Girls who broke your heart thread

Personally I"d rather date someone who has shit going on in their lives than someone who wants to spend every evening together. Again, with the last Anne she was genuinely interested but we weren"t able to sync up our schedules more than every couple weeks, because I"ve got shit on the go as well as her.

If she doesn"t find some time next week, then yeah absolutely she"s not even trying to, but the past week or two she"s been gone every weekend, will be again this weekend (by my count she"s been out of town 5 of the last 6 weekends counting the one upcoming, if not all of them), and had a friend from England making a whirlwind 5 day visit. It"s understandable she"s been busy.

It"s like you guys have never dated someone with hobbies and social lives before. I myself might only have one or two nights a week open, and if it"s the same for the other party the chances of those lining up more than once every week or two are slim. As it turned out it"s probably for the best she couldn"t come out Thursday as I"d forgotten I have a hockey game that night anyway. And I was planning on hitting up Banff/Calgary this weekend as well. It"s not like either of us is sitting at home watching TV waiting for the phone to ring.

Eomer said:

Personally I"d rather date someone who has shit going on in their lives than someone who wants to spend every evening together. Again, with the last Anne she was genuinely interested but we weren"t able to sync up our schedules more than every couple weeks, because I"ve got shit on the go as well as her.

If she doesn"t find some time next week, then yeah absolutely she"s not even trying to, but the past week or two she"s been gone every weekend, will be again this weekend (by my count she"s been out of town 5 of the last 6 weekends counting the one upcoming, if not all of them), and had a friend from England making a whirlwind 5 day visit. It"s understandable she"s been busy.

It"s like you guys have never dated someone with hobbies and social lives before. I myself might only have one or two nights a week open, and if it"s the same for the other party the chances of those lining up more than once every week or two are slim. As it turned out it"s probably for the best she couldn"t come out Thursday as I"d forgotten I have a hockey game that night anyway. And I was planning on hitting up Banff/Calgary this weekend as well. It"s not like either of us is sitting at home watching TV waiting for the phone to ring.

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I"m in a relationship right now and we see each other every weekend + a night (sometime 2) in the week. We both have hobbies and shit that we must do during the week. The important part is being flexible and making the time to do it. Scheduling "hockey games" and "hitting up x shit" in place of talking to the other person to arrange something just shows that neither of you are really that interested and would rather do other shit.

I work 4 evenings (3-11, 1-9) and 1 day shift (7am-3pm) and I have Tuesdays and Wednesdays off work.

Obviously I"ve experienced schedules not syncing up well before.

The problem is, if you BARELY have time for a relationship and the other person BARELY has time for a relationship as well, the chance of those 2 times coinciding and syncing up perfectly is slim to none.

Solution: Clear "some" time on your calander if dating is at all important to you, and hopefully the other person will do something similiar.

You say "you"ve never dated someone with hobbies or a social life" before... But hobbies don"t require CONSTANT time commitment (WoW, or your cars, or watching your favorite sports team can be done time-shifted), and your "social life" time can start to include the new girl you"ve been dating... Have you not ever heard of guys "disappearing" to be with a new girl?

Eomer said:

It"s like you guys have never dated someone with hobbies and social lives before. I myself might only have one or two nights a week open, and if it"s the same for the other party the chances of those lining up more than once every week or two are slim. As it turned out it"s probably for the best she couldn"t come out Thursday as I"d forgotten I have a hockey game that night anyway. And I was planning on hitting up Banff/Calgary this weekend as well. It"s not like either of us is sitting at home watching TV waiting for the phone to ring.

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Well you see, generally. When you"re in a relationship .. or hell even interested in someone, you make time to see them. I guess I"ll use one of my hobbies as an example. I could, ask the girl I"m seeing if she"d like to come watch us play football for a bit and then go get some food after?
Or if she"d like to go running with me. You know, include her in the things I do.

You don"t have to have two extremes.

She probably doesn"t look like a super model so I could see why he"s not putting forth any effort into making something happen. Then again Eomer may truly be too busy to date anyone (going off this thread - yeah right), so keep the palm warm, buddy! It"s good loving too.

My girlfriend used to work 70-80 hours a week and still managed to see me 2-3 times a week. She currently works about 60 hours a week and travels 75 minutes one way to see me 2 times a week. That"s 2 1/2 hours round trip, + 60 hours a week of work. She works so late that she arrives at 1am and I get 6 hours of sleep those nights (I *NEED* 9hrs or my day sucks). I"m going up to see her this weekend at 11pm when she gets off work, and I"m gonna sacrifice my one day to sleep in to get up early so we can hang out in the morning before she"s gotta work.

Obviously we"ve been together a lot so the sacrifice is more warranted, but the point is, when you want to see someone, you make time.

She is turning you down and not offering alternatives. Yes, she may be legitimately busy, but if she really wanted to hang out with you, by offer #2 that she had to turn down due to schedule conflict, she would have made a counter offer (e.g. "how about Tuesday instead?"). My policy is that if she turns down a 2nd date plan without making a counter offer, I"m not asking anymore.

Girls that seem at least a little interested but make no effort to fit you into your schedule have put you in the "backup plan" zone. Maybe not the friend zone, but still a worthless place to be.

Remember what Tarrant said to get his girlfriend locked in from day 1? She canceled on him for the first date, and despite having an apparently legit reason, he told her he wasn"t interested in seeing her anymore because he doesn"t like when people cancel. He ripped the power right out of her hands and she begged him to reconsider. She probably fucking loved that he had the balls to say that. Shit I was impressed by it.

No disrespect, but I can"t picture an Eomer post that says you had a date cancel on you and you told her you weren"t gonna see her again because of it. But that"s the mindset you gotta be in.

Not to mention girls love to cancel on girl"s night out for a date. Girls are very much bros before hos more than dudes. No chick is too busy to not find three hours to hang out.


Also I remember Tarrant doing that and I admired his balls because I knew how much he liked the chick. Girls love it when you don"t put up with their shit.

Eomer, if she"s that "busy" she"s seeing someone else. I"ve seen it before. Move on.

This is the part where Eomer gets all defensive after he posted his story on the internet and people shared their opinions.

Maybe it wont happen this time.

If by "getting defensive" you mean "putting things in their proper context and perspective" then sure. But fuck it, what"s the point? It"s much more fun to just take the negative view on absolutely everything right?

Thinking realistically != taking the negative view on absolutely everything.

I don"t disagree with you on that, however some of the shit that"s been written in a few of the posts above flies in the face of what I"ve posted. But I better not respond to any of it because that"s just me being defensive right?

A small sample:

Dabamf said:

She is turning you down andnot offering alternatives.Yes, she may be legitimately busy, but if she really wanted to hang out with you, by offer #2 that she had to turn down due to schedule conflict, she would have made a counter offer(e.g. "how about Tuesday instead?").

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I had already posted:

Eomer said:

she laughed as well and swore that she wasn"t lying...and that maybe we could do something next week instead

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Yeah yeah yeah, no specific date was given, but in the conversation I steered it away from talking about dates because I wasn"t sure which worked for me, hence why I said we"d talk Sunday and see if something works for both then. If not, absolutely agreed, not much point trying any further.

But yeah, sorry, I"ll stop getting all "defensive" on you guys. Please continue telling me why if a girl doesn"t immediately start riding my nuts after the first date why I should drop her post-haste.

LOL.

Eomer is like the less sad version of brad.

They both suffer from the exact same problem, its just that Eomer always had money.

Etoille said:

LOL.

Eomer is like the less sad version of brad.

They both suffer from the exact same problem, its just that Eomer always had money.

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As I"ve pointed out in the past, the fact that that is not enough is really a strong tell about Eomer in real life, not in a flattering sense, he"s relatively good-looking to boot.

I"m not a handsome guy, but am well-off and well-known(where I live) and I get far MORE attention from woman than I generally want. Which as I"ve told him before in the past, says to me that he is somehow creeping them out, which is what he should be working on.

Etoille and Darus, no need to personally insult the guy if you don"t agree with what he"s doing. Etoille I know that"s your MO here, wait for brad or eomer to post then attack them, then buy more diamonds and eat a McGriddle, but darus I don"t recall that being yours.

Be constructive or stfu imo.

(I won"t say I haven"t slung a few shots at brad and probably eomer before, but it"s usually out of frustration and after trying to be constructive and having it fall on deaf ears)

Darus Grey said:

As I"ve pointed out in the past, the fact that that is not enough is really a strong tell about Eomer in real life, not in a flattering sense, he"s relatively good-looking to boot.

I"m not a handsome guy, but am well-off and well-known(where I live) and I get far MORE attention from woman than I generally want. Which as I"ve told him before in the past, says to me that he is somehow creeping them out, which is what he should be working on.

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Girls can tell when guys are cripplingly socially impaired.

90% of girls worth dating (read: non insane) would rather date a fat, balding, ugly, funny, competent, confident, and socially competent man than a hot, insecure, game playing, show boating, rich guy.