Girls who broke your heart thread

Your "plan" sucks. Have an enjoyable dinner and see where it goes from there.

Giving a girl some good loving doesn"t make them want you less.

No, but Dabamf is absolutely right. Every other guy they"ve dated has likely tried to get in their pants instantly. When all of the sudden this new guy, despite appearing to be fairly interested, isn"t trying the same thing it can definitely increase their attraction and/or make them work harder for validation. Depending on the girl of course.

Yeah except you aren"t fooling anyone when you fake not trying to get in their pants to get in their pants later on.

Or maybe you are, what the fuck do I know besides this thread hurts my head sometimes. I know it"s tough when you haven"t been with anyone in awhile but you guys regularly make things a lot harder than they actually are by overthinkingeverything. I never really plan anything out beyond where I"m starting the evening and I do pretty alright.

*shrug* All"s I know is that the past half dozen or so relationships I"ve had, sex has come within the first couple dates (which took place over no more than a week), and they"ve not gone anywhere. So in some ways I"m glad that things in my current situation are proceeding quite slowly, perhaps it"ll lead to something that lasts longer.

I agree with the ancient.

You can already sleep with this girl, yet you want to make her want you more? What the fuck for? The only answer I can think of, is to be a cunt.

In any case, I"m pretty sure sexing her up would make her like you more than telling her you"ve got better things to do than play doctors and nurses.
Unless you have a choad. Then I guess your out of luck.

*shrug* All"s I know is that the past half dozen or so relationships I"ve had, sex has come within the first couple dates (which took place over no more than a week), and they"ve not gone anywhere. So in some ways I"m glad that things in my current situation are proceeding quite slowly, perhaps it"ll lead to something that lasts longer.

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this. Like I said she"s a cool chick that I"d definitely like to hang out with more / get to know better. I know plenty of girls I could go wine dine then 69 to get my jollies off, yet I"m gonna try a different angle this time around and see if the results vary. This one just might be worth hanging out with more than just a week or two..who knows, I"ll find out more tonight.

Eomer said:

*shrug* All"s I know is that the past half dozen or so relationships I"ve had, sex has come within the first couple dates (which took place over no more than a week), and they"ve not gone anywhere. So in some ways I"m glad that things in my current situation are proceeding quite slowly, perhaps it"ll lead to something that lasts longer.

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And you think this has to do with your time period for having sex with them and not some other compatibility measure?

Here is a honest break-down for you and bofa, you don"t get to force a girl into wanting more than a temporary sexual relationship by putting it off in the beginning. You can make her want you more, for sure, but it"s not going to translate into some over-arching true love scenario just cause you pull it off. And while you can pull it off if you aren"t really good at it, you"ll fuck it up just as easily. Take some when you can get it, I say. You probably need the practice more than you need to make sure this girl becomes "the one."

this. Like I said she"s a cool chick that I"d definitely like to hang out with more / get to know better. I know plenty of girls I could go wine dine then 69 to get my jollies off, yet I"m gonna try a different angle this time around and see if the results vary. This one just might be worth hanging out with more than just a week or two..who knows, I"ll find out more tonight.

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The Ancient is right. Don"t worry so much about whether you"re going to end up getting some or not. Who knows, maybe SHE won"t want to sleep with you on the first date (generally a good indicator of "nice girl" status, but not always). I would go on the date, have a good time, drive her home, walk her up to her door, give her a nice kiss and then go home. If she asks to go to your place just tell her you have work tomorrow but that you would love to see her again on X day this upcoming week.

A girl I met on Halloween and I have been talking since... we"ve been out a few times, talk on the phone for hours, all that fun stuff... I like her. I like her so much I threw away the 8 phone numbers hot girls gave me the past few days of mardi gras.

She"s pretty stand offish physically though. Reluctant to be affectionate. Last night she told me she was raped a few years ago. I am confused about my feelings.

FML

I think you just agreed with bofa, not me.

Ashes Emberblade said:

A girl I met on Halloween and I have been talking since... we"ve been out a few times, talk on the phone for hours, all that fun stuff... I like her. I like her so much I threw away the 8 phone numbers hot girls gave me the past few days of mardi gras.

She"s pretty stand offish physically though. Reluctant to be affectionate. Last night she told me she was raped a few years ago. I am confused about my feelings.

FML

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Abort. Run away. Pull out. Eject.

Ashes Emberblade said:

A girl I met on Halloween and I have been talking since... we"ve been out a few times, talk on the phone for hours, all that fun stuff... I like her. I like her so much I threw away the 8 phone numbers hot girls gave me the past few days of mardi gras.

She"s pretty stand offish physically though. Reluctant to be affectionate. Last night she told me she was raped a few years ago. I am confused about my feelings.

FML

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I dated a girl who was raped. It"s not a good situation to knowingly push yourself into.

I think he"s more saying that getting into a relationship with someone with that background without realizing that it"s likely going to be emotionally taxing/confusing for both sides is not a good idea.

"likely"

The Ancient said:

And you think this has to do with your time period for having sex with them and not some other compatibility measure?

Here is a honest break-down for you and bofa, you don"t get to force a girl into wanting more than a temporary sexual relationship by putting it off in the beginning. You can make her want you more, for sure, but it"s not going to translate into some over-arching true love scenario just cause you pull it off. And while you can pull it off if you aren"t really good at it, you"ll fuck it up just as easily. Take some when you can get it, I say. You probably need the practice more than you need to make sure this girl becomes "the one."

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I get your point and I agree. But restraint sets the tone for a more mature and real relationship. (It can also rile a girl up and keep her more interested and for longer if you are just looking for a fuck buddy.) And her perception matters also. What do you think of when you meet a girl and hook up with her the first night? Even if you really like her, you are probably gonna proceed very cautiously thinking maybe she"s just a party girl and you"re gonna get hurt (or if you"re a guy, you"ll probably see it as fucked over or simply "she"s a slut"). She might think the same about you, that you"re a player or a womanizer or whatever. Maybe there could be something real there, but since you both are on your guard protecting your ego from what may be an insincere person, the relationship never takes off.

No, it"s not gonna create something out of nothing. But it will increase the chance that you find that something if it is there.

I really like her, though. She has a great personality and sense of humor and we have chemistry. I"m going to take it slowly and see how things pan out.