Erronius
Macho Ma'am
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Change of topic a bit~
Question: are women shitty at flirting all across the nation as a whole, or is it just where I"m living?
For example - I know a number of women here who are attractive and fun to be around, and flirt with anything that has a heartbeat. And, it is important to make clear, this is done with no, 0, intent of taking it beyond garnering attention. I then get to listen to them bitch and moan about how guy #45 managed to "offend" them by crossing the friend threshold into"hey, what are you doing Saturday"immediately after said female walks up, presses her tits into a guy, and says something like "hey, sexy!". So begins one of many battles between"What, can"t I just flirt a little? I flirt with everyone!"and"WTF, you can"t just expect to be able to rub your nipples on random guys and call them "sexy" and then be shocked when they ask you out, and not want to talk to them again afterwords because you now think it"s gotten "creepy" and want to avoid them"
Now to be clear, I"m somewhat oblivious to flirting if it isn"t obvious - I"ve been slapped in the back of the head by friends telling me that chick X was flirting and I missed my chance, when I thought whoever was just making smalltalk while waiting for a drink at a bar, etc. Other places I"ve lived, flirting was pretty much obvious - the "look" was unquestionable, it"s as though there is an entire generation of women in the midwest that think simply stealing a glance at a guy from across a room (and not making eye contact) is enough to qualify as flirting, while others go so overboard they have a literal male harem chasing them (at times, not accidental I"m guessing). Now I don"t expect dick-grabbing and chicks whispering"I want you inside me"5 minutes after meeting you, but something beyond"I smiled at you, what do you mean you were looking the other way?"would be nice.
One woman I know, I had a discussion about with a mutual female friend just recently. The topic - the mutual female friend wanted to know why guys never responded to the other woman"s flirting. That was the first I"d ever even thought of what she does as "flirting", I honestly thought she just moped around with a sad depressed look on her face, watching people and saying nothing. Since the mutual friend disagreed with me when I mentioned that she usually looks like she wants to go cry somewhere, and not flirtatious (and I know I don"t always pick up on the <s>subtle</s> imperceptible flirting) I went and asked the man-group of friends. Who, to a man, all looked surprised at the question and mostly agreed with me, and had no idea that she had ever even flirted with anyone in the first place. Also, most of us felt a bit sad about the whole thing too. The women though seemed to put the blame on the men for not noticing, while the men all felt that looking like a sad puppy =/= flirting.
I don"t understand the flirting here; when women flirt, and you then respond (paying them more attention, asking them about themselves, I"m not talking about grabbing a boob or anything) they then look like they"re suddenly scared. It"s as though there is a lot of women here who flirt not as a"hey I think you"re cute"but more of a"hey, you"re a nice guy and I"ll lead you along, until you respond and then I"ll act like I"ve never met you". That, or maybe there are just a lot of women here who have low self esteem and flirt not because of attraction, but more to get attention and see what they can do (guy~wise).
We talk about this on occasion, and people here treat KC as the worst place to date as though it"s a foregone conclusion. Can"t say that I disagree, but I sometimes wonder if the flirting issue is part of that.
Sperling"s Best Places
Question: are women shitty at flirting all across the nation as a whole, or is it just where I"m living?
For example - I know a number of women here who are attractive and fun to be around, and flirt with anything that has a heartbeat. And, it is important to make clear, this is done with no, 0, intent of taking it beyond garnering attention. I then get to listen to them bitch and moan about how guy #45 managed to "offend" them by crossing the friend threshold into"hey, what are you doing Saturday"immediately after said female walks up, presses her tits into a guy, and says something like "hey, sexy!". So begins one of many battles between"What, can"t I just flirt a little? I flirt with everyone!"and"WTF, you can"t just expect to be able to rub your nipples on random guys and call them "sexy" and then be shocked when they ask you out, and not want to talk to them again afterwords because you now think it"s gotten "creepy" and want to avoid them"
Now to be clear, I"m somewhat oblivious to flirting if it isn"t obvious - I"ve been slapped in the back of the head by friends telling me that chick X was flirting and I missed my chance, when I thought whoever was just making smalltalk while waiting for a drink at a bar, etc. Other places I"ve lived, flirting was pretty much obvious - the "look" was unquestionable, it"s as though there is an entire generation of women in the midwest that think simply stealing a glance at a guy from across a room (and not making eye contact) is enough to qualify as flirting, while others go so overboard they have a literal male harem chasing them (at times, not accidental I"m guessing). Now I don"t expect dick-grabbing and chicks whispering"I want you inside me"5 minutes after meeting you, but something beyond"I smiled at you, what do you mean you were looking the other way?"would be nice.
One woman I know, I had a discussion about with a mutual female friend just recently. The topic - the mutual female friend wanted to know why guys never responded to the other woman"s flirting. That was the first I"d ever even thought of what she does as "flirting", I honestly thought she just moped around with a sad depressed look on her face, watching people and saying nothing. Since the mutual friend disagreed with me when I mentioned that she usually looks like she wants to go cry somewhere, and not flirtatious (and I know I don"t always pick up on the <s>subtle</s> imperceptible flirting) I went and asked the man-group of friends. Who, to a man, all looked surprised at the question and mostly agreed with me, and had no idea that she had ever even flirted with anyone in the first place. Also, most of us felt a bit sad about the whole thing too. The women though seemed to put the blame on the men for not noticing, while the men all felt that looking like a sad puppy =/= flirting.
I don"t understand the flirting here; when women flirt, and you then respond (paying them more attention, asking them about themselves, I"m not talking about grabbing a boob or anything) they then look like they"re suddenly scared. It"s as though there is a lot of women here who flirt not as a"hey I think you"re cute"but more of a"hey, you"re a nice guy and I"ll lead you along, until you respond and then I"ll act like I"ve never met you". That, or maybe there are just a lot of women here who have low self esteem and flirt not because of attraction, but more to get attention and see what they can do (guy~wise).
We talk about this on occasion, and people here treat KC as the worst place to date as though it"s a foregone conclusion. Can"t say that I disagree, but I sometimes wonder if the flirting issue is part of that.
Sperling"s Best Places
Another example, I was visiting peeps out in LA a couple of years ago, and I had a couple women I"d just met actually slide up next to me and start up conversations. I had to put in almost no effort, just be nice and not sound like an idiot. Some seemed thrilled to find out that I wasn"t a local, and seemed happy just to be hanging out. Had a couple nights were I thought to myself, literally"I need to move to LA". Now I"m more than willing to put out effort and be the initiator so to speak, but here it turns into a catch-22: women seems to be defensive and put off by men who make the first move, yet they don"t seem very good at doing it themselves.
