Girls who broke your heart thread

Tarrant

Tarrant

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So are any number of other things, I mean yeah you need a physical attraction to first build off of but I rank personality higher then that stuff any day of the week.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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You know Whyme may have a nugget of a point. I don"t think it"s a good idea to just outright say "hey I really like you" but after discussing this with a female friend a bit (and receiving a text from Brit not 20 seconds ago), it may well be that she was put off by my not having called for a week or two after getting her number and/or thought that maybe I was just trying to wine and dine her for a quick lay or something. And for the record I wasn"t trying to "game" her by not calling for awhile. I was and am genuinely super fucking busy and didn"t have a chance. I feel like a jackass because my old neighbour flame has been waiting 3+ weeks for a phone call that I haven"t had a chance to make yet, and I"m not trying to game her either. Not knowing Brit"s dating history or indeed what it"s like in the UK it"s possible she"s playing her cards close to the chest. This is what my lady friend said:

ha ha. well, I don"t know exactly how it went down when you two first met but it sounds like you weren"t exactly "pursuing" her, and possibly being pretty casual about it. It sounds like she might be kinda into you, but possibly got turned off (maybe not the right word), or less interested as she thought you were only mildly interested. Sometimes girls won"t go out with a guy if she thinks he"s only kinda interested as past experiences have taught them that it will turn into a couple month thing at best, they will probably end up getting hurt and the whole thing ends up being a waste of time. Then again, I could be 100% wrong as I don"t know her.

My advice would be this.... she seems to be telling you she wants you to put in more effort, so if you think there could legitimately be something there, then do what she says and put in more effort! I don"t know if this is your style, but I can almost guarantee you it will get you another date (and lots of brownie points), find out her address, send her some flowers and on the card ask her to go out on a specific time and date. If she really wants to go she"ll make it work. Oh and if you want to ask her out on a date CALL HER. Nothing is more irritating when you don"t know a guy well and he asks you out on dates via text. That"s reserved for later on in the dating game. At the very least the guy should actually have to move his mouth and produce real words to ask a girl out on the first few dates. But that"s just my opinion
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Her advice on the flowers is likely a terrible idea, but otherwise she might be right.
 
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Dabamf_sl

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You see her the same night. Don"t talk to her much. She sends you a text and you immediately ask her out the first message you send. Then comment that she makes excuses with you, openly acknowledging that you want to see her more than she wants to see you.

Pretty self explanatory.

I disagree with the people here. I don"t think she"s into you at all. I think she"s playing feel good because she"s drunk and likes the attention (or just likes the attention) and, if I"m a girl, Eomer is a god damn amazing source of attention. 1 text and I know he"s replying 8 pages back with standup jokes ready to pummel me with wit.

I honestly have not read a single chat or txt log that seemed like authentic eomer to me. With that much log posted over the past year+, I should have a good idea of who you are as a person. I have no clue, all I see is a guy who just tries to be witty every chance possible.

Not intended to be an attack. Just my observations
 
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Tenks

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Oh yeah I forgot to respond to Eomer.

I agree with Dabamf. You asked her to get together not once but twice and both times she just ignored it. Not a good sign.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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Dabamf said:
I honestly have not read a single chat or txt log that seemed like authentic eomer to me. With that much log posted over the past year+, I should have a good idea of who you are as a person. I have no clue, all I see is a guy who just tries to be witty every chance possible.

Not intended to be an attack. Just my observations
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Well actually the girl I"ve been chatting with about dating and life in general has basically said the exact same thing about me, but in general terms. The constant sarcasm and smartassed comments pretty much IS me, whether that"s a good or bad thing, it"s pretty central to my personality.

As far as Brit goes, I do think she"s at least a bit interested after last night and her again texting me today asking how I felt this morning etc. and that it"s too bad her friend was leaving cause she"d have loved to see a game. I kept the replies short, that I felt fine was mostly just tired and that her friend should come for 6 days next time. Maybe Dabamf is right and I"m just providing her with attention, I dunno, we shall see I guess.

And for the record I agree with past comments and my friend"s comments about texting too much.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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I was thinking more along the lines of a singing telegram, whatever the hell they"re called. Then The Package.
 
A

Aztlan_sl

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It"s also a possibility that she just doesn"t want to give in too quickly either. Many women don"t want to come off as easy so they delay you and make you "work" for it.

If I were you Eomer, I"d give it another shot but over the phone and be a bit more upfront about your desires to get to know her more in a genuine way. If she continues to delay, and play hard to get, just move on and "friend" status her. Your time is valuable.
 
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Ashes Emberblade_foh

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I"ve never had good results from text message conversations, because the subtleties of the spoken language are not conveyed in the written tongue. I keep text messages to "want to meet up later?" and the like.

Keep it to yes or no questions and leave the rest to a voice conversation, Eomer. I think it"s very easy to take what you text the wrong way, and you really come across as trying too hard.

Girls despise trying hard.
 
ToeMissile

ToeMissile

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Ashes Emberblade said:
Girls despise trying hard.
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I don"t really agree with this, think it"s a bit broad. Obviously desperat(e/ion) isn"t what you want to be or project, but no one (who should be considered for a relationship IMO) likes to be treated like crap or that they don"t matter. The oft mentioned point/advice of projecting the importance of your time, and showing that you"re more than casually interested aren"t mutually exclusive. It can be somewhat of a fine line (that differs between people/situations/etc) where effort, reception, and reciprocation meet, but it is more than possible.

Mostly I just don"t like to deal with or play games like that.
 
brekk

brekk

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The end goal is to project that you are interested, and that they are lucky you are.

Ambivalent confidence without something to show that your also interested in them isn"t good enough.

Nor is making it clear from the start the you are interested, but overdoing it to the point of looking desperate.
 
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Dabamf_sl

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Whyme said:
Your friend sounds like a smart cookie Eomer. I would do what she recommended.
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Correction:
You shouldalwayslisten to a girl"sinterpretationof a situation with another girl.
You shouldneverlisten to a girl"sadviceabout what to do about it.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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haha yeah, I wrote the friend back and said pretty much exactly what Dabamf said: thanks for interpreting where she"s at, but fuck no I am not sending flowers, do I look like Hugh Grant to you?
 
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Tenks

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Yeah it"s laughable just how shitty girl"s advice is in terms of winning over another chick. They really have no clue what they want.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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Called Brit last night. No answer and she called back a few minutes later. Chatted about random stuff for a few minutes (I really enjoy talking with her, she"s almost as witty/smartassed as me!), and asked if she was around Thursday with the intention of checking out a friend"s documentary he"s premiering. Again she already had plans, I laughed and said the excuses keep piling up, she laughed as well and swore that she wasn"t lying that normally she hangs out with the ladies on Wednesday but some of them are going to the Oilers game tonight so they moved it and that maybe we could do something next week instead since she"s going to Jasper again this weekend (she goes to the mountains almost as much as I do!). I said no problem and that I"d call her Sunday or Monday and see if we can make something work.

So yeah, I think she"s at least somewhat interested, but genuinely quite busy. Much like the last Anne was. We shall see I guess.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

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If anyone"s that busy where do you think you"re going to fit in with her?

plus I don"t think I"ve ever met someone that"s that busy and even if she were that busy and wanted to see you. She would make time.

/shrug one person begging to hang out and the other turning down everything. Way too much work for me. I would"ve moved on a couple weeks ago.
 
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