Yeah dude, if she"s that liberal about letting guys sleep over, and ontop of that insists that you"re not there when they do then its a fair guess to say its a bad path to go down.. When I first started dating my ex, I had some suspicions about how she was so liberal when it came to certain things. I should have listened to that, by the end of this post I stated how she still thinks I"m psycho over the incident I explain later in this post (yes this is an edit), and after that situation I found out she used to go home with a diff guy every night after her table hostess job at her club.
It"s funny she uses the word trust, when I"ve given my ex chances, she"d try to use every example to show she"s gaining trust with me. Let me give you two prime examples, two that piss me the fuck off.
First would be, she was having a conversation with her best girl friend, and her best girl friend says about how her boyfriend asked if he was the best sex, and she said she told him he wasnt, and if he didnt like the answer he shouldnt have asked.
My gf (now ex) agreed blah blah, this got me to thinking, hey this is us trying again there was some time inbetween this time and the last maybe I feel a bit insecure, I"m going to ask.. yea you can guess what answer I got. "Well I want you to know I"m being honest with you, I dont want to lie to you."
My opinion on that? I"d lie, if it meant my girls happiness to tell her shes #1 then I would lie, because if I"m still with her, the sex must be great, it may not be the best but its certainly great and doesnt matter if its the best to me, but if someone asks then thats an indicator that it matters and anything less than best will only hurt them.. It also shows how considerate she was of my feelings (imo).
So she told me I was #2, and didnt want to lie because she was building my trust again.
Second example (happened after), we were out at a bar, and this guy texts her saying "wheres my convincing call ?" Immediate red flag to me, she has past history with guy texts and such, I go through it all and find out he was coming out to buy her a shot since she just got promoted, it was cool since he was a good guy friend of her and she claimed they had done nothing when they dated for one day (har har).
He shows up, I read more texts of his by then and found out she had planned to go to beach at night with him to smoke a blunt, same beach that she goes with me all the time to have sex, get high and look at the stars (always says how its so romantic), so I think wtf shes taking him to the same beach we go to at night to smoke.. no bueno. I call her out on it, and she says sorry then immediately after he says let me buy you that shot and she walks off to get the shot..
I flipped out, livid, couldnt believe she left me to go get a shot with him after apologizing and saying she was clearly wrong for not telling me before she committed to the beach thing.. Rest of the night (only lasted 30 minutes before I left) she kept insisting she did nothing wrong by walking off to get the shot and I was overreacting (what do you think?).. so her guy friend sees whats up, pulls me aside and gives me a man to man talk about her. He tells me that they actually dated for 2 months, had sex four times and that she really is into me but in his opinion you cant trust a girl like her, shes too wild and you giving her inquisitions about what shes hiding only pushes her away..
So the point of my second example was, this whole time we were trying again, she insisted on hurting my feelings to tell me I wasnt #1 just to prove she wanted me to trust her, but from the start she never told me she had sex with the guy (which she admitted the next day, claiming she told me and that it only happened once and never dated more than a day - "he lied"). I doubt he lied, since she admitted they had sex, and also on the fact that he was moving to a different state in a few days.
She knew better, I made it very clear (in relation to ravenn"s post about making your feelings clear) that any guy that she had previous encounters with was not to be talking to her anymore, not only because it wasnt right but because she cheated in the past, now she was trying to prove to me that she was serious and wanted us to work..
So to sum it up, girls will use trust to their advantage, but dont be fooled that it actually means they"re being 100% honest, they"re just rubbing it in your face when the opportunity arises.. fucking cunt.
Yeah, she still thinks I was wrong for flipping out about her walking off to get the shot and that I"m a psycho for flipping out. Some might think hey yeah maybe flipping out causing a scene was a bit much, but to me it was an accumulation of all the past things just smacking me in the face yet again.
What do you think? I"m actually more concerned with opinions about the #1 sex thing, yeah dont ask if you dont want the answer. But I"ve asked a few people about this and about half say I"d tell them the truth but then again I wouldnt be with them still if it wasnt #1.
That girl actually asked me when we first started if she was better than my previous gf, in some aspects she was but overall no, you cant beat a girl that gets off during sex (previous gf) vs one that doesnt.. but she made up for it in other ways and I wasnt about to hurt her feelings or create a huge insecurity in my gf over an ex gf.
Each their own I guess.
Ps: I also paid for everything, not worth it. They dont appreciate it and in the long run it"ll become "required" and "expected." Try asking her to spend money on you sometime, I bet you"ll get a smirk or some kind of "yah right" attitude. If anything it"s made me become stingy with my money and appreciate any chick that shows she is willing to pay her own way (not that I"ll let her - raised that way, but maybe the first few times)