, but just think about your son"s perspective for a second. I don"t believe you"ve ever mentioned whether you have introduced your girlfriend to him. That leads me to believe that his contact with her has been minimal. You get to see your son on, I believe, alternating weekends. What kind of a shock do you think it"s going to be on him to get psyched up to see his Dad, only to find out that a new "mom" has moved in? Btw, even if you try to not act overtly flirtatious with your girl while your son is around, kids have fucking radar for that kind of shit and I guarantee he will see through it. Or, worse, walk in on you guys going at it. Some people who have kids will wait months before even allowing their kids to meet someone they"ve been dating, let alone have them move in at the drop of a hat.
I know you value your son"s interests well above your own, so it is mind-boggling (perhaps even mind-bottling) to me that you would be so cavalier about a decision that has a major impact on your son, whether you choose to acknowledge it now or down the road. Your son has already gone through a divorce. What happens if you and your girl stay together for six months and then decide to break up for whatever reason? Your son will likely have developed a very close bond with this gal and now she"s gone. Furthermore, what kind of message are you sending to your son, who will likely emulate you, perhaps his greatest role model, that it"s a-okay to move in with someone with whom you have dated a sum total of 4 1/2 months (separated by at least a year).
Finally, your girl may act like fucking Mother Theresa around your child when you"re both there, but what happens when you"re at work and she"s stuck babysitting? Again, I think your girl is all of 19 or 20 years old. I know precious few 20 year olds who are thrilled at the thought of babysitting their boyfriend"s kid.
Hell, now that I"ve written this novel, I think Tenks may be right. Shit.
Let"s compare our average annual tail and use it to gauge the amount of validitiy we bring to this thread! It"s the new "dick measuring" contest!
The only person with "wad up panties" is you. Clearly.Eomer said:
I only responded at all because of your self congratulatory sentence that caused me to cringe so very hard. It was very mippo-esq.
Tarrant
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Anyways, I"ll interject with a bit of good news.
Today is exactly one month since Michele and I went out on our first date, we"ve decide that"s pretty much when we started seeing each other since we were both exclusive from that point on even though nothing was labeled till a few weeks later.
Shits going great, couldn"t be happier.
As far as Brad, I wont say much on your decision since it"s been made and in the process of being carried out, I just hope it doesn"t blow up in your face and be prepared for massive I told you so"s if it doesn"t work out. (not from me mind you but I"m sure you get the idea.) I honestly hope shit works out for you and her.
Today is exactly one month since Michele and I went out on our first date, we"ve decide that"s pretty much when we started seeing each other since we were both exclusive from that point on even though nothing was labeled till a few weeks later.
Shits going great, couldn"t be happier.
As far as Brad, I wont say much on your decision since it"s been made and in the process of being carried out, I just hope it doesn"t blow up in your face and be prepared for massive I told you so"s if it doesn"t work out. (not from me mind you but I"m sure you get the idea.) I honestly hope shit works out for you and her.
brekk
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Eomer, All I will say is try to avoid Facebook stalking until AFTER you"ve met/conversed with the person.
Judge whether this is a person to worry about when you meet them. You shouldn"t be trying to figure out how to go on a date with them already. Call her about handign off the bag, say there"s a coffee shop (or whatever) that would be easy to meet at.
Meet her, hand off the bag, sit and have a cup of coffee, if it goes well say you"ll call her again some time. (since you already have her # due to the bag) This facebook stalking already is messed up.
Personal Situation: Hitting the 5 month mark with Fireworks girl later this week. My birthday is tomorrow and hers was Saturday so we did birthday stuff Friday night. Chilled at my house for a bit, went out for dinner and drove around to a few stores for fun. Came back to my place and watched a movie. I got her a stuffed Black Lab puppy as a present (she"s been complaining about missing her dogs while away at school) it was a big hit. And my birthday gift was some hot red and black lingerie on her. I enjoyed it greatly.
Shits going good.
Two weekends ago we did have a bit of a serious discussion. Most of this semester we"ve had to force a week of dating into 24hrs when I either drive down to her school or she comes home for the weekend (50 minutes away at school) she had me read a Journal entry she wrote about us. She admitted she had been concerned that we rushed into sex (we had only been dating 3 weeks and it was her first time) but that she felt better about it since we we"re still together and I had obviously not been just trying to use her for sex. We joked a little that I thought she had either wanted to talk about the L word, or abortion. We agreed we both like each other a lot but neither of us are the type to rush into saying, I Love You.
Judge whether this is a person to worry about when you meet them. You shouldn"t be trying to figure out how to go on a date with them already. Call her about handign off the bag, say there"s a coffee shop (or whatever) that would be easy to meet at.
Meet her, hand off the bag, sit and have a cup of coffee, if it goes well say you"ll call her again some time. (since you already have her # due to the bag) This facebook stalking already is messed up.
Personal Situation: Hitting the 5 month mark with Fireworks girl later this week. My birthday is tomorrow and hers was Saturday so we did birthday stuff Friday night. Chilled at my house for a bit, went out for dinner and drove around to a few stores for fun. Came back to my place and watched a movie. I got her a stuffed Black Lab puppy as a present (she"s been complaining about missing her dogs while away at school) it was a big hit. And my birthday gift was some hot red and black lingerie on her. I enjoyed it greatly.
Shits going good.
Two weekends ago we did have a bit of a serious discussion. Most of this semester we"ve had to force a week of dating into 24hrs when I either drive down to her school or she comes home for the weekend (50 minutes away at school) she had me read a Journal entry she wrote about us. She admitted she had been concerned that we rushed into sex (we had only been dating 3 weeks and it was her first time) but that she felt better about it since we we"re still together and I had obviously not been just trying to use her for sex. We joked a little that I thought she had either wanted to talk about the L word, or abortion. We agreed we both like each other a lot but neither of us are the type to rush into saying, I Love You.