I have to agree with Phoenix here Jx3. I had a friend who was in a situation where the girl would act crazy and break it off, then start tormenting him by saying "I made a mistake let"s get back together." He was kind of an idiot about it and let the cycle continue about 4 times or so. Why the "I feel distant.." in the first place? To me, if a girl does that, and THEN shortly after says "OOPS nm jk" 99% of the time I"ve seen it happen to friends, it"s power trips OR she just feels lonely currently and her wanting to get back with you is purely selfish. What"s to stop her from getting bored / feeling distant once again soon as the honeymoon reunion is over?
Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
- Start date
Prior to the relationship I"m in now, I was with a girl for just a little over a year. She broke up with meseventimes. I"m the fool for taking her back everytime, and it was the same sob story every time: "I"m a fool. I made a mistake. I miss you. I love you. Come back.".Saladus said:
Don"t fall for that kind of shit. Be very, very wary, and definetely don"t expect shit to work out. It"s fine towantit to, but never get complacent andexpectit to. That"s where you"ll get fucked, or atleast, that"s where I got fucked... repeatedly.
ive done the on again-off again thing, stemming from indecision and her unwillingness to move the relationship forward. It was a long distance thing, i basically said "you have to move out here for this to work", she said she would, and three years later i finally realized she wasnt coming. Several times prior to that I would end it, but then she would more or less beg, and i would give in.
its VERY hard to withstand the girl who you love talking all this mushy stuff about getting back together... VERY hard. you can the smartest most well adjusted guy in the world, but once she starts her rap you all of a sudden turn into a retard.
"you"re right, how can something this good just be over like that? we just need to make it work"
so to jx3, she will start saying everything you want to hear. you might have a list of things she needs to realize and own up to, but the problem is, she is going to NAIL that list. My advice is, there is nothing wrong with giving someone another shot. but thats IT. if she doesnt get it after two tries, she is not going to get it.
its VERY hard to withstand the girl who you love talking all this mushy stuff about getting back together... VERY hard. you can the smartest most well adjusted guy in the world, but once she starts her rap you all of a sudden turn into a retard.
"you"re right, how can something this good just be over like that? we just need to make it work"
so to jx3, she will start saying everything you want to hear. you might have a list of things she needs to realize and own up to, but the problem is, she is going to NAIL that list. My advice is, there is nothing wrong with giving someone another shot. but thats IT. if she doesnt get it after two tries, she is not going to get it.
Lithose
Buzzfeed Editor
- 25,946
- 113,035
Well, you should do this no matter (Without the choking, unless she is in to that.)...Make up sex is incredibly amazing, almost as good as mid-argument sex. But as you said, make sure to get your own place if you get back together, especially since you"ll be "trying it out."Jx3 said:
Seven times? Cheesus Christ!
You guys need to include ages of the people in these stories. That"s absurd, honestly. Unless you"re talking about heated fights where it"s "almost over" (someone feels hopeless and throws in the towel before being reassured of WTF ever they need to be), that"s horsepoo.
I did that in like 5th grade when I thought collecting boyfriends was a hobby like it was for garbage pail kids and pogs (hells yeah!!!). If girls seemed to like one more than the current one, I"d grab that one, too. However, I was absolutely repulsed by the idea of having to kiss a boy "with tongue" so I"d break up before I had to (later in 6th grade had the word "freezer" chanted at me for not making out on the spot... FU Matt).
Anyway, my point is that"s juvenile. That doesn"t go to say I haven"t came very close to ending a relationship before (of the grown up variety). I have, but it was during a moment of "I can"t fix this" despair.
Long distance is hell and not for many people. It"s not a big secret that"s what I did and the first year was like torture, it tests every insecurity you have (for women at least). You have no choice but to throw in trust you may not have under normal circumstances. Some people can"t take it, I barely could. But it made me work harder to move, made me try harder to find a job out here, etc. Having that said, I wanted to move here (or anywhere away from where I came from), so I was going regardless of the relationships outcome.
I"ve had friends who did the LTR and cheated, one didn"t just cheat, she maintained two relationships - one at home, one online. I felt bad and eventually snitched her out (I value guy code if the guy was my friend first).
However, I have another friend (she"s on here actually) who"s boyfriend moved to Hawaii, she supported his decision because she knew he may resent her if he didn"t go for the job of his dreams. She couldn"t go due to custody arrangements with her ex. She has remained 150% faithful even during his childish fits, breakups and tantrums. I"ve never met anyone so patient and loyal in my life. He couldn"t take the distance, but I suspect he will soon realize no other woman exists who will put up with the shit he does (he can maintain a 2 week silent treatment, I"m not exaggerating).
Having that said, I"m sure everyone who met her at my BBQ is stoked she"s single!
Anyway, can you clarify this... Are you talking a true leave, pack, walk-out breakup or was it like her being a bitch and just saying it"s over but bluffing? I"m blown away by this seven times thing. That seems unreal.
You guys need to include ages of the people in these stories. That"s absurd, honestly. Unless you"re talking about heated fights where it"s "almost over" (someone feels hopeless and throws in the towel before being reassured of WTF ever they need to be), that"s horsepoo.
I did that in like 5th grade when I thought collecting boyfriends was a hobby like it was for garbage pail kids and pogs (hells yeah!!!). If girls seemed to like one more than the current one, I"d grab that one, too. However, I was absolutely repulsed by the idea of having to kiss a boy "with tongue" so I"d break up before I had to (later in 6th grade had the word "freezer" chanted at me for not making out on the spot... FU Matt).
Anyway, my point is that"s juvenile. That doesn"t go to say I haven"t came very close to ending a relationship before (of the grown up variety). I have, but it was during a moment of "I can"t fix this" despair.
Long distance is hell and not for many people. It"s not a big secret that"s what I did and the first year was like torture, it tests every insecurity you have (for women at least). You have no choice but to throw in trust you may not have under normal circumstances. Some people can"t take it, I barely could. But it made me work harder to move, made me try harder to find a job out here, etc. Having that said, I wanted to move here (or anywhere away from where I came from), so I was going regardless of the relationships outcome.
I"ve had friends who did the LTR and cheated, one didn"t just cheat, she maintained two relationships - one at home, one online. I felt bad and eventually snitched her out (I value guy code if the guy was my friend first).
However, I have another friend (she"s on here actually) who"s boyfriend moved to Hawaii, she supported his decision because she knew he may resent her if he didn"t go for the job of his dreams. She couldn"t go due to custody arrangements with her ex. She has remained 150% faithful even during his childish fits, breakups and tantrums. I"ve never met anyone so patient and loyal in my life. He couldn"t take the distance, but I suspect he will soon realize no other woman exists who will put up with the shit he does (he can maintain a 2 week silent treatment, I"m not exaggerating).
Having that said, I"m sure everyone who met her at my BBQ is stoked she"s single!
Anyway, can you clarify this... Are you talking a true leave, pack, walk-out breakup or was it like her being a bitch and just saying it"s over but bluffing? I"m blown away by this seven times thing. That seems unreal.
Two week "silent treatment" is easy when you don"t care about someone. It"s more like two week "I get to relax".
Zehnpai
Molten Core Raider
- 399
- 1,245
That sucks, he seemed like a really cool guy. Hope it works out for them.Ravvenn said:
I"ve tried 3 LDR"s. One of them you know all the gritty details about. Wasn"t pretty. Other two were pretty much unmitigated disasters as well.
I tend to attract the super crazies though holy shit. Hopefully new girl isn"t that psychotic. Taking her to see a museum exhibit this weekend for a second date. Wish me luck. ^_^
What in the fuck in that town is worth seeing at a museum? Hopefully it"s an artistic creation of tequila shots in a hotel room.
It was very juvenile, no doubt. It was when I was younger. It was full-blown shit too, even had my engagement ring thrown at me the first time. Truth be told, the first two times we broke up, I completely accepted the blame. I was heavily into cocaine at the time, to the exclusion of all else, and when she wanted to get back together with me, my drug-addled mind thought that I was blessed.Ravvenn said:
She was psychotic. I broke it off completely, not her, in the end. My final straw was two things: She first broke up with me, and went off and fucked like five guys in a week. She outright told me this. I didn"t get back together with her, though she thought we were because she told me she loved me and I told her that I loved her too, but wanted nothing to do with her. The second thing was that she then went off the deep end (and that"s being generous) and sandpapered her arms down to the muscle and was promptly checked into a long-term mental institute. The only precursor I had to her being that fucked in the head was that, when she was younger, she had carved into her hip to "see her hip bone".
Boy, I should"ve taken that at face value and ran, but she was book-smart and extremely gorgeous to me. I"ve always had a thing for healthier girls (usually in the range of 130-140lbs) but she was tiny, sitting at 5" even and 90lbs. I couldn"t resist.
edit: I suppose I should add that I"m 26 now, and this was when I was 20. She was.. uh, younger than me. We got together right when she turned 18.
I was about to put a giant circle around the word cocaine and say there"s your problem right there. Then I kept reading and my jaw dropped. Holy fuck bitch was crazy!Anwyn said: