I"m gonna say listen to the guys with personal experience with the exact same issue, and bow outa this one. Let us know how it goes.
Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
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Just curious - when you first confronted her, before you showed her the aim log, how did she react (immediate reaction)? It sounds like she started making excuses right off the bat i.e. "I was drunk/stoned/don"t remember". But if she truly didn"t remember anything, wouldn"t she have first denied it and demanded to see the posts in real disbelief?" I think her reaction was key. My gut is she definitely remembers and knew what she was doing and now feels guilty since she was caught. I agree with what everyone else says above - with once exception. People can trust each other again...its possible, but not easy - and its not perfect.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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First off, shouldn"t have went through her shit, you don"t "get curious" and start going through personal things. That"s like saying "I wanted a piece of gum so I got some from your purse...then was curious as to what else was in there."
Sounds like to me you didn"t trust her on some level from the get go.
Either way, she broke your trust, and in a way, you broke hers...how she doesn"t see that I"m not sure but whatever. Trust can be regained as said above, it"s just hard and takes time and you have to want to make it work, if you"re the type of person that can"t move past something that it wont happen so the ball is in your court. Move on or don"t.
As for not getting pissed over how someone talks online....I don"t care how the communication is being made it"s still bad.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
Sounds like to me you didn"t trust her on some level from the get go.
Either way, she broke your trust, and in a way, you broke hers...how she doesn"t see that I"m not sure but whatever. Trust can be regained as said above, it"s just hard and takes time and you have to want to make it work, if you"re the type of person that can"t move past something that it wont happen so the ball is in your court. Move on or don"t.
As for not getting pissed over how someone talks online....I don"t care how the communication is being made it"s still bad.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
Peopledodo or say shit they don"t mean when they are completely sloshed. It doesn"t neccesarily mean she isn"t commited to you at other times.
If the relationship really was perfect in other aspects, it"s probably worth salvaging. She didn"t actually sleep with the guy or even do anything physical.
What really matters though is how you feel about it. If you feel that you can"t let it go then obviously it"s just going to ruin your relationship, and you wouldn"t bewrongfor doing so.
If the relationship really was perfect in other aspects, it"s probably worth salvaging. She didn"t actually sleep with the guy or even do anything physical.
What really matters though is how you feel about it. If you feel that you can"t let it go then obviously it"s just going to ruin your relationship, and you wouldn"t bewrongfor doing so.
I"m one of those people that believes your true colors come out when drunk because inhibitions are completely gone
That isn"t true though. You don"t think things through when you are drunk. If you are feeling horny and flirty when you are drunk you might not think twice about the repurcusions you might face when you do things, but that doesn"t mean it"s who you are. Who you are is how you would treat that situation other times, when you do have the sense of mind to say "I shouldn"t do this." It"s a can be a confusing distinction to understand, but to say your "true colors" are who you are when you don"t possess the moral character you have 99% of your life that just doesn"t make sense.
Now if she"s the type of person who is constantly getting drunk and doing such things that is a different story, but we don"t have the background information to make that determination.
Now if she"s the type of person who is constantly getting drunk and doing such things that is a different story, but we don"t have the background information to make that determination.
I got lucky once and made that happen. FIrst date, she was apperently a slut and smoked, so I wouldnt kiss her but i had no problems fucking her that night lol.Dabamf said:
Ok I can give you that certain actions performed while drunk may be due to the lack of inhibition but this is more a problem in that shesaidsomething on AIM. I am 100% certain what she said is truly how she feels.The Ancient said:
There is still a difference between the intensity with which she misses the things she can do when she was single 5 months ago when she"s drunk and when she"s sober. Nobody likes being in a relationship for the things it restricts, but you may give a much bigger shit about the pros when you are in your normal state of mind.
You bring up a good point. For some reason the day after drinking I become really depressed and I constantly think I need to be single. This may be sort of like that. However I don"t find a random skank online to talk to about how much I want to be single.
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Okay, so she may not be the same person when she"s drunk so flirting was okay, but whats up with saying well my relationship isn"t that great anyway? That seems to me more like a true statement finally coming out. If its great then she"d say so no matter what right? She"d have those great memories etc that would come to mind before she said that. I mean we"ll never know if she just said that from truth or to impress the guy though, we"ll never know what she was thinking or if she still thinks that. Up to how well you know her.
It"s a tough call, I"d feel it out see how she acts and keep a close eye on her, if you dont feel she is doing the things necessary to keep your worries at rest then cut ties and move on, it is a pretty big thing to read that in my opinion.
It"s a tough call, I"d feel it out see how she acts and keep a close eye on her, if you dont feel she is doing the things necessary to keep your worries at rest then cut ties and move on, it is a pretty big thing to read that in my opinion.
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Acting like it never happened? Sounds familiar, I"d say that shit to my ex and she"d be like look I thought we moved on and got over this, I"m trying to make things up to you and you just keep bringing it up etc.. shit pisses me off cause its a cop out excuse imo.
But that could be the case with her, as long as she"s making you happy and trying to move on with it then whats point in bringing it up again
But that could be the case with her, as long as she"s making you happy and trying to move on with it then whats point in bringing it up again
Brah, whatever decision you make you have to own. So if you decide to stay with this chick, don"t keep bringing the fucking AIM chat log up as some sort of instant gotcha.sl4ck3r said:
Its a completely douche move to look through the logs. But that is irrelevant to the current reality. You will never trust that chick again (if you ever did) and she obviously is not very content in the relationship. Not sure what kind of future such a relationship has. This issue will never go away.
This is going to be the hardest thing for him. Every time they get into a disagreement he is going to be so tempted to use that as a weapon. She will probably take it the first time .. the second .. not so much and by the third she will be like ... "see ya".Cynno said:
Oh and don"t ever go through her shit ever again if you are serious about rebuilding trust. It"s a two way street and it hasn"t hit her yet that you invaded her privacy. It will however (as long as she has two functional brain cells).
Either that or she trusts him because she believes that he"d never cheat on her ever (she thinks she has significantly higher social value - which might be the reason that she"s looking for a different man in the first place).
This is why spying on your partner is pretty much guaranteed lose-lose. On one hand even if you don"t find anything it still means you don"t trust your bf/gf (I would never check my girlfriend"s e-mail "just out of curiosity"), and on the other hand if you do find something that means your relationship probably wasn"t going to work out anyways.
Let that ho go. I don"t buy into the whole, "she was drunk" was only AIM shit. She obviously stated she wish she were single. I say, stay with her until Christmas day, write a break up note that says, "See bitch wishes do happen", attached with a picture of you banging another girl. Or just the note if you can"t get laid before then. *Edit* Put the note in a gift wrapped box. Make this shit look legit, maybe a five pound weight to make the box feel like there is something of worth in it.
I wanna know what kind of girl thinks that it is okay for some douchebag to go through her personal conversations. You"re in the wrong about this just as much as she is.