My girlfriend of 2 years informed me yesterday out of the blue that she won"t be moving with me to the place we"d decided to set up our new life together after I"ve conducted a distance relationship for nearly a year and spent thousands on plane flights and concert tickets so we could be together more often. Her reason: they don"t have the alleged crucial and incredibly specific offshoot PhD program that she"s now decided she has to stay there to take, even though there"s a nearly identical program where we were supposed to go.
I"ve already made my preparations to move and paid over a grand in application fees and prep courses, money I can"t get back and it"s too late for me to even consider paying them again to enable me to live and practice my profession in another state. I"ve been breaking my back to save up enough $ to comfortably move and settle in, and because she wouldn"t shut the fuck up about getting married... I"ve been saving up for that too because I thought of it as an investment rather than just more wasted fucking money.
I"ve spent countless hours dealing with the frustration of her absolutely insane mood swings, eased her through awful girl sobs about how much she hates her mother and America and conservatives. I"ve weathered abuse most would consider grounds for slapping a ho and helped her get to a place of emotional stability and maturity. I"ve given her the benefit of the doubt when presented with accusations of infidelity from some thug wannabe wigger piece of shit, who, by her accounts was seeking to blackmail her. I swayed my family and friends to her side and have brought her their respect when they"d previously discounted her as a crazy, bossy cunt who should be kicked to the curb. I gave her the goddamn benefit of the doubt when she failed out of school and moved away to try again in some other program, and held back on deriding her because she has mommy and daddy to pick up her slack and bills so she has the option to try again with different post-grad.
I told her my secrets and opened up at a time when I trusted no one and was reeling back from death and decline of the people around me I loved. We had the best sex I"ve had in my life and we were happy. I made her happy when we were together and she did the same for me, and thought we were a team, albeit a team of borderline psychotics. I got through some of my darkest days up to this point thinking she had my back and for a time I thought there was reciprocity.
I"ve wasted 2 years of my life chasing a concept and I have nothing left but regret. I"m not really even angry anymore, just disappointed and regretting all the decisions based around someone who"s abandoned all that time at the sign of fairer weather elsewhere. She made new friends, her life got better, her prospects looked brighter, and all the promises that seemed so solid melted away. I"ve spent 3 months looking forward to getting to see her for just a few days, a bright spot in the otherwise hostile and unforgiving climate I"ve created for myself. My health is failing, I can"t afford medical care when I get sick, and I can barely afford the meds I need to stay alive. I"m stretched to the very limits of my sanity trying to make my new, hopeful life viable. I"ve taken steps in preparation I can"t take back and sacrificed the most valuable asset anyone can ever hope to possess: time.
But after it all, I"ve got to thank FoH for the perspective I"ve gleaned here. I read the Married Guy Thread and Galiem"s shit and the Grobbee saga from start to finish and I can honestly say it"s still not as bad as it could be. We don"t have kids, I don"t have to deal with divorce, and AFAIK she never blew a co-worker in a parking lot while I wallowed at home, hoping I could get a hug and maybe a blowjob on our anniversary. I"ve never banged (and possibly impregnated) a hell goblin in some dingy trailer park and I"ve never raised some other fucker"s little shits believing them to be my own.
I"m not exactly sure how I"m going to pull myself out of this funk, but I think I"m going to start with a few girls that have been veritably begging to bang me for the past 6 months. I"m glad I have no excuse not to take up the offer anymore. I won"t do it for revenge, or to up my self esteem, or to try and forget about how I"ve been dicked over in a very major way. I"m going to do it because I have blue balls the size of fucking planets.
So for what it"s worth, thanks guys. I don"t know what"s going to happen to me but I"ve learned that there"s always someone in a worse spot than me. I"ve learned, above all else, the benefit of cutting my losses and moving the fuck on when things go sour. For those of you wallowing in self-pity, fucking stop it. Pussy simply isn"t worth keeping yourself miserable over.