Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
- Start date
I disagree. I know quite some people that need to be around people all the time or they go crazy. Also... there is a difference to simple "alone time". For example, if I see people one or two days in a row to hang out... I need the same amount of me-time or I get quite annoying. I suddenly just start to dislike the people around me and feel a need to display that dislike.TheCutlery said:
Work also gives me high online time, because seeing people 8 hours at work already begins to trigger that feeling. When I get home I usually dont want to see other people.
So yea, I disagree.
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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12 gauge dragonsbreath would have left a ROARING good time + a better show for the kids. Maybe even a BBQ after!
True introverts derive stimulation from within. Being around other people causes them to become overstimulated, which causes anxiety. So it"s actually not that they need time to recharge, they actually need the time to de-stress, get back to some semblance of balance.
Conversely, extroverts derive stimulation from external events, like other people, or exciting situations, or shiny, pretty colors... (just kidding [not really]). Without them, they become understimulated, which can lead to boredom, loneliness or even depression.
Conversely, extroverts derive stimulation from external events, like other people, or exciting situations, or shiny, pretty colors... (just kidding [not really]). Without them, they become understimulated, which can lead to boredom, loneliness or even depression.
That kind of still sounds like recharging to me.Mist said:
Anyway, I think regardless of what category your lady friends fall under, they all will need this at some point. Some more than others (and some even more extreme). I personally don"t verbalize my need for "me time" or "recharging", as I"d be worried it could come off as "I need time away from you" and that is never the case. I wouldn"t want to risk it being misunderstood so I just find something to do and that"s that! I think it"s a part of being a human, not a woman, introvert, whatever. When you find yourself being a dick and snapping at someone for no reason...go recharge.
My me time is usually doing something productive (not always), I"ve found a new joy in cleaning the pool (and firing the worthless pool guy). It"s nice to start before everyone is awake and be finishing right as they start getting up. I also like the Starbucks trips, going to Barnes and Noble, and of course, shopping.
She"s totally sleeping with another guy. How am I the first to say this?
Just kidding. Thread feels unusual without that conclusion under any circumstance.
I"ll echo what everyone else said. Introverts (and there are varying degrees) require alone time, and most importantly, require noexpectationfrom other people. Something like "ok I know you need your time, but will you be able to hang out in 3 hours?" completely ruins the destressing factor. If you can avoid that, the important thing is just for her to communicate to you when she needs time. If she fails to do that, that"s where you gotta put some pressure on her to be more communicative. I"m moderately introverted and require the same alone time. People like that feel somewhat suffocated when they are around people for prolonged periods of time, even good friends whom they feel at ease around. Extroverts interpret it as being an asshole or just being weird if they don"t understand different personalities. On the other hand, introverts often interpret extroverts as needy and overly reliant on other people (i.e. somewhat pathetic). Both types need to be aware of the differences.
You are certainly gonna take it personally at first, especially if you are heavily extroverted. That"s just a natural response to someone saying "I don"t want to see you." Just remind yourself it"snotpersonal, and you"ll get used to it soon enough.
Just kidding. Thread feels unusual without that conclusion under any circumstance.
I"ll echo what everyone else said. Introverts (and there are varying degrees) require alone time, and most importantly, require noexpectationfrom other people. Something like "ok I know you need your time, but will you be able to hang out in 3 hours?" completely ruins the destressing factor. If you can avoid that, the important thing is just for her to communicate to you when she needs time. If she fails to do that, that"s where you gotta put some pressure on her to be more communicative. I"m moderately introverted and require the same alone time. People like that feel somewhat suffocated when they are around people for prolonged periods of time, even good friends whom they feel at ease around. Extroverts interpret it as being an asshole or just being weird if they don"t understand different personalities. On the other hand, introverts often interpret extroverts as needy and overly reliant on other people (i.e. somewhat pathetic). Both types need to be aware of the differences.
You are certainly gonna take it personally at first, especially if you are heavily extroverted. That"s just a natural response to someone saying "I don"t want to see you." Just remind yourself it"snotpersonal, and you"ll get used to it soon enough.
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Needless
Toe Sucker
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related to my previous post, I"m trying to find something to do during the evenings, i"m currently considering a 2nd job as one of my higher options as it"ll give me more money and i"ll meet some new people.. i haven"t really reconnected to anybody since i moved back to this city, either that or possibly take some later classes. Any suggestions on some indoors evening/night time hobbies though? My only real hobby is photography, i consider gaming to be a filler now adays which is far too frequent and less appealing lately.
I currently do web development from home, so my social interaction is next to nothing, which is why a more social possible retail job or something during the evenings maybe a good idea?
I currently do web development from home, so my social interaction is next to nothing, which is why a more social possible retail job or something during the evenings maybe a good idea?
Ronaan
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You guys are probably right... I shouldn"t ask her in front of everyone unless I"m 100% sure she"s waiting for it.The Ancient said:
I"ll probably try for a lonely moment under the tree in their yard.
If she says no, it"s a great place to hide the body.
Seriously though, I"m buying that ring, and I"m asking her to marry me, will still have to think about the setting it seems...
Don"t get a part time job to meet people who begrudgingly work there and hate their job and probably their life.Needless said:
Do an activity to meet people. Martial arts, language class, cooking/pottery/whateverthefuck class, one of the 1000 variety of dancing classes available (benefit is women, also), one of the 1000 meetup.com groups in your area. Hiking, rock climbing, rafting, and whatever other category of hobby (I only have experience with adventurous ones, and they have some solid people in them, not at all what you think of when you think "lol online friend finding").
Most importantly is do something that you"ll enjoy and you"re not killing time thinking "when can I make friends." Keep busy with activities you enjoy that are reasonably social and the friends will fall into place...conveniently via the activities you enjoy.
Ronaan
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Good idea on the shark fishing thing, not so practical though - not enough shark.Brad2770 said:
It"s been a year and a few weeks (Aug 10 2009). I"m looking at "around christmas" for the question.
Yeah I know, "too soon".
Well I was with the crazy ex for roughly 4.5 years and marrying her never crossed my mind after the initial rush... sooo it"s better this time. The desire actually gets stronger as time goes by.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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That"s actually a really good idea, but you likely wouldn"t even need to start it. Many decent sized cities have various recreational sports leagues that play things like dodgeball, ultimate frisbee etc. Example:Edmonton Sport and Social Club | Co-ed Recreational Sports Leagues | Edmonton Sports ClubsZehn - Vhex said:
You can form your own teams, or join the "singles" teams they put together. It"s pretty good fun, good exercise, and likely a good way to meet new people.
Depends on the job, although for the most part I agree with you. Depending on the establishment and clientelle, some jobs in the service industry could be worthwhile to consider. I"ve honestly considered working as a porter or bartender for my bud on weekends just for the fun of it, but I don"t have the time.Dabamf said:
Still hadn"t heard from her by Friday. Now keep in mind I hadn"t been contacting her since the initial phone call. She"d texted me two or three times saying "I"m busy, but I"ll call you soon!" unprompted. But as it turns out, my initial thought when she left Folk Fest and mentioned "plans with a friend" turned out to be true. I texted her just before falling asleep on Friday:
Me: So is it fair to say paddle boating is off?
Her (next day): Lol, maybe if the weather didn"t suck! Sorry i"ve been so busy, and I"ll be honest when we met I was figuring things out with a guy and still am, so right now is just a good time for me... *I would assume she meant not*
Me: I figured as much with the plans to see a "friend" at folk fest Truth be told I don"t remember much of that night! Either way, give me a shout if you"re bored as opposed to busy...
Her: lol yeah, I don"t remember a whole lot of that night... it was nice to have met you tho, and ya I"ll give u a shout if I"m bored!
Also went and had some appies and drinks with Xerxes on Saturday afternoon. Without writing a novel, it was at times fun and at times excruciating. She"s fun to hang out with alone, but I dunno, I just do not enjoy her company in public. Either way, not much happened nor is it likely to. I wouldn"t say I"ve been friend zoned per say, but if I want back in those pants I"ll have to date her again, and that"s just something I don"t have any interest in.
Brad2770
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I was not going to bash you about the "Too soon" stuff, just wondering how you know in such a short period of time.Ronaan said:
I knew my ex for 3 years before we started dating. We dated for 6 months before i asked her and then it was another year and 4 months before we got married. Looking back on it, I felt that was too quick.
I just have a hard time understanding the thought process of getting serious enough to do that again. I guess I was hoping you could explain more than just "I just know".
Yeah man, "don"t ask me any questions if you buy me a ring" isn"t a secret code. If you ask her to marry you, she"s gonna dump your ass.Ronaan said:
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Oh man, that has got to suck. 12 months though, that is hardly enough time to be that confident.
Took me 5 years..Did it when it felt right. So far so good. lol. Been together 13 going on 14.Gryeyes said: