Girls who broke your heart thread

Sutekh said:

I think the real question is.. Why the fuck are you still hanging around this girl?

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Seriously, cut the cord already.

Phoenix said:

I assume you have tried to engaged her in said activities?

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Well like I said, I had to get going so only half :/. Exchanged a few texts with her as follows:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Me: So when do you want to check out that new wine bar?

Her: Well I may be free thurs, but the rest of the week I"m busy...

Me: Thursday could work, if not there"s plenty of summer left

Her: I"ll let ya know ;-)

Her: Hey I don"t think tomorrow night will work for the wine bar, so I"ll keep in touch and we will do it soon

Me: No worries, let me know when it does work or if you want to drop by for another J. I promise I won"t kick you out next time!

Her: Okay, sounds like a plan... have a good week

We"ll see!

I guess my real question is... How would you all go about letting her know that you love her, enjoy being with her, but you"re just not ready to commit in that way just yet.

I mean, I would like to preserve our friendship/attraction for each other, but if I can"t... (obviously, too bad).

Vim said:

I guess my real question is... How would you all go about letting her know that you love her, enjoy being with her, but you"re just not ready to commit in that way just yet.

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Tell her



That"ll be $100

Actually, the girl I wrote about within this thread is right now infront of me cooking breakfast. Every now and then she looks over my shoulder what I am reading/writing. She laughs about some of the stories here and nods when reading my replies. I once asked her why she is not offended by the advice I give.. and she told me because I am prolly right.

But I dont let her read the stuff about her ofc =)

Jesus christ.

I never really dealt with crazy till this last week. Im a fucking hopeless romantic pussy and this girl seemed pretty perfect (lol) but eventually she started to just belittle me for no reason, but when i would get upset over it should would say to stop being rude in her house and shit.

she also talked about these stories of girls attacking her and her having to get restraining orders against them. I was spoused to go to warped tour today with her but i said i cant and we shouldnt talk anymore. she flipped out and belitted me more. holy shit shes good at that.

I find out from my friends after the fact, its girls who have the orders against her crazy ass. one of my friends had to change his number it got so bad. i averted a fucking disaster god damn.

I would fucking kill my self if i had to deal with someone like that for more then a week


Edit: at least i got some sex wish i had some foh tits to show but nope.

Eomer said:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Me: So when do you want to check out that new wine bar?

Her: Well I may be free thurs, but the rest of the week I"m busy...

Me: Thursday could work, if not there"s plenty of summer left

Her: I"ll let ya know ;-)

Her: Hey I don"t think tomorrow night will work for the wine bar, so I"ll keep in touch and we will do it soon

Me: No worries, let me know when it does work or if you want to drop by for another J. I promise I won"t kick you out next time!

Her: Okay, sounds like a plan... have a good week

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Even without reading the back story, she wasn"t super excited before this txt, and she"s even less so now. You were a little needy with your "hey, no worries, let me know when you are available!" line. If she really wanted to goto the wine bar with you, she would have easily found some time to squeeze it in. Like, "oh I can go thurs, but not until X o"clock and only for an hour or two, is that ok?""

Or, if she was truly unbelievably busy the ENTIRE week, she would have contacted you once she found a day that was free, without you having to tell her that. Better to have just been like "Ah, that"s too bad, I think you would have had fun." after she said thursday was no good. Even better, if this is a new trendy spot of some kind, see if any of your friends want to check it out, and tell her something like "if you change your mind, gonna be there on <whatever day> with a few people". Shows you"ve got things going on whether she"s involved or not. People subconsciously hate missing out on things they perceive to be events. Granted, you"d rather have a private date with her, but if she wasn"t biting on that, might need a more comfortable group setting to work "yo magic" some more.

That chick wants Eomer bad. She is busy.

No, I actually just read the last post where he was talking about her. She"s either being A) passive aggressive cause he didn"t put any moves on her
or
B) she"s just horny when she smokes.

She can be busy, that"s fine, but the way she wrote her responses was like a blow off. Not an "omg, I really wish I had some time this week! I really do wanna go check it out with you!" vibe.

Do you know about their past? Just wait until more unfolds.

Fuck man! So i am recently divorced because my wife fucked a bunch of guys while i was on deployment, and then a few more when i got home. Now i am trying to ease back into the dating scene. (which i hate with a passion)

So i meet Girl#1. We hit it off, shes smoking hot, and really cool. Turns out we have a ton in common on an almost scary level. When we were younger we lived on the same street at the same time and didnt know it, I was stationed with her sister in the military, then we both moved across country at the same time and ended up working at the same place, weird. Anyways we hit it off and go out once. It was fun, but after that she stops talking to me and blows me off a half dozen times until i tell her to fuck off. Case closed right?

Then i meet Girl#2. Super cool. a "guys girl". We hang out and hit it off. I get a hand job 1 or 2 times. Then the bomb drops. 1 date i pick her up and BAM out comes the cell phone. Talks on that shit the whole time WTF? Atleast she jerked me off right? Then i get "my ex just got out of jail and he wants to kill me" then i get "i want to have 5 babies RIGHT NOW" then i get "when we move in together we are going to have very different tastes in decorating" Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! Put a stop to that and now she hates me, whatever.

Then, months later out of the fucking blue, GIRL #1 calls me up and invites me to her house for dinner with her family. I agree as i never pass up free food. We hit it off, again. Start dating a bit, finally land a kiss, and we kind of make things official. Well, turns out shes never had a BF or done ANYTHING with anyone. WTF? Guess she got hurt by some guy once and has been jaded her whole life. Now that things got semi serious, i guess it scared her off again, and shes now back to blowing me off a bunch of times. We hang out and she barely talks to me. I guess she gets nervous, because she just starts talking mad shit on me out of nowhere every time. Fucking garbage.

Now out of nowhere my ex wife starts sending me text message saying she misses me and sending me naked pics and what not.

I think im just going to cut off my dick and sack so im not tempted to associate with females anymore. This shit is fucking retarded.

So what is the appropriate response when you support someone for 4 years on the expectation that you"re going to spend your lives together, you start having problems, go to therapy, and then she leaves you for another guy she talks to on the phone every night? Who she has phone sex with, moaning loud enough for you to hear? On a phone you"re still paying for, in an apartment you"re paying for because she has nowhere else to go? Till December anyway, which is apparently when they move in together, because he"s moving out here.

Won"t kick her out. So far my response is being in near constant emotional pain. Her response to that is "You never smile anymore" and "You always look so miserable."

I concede there is a ton of backstory, which frankly neither of us look very good in, but we loved each other, and honestly we were doing better with the therapy. Working through things. I don"t understand how I got from there to here.

Sadly in the above scenario both the guy and the girl in question read this forum. I don"t have a lot (any) friends in real life so I"ve really wanted to post asking for advice, because this is more then just a random internet forum to me and even a "that sucks" would be great to hear, but until tonight I was worried about them reading it and feeling bad. Still am, really, but I"m just... just can"t handle this anymore.

What I wanna know is what the hell kinda logic is going through your mind when you try to justify to yourself to let her still live with you. Is it because you need her paychecks to make rent and food? You can"t kick her out because both your names are on the lease? The "think of the children" excuse if you"ve got kids? or what.

Aulirophile said:

So what is the appropriate response [...]

Won"t kick her out.

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This is where you"re going wrong.

Hannibal said:

What I wanna know is what the hell kinda logic is going through your mind when you try to justify to yourself to let her still live with you. Is it because you need her paychecks to make rent and food? You can"t kick her out because both your names are on the lease? The "think of the children" excuse if you"ve got kids? or what.

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No, I pay for everything. Both our names actually are on the lease, but that isn"t what is stopping me. No kids.

She just literally doesn"t have any place to go. We only own one car (not even paid off yet), and she has almost no money that is hers. She has been looking for a job in the city we moved to for almost a year and a half with no luck, which is really the city"s fault, anywhere else in the country she could get a job easy. But this is where I had to be, so she is here with me. She let me move her halfway across the country to be with me, I can"t just put her on the street.

I know, I feel like a sucker, but I can"t stop taking care of this girl. I love her, and I guess I"m just not the sort of person who can leave someone they love in the lurch. Which contributed to our break up now that I think about it. My Mother has pretty severe heart problems and my Brother has a brain injury, is blind in one eye, deaf in one ear, and one of his legs is paralyzed from the knee down. I"ve been living on the other side of the country till last year, and my Mother has been living up at her cabin (long story). They used to plow the road, she didn"t tell me they"d stopped (California budget cuts), so this 60+ year old woman with heart problems was having to dig herself out to get food, and if she"d had any kind of emergency... well, suffice to say my sisters, who both live in California, thought she was going to die up there. And they didn"t help her. They are both inhuman monsters, incidentally. One was a head cheerleader in high school, that pretty much sums her up. But, of course, once I moved out here I went to visit my Mom and found out about this. My fiancee and I, jointly!, invited her to stay with us till the snow melted when winter started.

My fiancee feels, and I can"t really disagree with her, like the apartment we moved into isn"t really "Home" with my Mom here. My Mom has been very pleasant, it isn"t her fault, but is it just psychological: people in our space bothers us, we"ve both always been like this. Now, the snow has melted, so she should be gone, and there is a very good reason she isn"t (besides the obvious health issues). A reason my ex-fiancee agreed with.

That was actually one of the big things we working on in therapy, dealing with my Mom having to live with us.

Its funny, I get the feeling every time I post explaining one thing, I"m going to have to post explaining something else. Like I said, there is a ton of backstory, been together six years almost, and neither of us look all that great if you look at the whole thing. I just need to find a way to deal with what is going on right now.

I"m going to work on the assumption that she is there to stay until the new boy friend moves her out. Knowing nothing else about what"s happened in the past, this girl needs to be told to knock off the sex talk while you are home. That"s beyond disgusting, it has to be deliberate. Maybe its time you use some of those communication skills you were learning in therapy and tell her that the sexing stops or she has to find a new place? Common courtesy is owed at the least since she is on a free ride, no?

I can understand why you feel responsible for her since she came with you across country and your mom living with you along with sibling drama would be difficult for her to handle. But this cunt stunt of phone sexing other men under your roof with your phone is way outta line, the debt (following you cross country bla bla etc.) is paid as far as I"m concerned.

I"m sure you still love her but she could give less than a shit about you, her actions have proven this and as soon as December comes around she"s gone. By that time she would have been phone fucking and mooching off you for an additional six more months. This obligation you feel you owe her would have been paid to full many times over.

She"s currently unemployed right? well that"s the problem with being unemployed in the state of the guy she"s currently phone fucking? Give her some cash, buy her airfare as a goodbye present and send her on her merry way to wherever this other dude lives, I mean they"re gonna move in anyway why not start 6 months earlier.

Latest news: planning to move in with Annie soon (or somewhat soon). Both our places are too small for two people, so I"ll rent out my apartment (bought that two years ago, thought I might need it for longer... ah well, whatever).

Staying in the same city, just going to have something with an extra room or two. Two is probably the smarter choice. In two years or so, we"ll move out to where her parents live, will have to do some work on their house but it shouldn"t be too expensive (I"m poor, remember). Attempts at reproduction will be made somewhere in the next 24 months.

Shit"s boring heh. Though I couldn"t be happier.