Girls who broke your heart thread

Ronaan

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Aria said:
So as of last night I am engaged.

I went to the Newport Cliffwalk in Newport, RI. If you"ve never been and are in the area, it is totally awesome and worth checking out. It was significant to us because it was one of our first real dates, and we"ve been back on milestones for us to hang out. I found a nice spot when there weren"t 20 million people walking by and proposed to her there, she said yes. She was super excited, so it made me feel pretty good.

I originally asked for advice here on how to ask her out on a date, and here I am now engaged to her. Thanks to all of those who have helped me
Well done, congratulations.

Trying to think of a way to find out my lady"s ring size without her noticing...

We were joking around a bit some weeks ago and when it came to a [ring] she said "Well you can buy me a ring np, just don"t attach any [questions] to it."

Deep inside she wants to be asked [the question] though. I can feel it.

I"m still inclined to go the "do it at christmas dinner with her family" route, that way she can hardly say "no", amirite?
 

Divinefactor_foh

shitlord
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Ronaan said:
Well done, congratulations.

Trying to think of a way to find out my lady"s ring size without her noticing...

We were joking around a bit some weeks ago and when it came to a [ring] she said "Well you can buy me a ring np, just don"t attach any [questions] to it."

Deep inside she wants to be asked [the question] though. I can feel it.

I"m still inclined to go the "do it at christmas dinner with her family" route, that way she can hardly say "no", amirite?
Obvious troll is obvious!
 

Brad2770

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I always wear some sort of chain around my neck, so after asking her dad"s permission, I put the ring I bought my ex on my chain. I was going to wear it around my neck for as long as it took her to notice the ring and as soon as she noticed, that"s where I was going to ask her to marry me, no matter the place.

I pulled into her driveway, put the ring on my chain, walked into the house and she gave me a hug. When she kind of pulled back, she was like "Is that ring for me and are you going to ask me to marry you?"

What the fuck?! I had this awesome idea and she wrecked it....
 

Tarrant

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[LVC]DeGrassi said:
Tell me you asked her dads permission first ? Always thought that was kinda a cool thing to do. Well unless her dad is dead .. then your off the hook.
Thats how I did it, her dad thought it was really cool.
 

Divinefactor_foh

shitlord
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Ronaan, if indeed you are not trolling (double trolling at this point)... you are thinking like a woman...

how can i trap her to make her say yes?

This is similar to a chick not taking the pill or poking pin holes into her diaphragm/condoms.

MAN CARD, DO YOU HAVE ONE?
 

Divinefactor_foh

shitlord
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As for Tarrant, asking the father is always classy, you my friend are so classy you could move to San Diego, the whales vagina.

Brad, love the idea, too bad it was in such an obvious spot for a woman to find, next likely spot for her to find it would also be in your wallet. Normally I would suggest placing it near the penis region... not a personal dig here, just playing into the stereotype of marriage being the no sex land.
 

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
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Ronaan said:
Well done, congratulations.

Trying to think of a way to find out my lady"s ring size without her noticing...

We were joking around a bit some weeks ago and when it came to a [ring] she said "Well you can buy me a ring np, just don"t attach any [questions] to it."

Deep inside she wants to be asked [the question] though. I can feel it.

I"m still inclined to go the "do it at christmas dinner with her family" route, that way she can hardly say "no", amirite?
So many things wrong with this post.

But I totally support your decisions(!) on the condition that you post about the trainwreck after it happens.
 

Aulirophile_foh

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[LVC]DeGrassi said:
Tell me you asked her dads permission first ? Always thought that was kinda a cool thing to do. Well unless her dad is dead .. then your off the hook.
Before I asked my ex-fiancee to marry me, I asked her Dad"s permission. It worked out really well because one of her sisters had also gotten engaged recently, and the guy hadn"t asked permission.
 

Tarrant

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Aulirophile said:
Before I asked my ex-fiancee to marry me, I asked her Dad"s permission. It worked out really well because one of her sisters had also gotten engaged recently, and the guy hadn"t asked permission.
Yeah you score some pretty good brownie points for sure by doing it that way. I mean come on, we all know even if he woulda said "FUCK NO" we would have asked anyways. I took the guy out for dinner and I asked and I showed him the ring and we talked for a good couple hours. I found out a lot about the family and my fiancee as well that I didn"t know before. Really glad I went that route.
 

Needless

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not heartbroken, however i have a question for some people, perhaps melia specifically.

Any of you familiar with a INFJ personality? 8 months later my girlfriend finally tells me why she withdraws once in awhile and links me this article. Keep in mind when she "withdrawls" apparently she just wants time for herself, she doesnt do anything shady behind my back or anything, which i wouldnt expect anyway

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Introverted iNtuiting Feeling Judging
by Marina Margaret Heiss

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.
INFJ Profile
In the past when shes done this, i"ve taken it personally.. no word why or an extreme lack of communication tends to make you guess whats going on right? especially when it goes from lovey dovey one day to nadda half an hour later for the next couple days or so. This sort of thing gives me an understanding to why she acts this way.. but would it still be considered a "red flag"?.
 

Tarrant

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Odd you should link this, we went though our last session of marriage counseling last night and our therapist was telling us of a couple where the wife does this, where she takes time away for some of the day at times and goes off by herself, letting her husband know she needs time to be away from him and just be alone.

Apparently it"s a way for people like that to re energize themselves for things be it a relationship, an activity or just normal every day stuff in general and they were working on the husband who like you, was taking offense to it. Reasons for is are wide spread, in this ladies case her and her family weren"t super close so she was raised in a family where she could go off on her own and reflect, relax and re energize. When her and her husband first got together she was first described as how your girl friend seems to be, she was distant, aloft and withdrawn, then she started going out for a few hours a day be it to grab a coffee at starbucks and read a book or go shopping or a walk and things got better, but he still took offense to it....hence why they were in counseling.

Anyways tl;dr as long as she isn"t doing anything suspect and your relationship is good, I wouldn"t really be all that worried.
 

Brad2770

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That article might explain a few things about the current chick I am seeing. More detail when I get back home later.

EDIT
I thought I had posted the specifics here, thats why i said I would get into detail later (I didnt have time to look before), but I guess i didnt.

There are times that Julie kind of disappears for a day or 2 with no response and then calls me and says she feels better after having a day or 2 alone. If I didnt have a friend that did this kind of stuff (He can go for months without human interaction), I would think she was being shady...
 

Aulirophile_foh

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You can pretty much stop at the "I" in the Myers-Briggs spectrum and people will be like that. Introverts need to be alone to recharge, even from spending time with people they really care about. Best advice if you marry a girl like that: get her a room (not the kitchen :p) that is just hers and stay out of it. She can go in there whenever she wants and promise you"ll never bother her while she"s in there (barring some life-threatening emergency etc). It doesn"t even really need to be a room, hammock in the backyard? Works great. Just the policy of "If I"m here, I don"t need to worry about being bothered" is huge for people like that. Going out sadly doesn"t always work, because you inevitably start running into people you know and an introvert who is trying to recharge and runs into someone they know can experience real panic which is decidedly not helpful with the recharging.
 

Needless

Toe Sucker
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Tarrant220 said:
Odd you should link this, we went though our last session of marriage counseling last night and our therapist was telling us of a couple where the wife does this, where she takes time away for some of the day at times and goes off by herself, letting her husband know she needs time to be away from him and just be alone.

Apparently it"s a way for people like that to re energize themselves for things be it a relationship, an activity or just normal every day stuff in general and they were working on the husband who like you, was taking offense to it. Reasons for is are wide spread, in this ladies case her and her family weren"t super close so she was raised in a family where she could go off on her own and reflect, relax and re energize. When her and her husband first got together she was first described as how your girl friend seems to be, she was distant, aloft and withdrawn, then she started going out for a few hours a day be it to grab a coffee at starbucks and read a book or go shopping or a walk and things got better, but he still took offense to it....hence why they were in counseling.

Anyways tl;dr as long as she isn"t doing anything suspect and your relationship is good, I wouldn"t really be all that worried.
Yeah thats kind of a situation that she seems to go through, i"m hoping now that i"m aware of this personality she has i can understand it and not take it personally anymore. I know I tend to rely a bit too much on her for socialization which will help both of us out if i stop doing that as well.

Aulirophile said:
You can pretty much stop at the "I" in the Myers-Briggs spectrum and people will be like that. Introverts need to be alone to recharge, even from spending time with people they really care about. Best advice if you marry a girl like that: get her a room (not the kitchen :p) that is just hers and stay out of it. She can go in there whenever she wants and promise you"ll never bother her while she"s in there (barring some life-threatening emergency etc). It doesn"t even really need to be a room, hammock in the backyard? Works great. Just the policy of "If I"m here, I don"t need to worry about being bothered" is huge for people like that. Going out sadly doesn"t always work, because you inevitably start running into people you know and an introvert who is trying to recharge and runs into someone they know can experience real panic which is decidedly not helpful with the recharging.
thats actually some really good advice, I appreciate that. Any recommendation on a non married case? maybe something similiar but in a case where we don"t physically live together? I figure that should be enough. I"ve brought it to her attention since i found this out earlier today that if she does indeed need some time to recharge, just let me know and i"ll put the phone away or whatever she wants until shes okay again but something a little more concrete would be helpful
 

Jorren

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When I was with my Ex, she used to pounce on me to talk about the day once I got home from work. I would get really irritable and snippy with her. After a while I asked her to give me about an hour after I get home to recharge. Worked like magic. She would hang out in the living room and I would go surf message boards for a bit in another room.

I think you are on the right track though. Now that you are aware of it, and if she gives you the heads up when she needs time, it is just a matter of adjusting to it.
 

Koivu_foh

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Needless said:
thats actually some really good advice, I appreciate that. Any recommendation on a non married case? maybe something similiar but in a case where we don"t physically live together? I figure that should be enough. I"ve brought it to her attention since i found this out earlier today that if she does indeed need some time to recharge, just let me know and i"ll put the phone away or whatever she wants until shes okay again but something a little more concrete would be helpful
You could just say that you understands she needs some alone time and that she should feel comfortable in just sending a text or calling stating so. Worked for me and my husband when we were dating. These days I just grunt "I"m reading" and he goes away to do his own stuff, leaving me to my own devices.
 

Cutlery

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Similar shit here. It"s mostly the reason I work overnights, so I"ve got a solid 6 hours to myself every single day before people start bothering me and pissing on my parade.

I don"t know if you can really qualify it as some kind of bullshit fake syndrome though. That"s just going along with the need to classify everything as a medical problem. People just need alone time. I"m pretty sure the people who don"t are the exceptions, not the norm.
 

Aulirophile_foh

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Needless said:
thats actually some really good advice, I appreciate that. Any recommendation on a non married case? maybe something similiar but in a case where we don"t physically live together? I figure that should be enough. I"ve brought it to her attention since i found this out earlier today that if she does indeed need some time to recharge, just let me know and i"ll put the phone away or whatever she wants until shes okay again but something a little more concrete would be helpful
Well, presumably that means she has her own place, so really the only key is communication. Her calling or texting that she wants to be alone to recharge. Or just encourage her to turn off her phone. I know a lot of people, particularly girls, feel like they"re being rude if their phone is off for some reason. That way if you call and she doesn"t pick up, most of the time you can safely assume she just needs to be alone. Leave a message and she should call you back when she"s ship shape again.