Girls who broke your heart thread
- Thread starter Aychamo BanBan
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Basically. womp wompThe Ancient said:
I"m working through a lot more shit than I originally anticipated, namely, my relationships and how I deal with them. Cutting and running because of past issues wasn"t really a good idea for me. Didn"t work the first time go around, why did I think it would work the second time. I had something good, it was damaged, but not beyond redemption. My fight or flight just kind of worked against me on it. So I decided to mellow, start talking to my girl about the things we"ve actually got wrong with us, and getting ready for a solo move to San Antonio come June for school.
tldr; I decided to grow the fuck up, stop being a bitch, and deal with myself. Moving forward.
I thought I"d share my recent experiences with unfortunate heart broken among us.
Back in 2002 I met a girl in college who was everything I thought I wanted in a woman. Although at the age of 21, she hardly qualified for the term. We became great friends and she and I began to date in the spring of 2003.
We never fought, she inspired me, she brought a lot of joy into my life. One thing she always warned me about was that she was afraid of forever. I ignored that, hoping that time would fix that.
It was a shock, but not much of a surprise when in the summer of 2006 she broke up with me the week after my birthday. She said she wanted to experience being single in her adult life, she wanted to be an actress, a writer, and be free to do things that she couldn"t do if we were together or married.
My heart was broken, I went on match.com and had a very expensive month where I went on about 30 dates in 30 days... some were stacked on the same evening. I felt that meeting dozens of new people would help me forget what I had just lost, and help me figure out what I wanted and needed from a partner.
I got out there, figured out what I needed and met women who were looking for the same thing I was. Now, I"m with a woman, we live together. She may not have the same kind soul of the woman who broke my heart all those years ago, be we make things work. We have plans for the future, we share in responsibilities, we are mature adults.
Six months ago, I got an email in an account that I rarely use anymore from my ex. She wanted to let me know that the time we spent together was very special to her and she wanted to thank me for it.
We"ve emailed a few times since then, and she"d like to get together to catch up. For men, that means seeing if the spark is still there, I assume that might be the same for women.
She"s trying to pursue her dreams still as an actress and as a writer, but that"s a rough industry. And the thought crossed my mind, what if things don"t work out with my current girlfriend, and what if I went back down that road?
It would be a mistake, a foolish romantic"s mistake. And so that is where it ends. Romance is for the young, reaching for things that may never be is for the young, and I am no longer so young and naive.
But not to be a total mood killer, I post a flying puppy.
Back in 2002 I met a girl in college who was everything I thought I wanted in a woman. Although at the age of 21, she hardly qualified for the term. We became great friends and she and I began to date in the spring of 2003.
We never fought, she inspired me, she brought a lot of joy into my life. One thing she always warned me about was that she was afraid of forever. I ignored that, hoping that time would fix that.
It was a shock, but not much of a surprise when in the summer of 2006 she broke up with me the week after my birthday. She said she wanted to experience being single in her adult life, she wanted to be an actress, a writer, and be free to do things that she couldn"t do if we were together or married.
My heart was broken, I went on match.com and had a very expensive month where I went on about 30 dates in 30 days... some were stacked on the same evening. I felt that meeting dozens of new people would help me forget what I had just lost, and help me figure out what I wanted and needed from a partner.
I got out there, figured out what I needed and met women who were looking for the same thing I was. Now, I"m with a woman, we live together. She may not have the same kind soul of the woman who broke my heart all those years ago, be we make things work. We have plans for the future, we share in responsibilities, we are mature adults.
Six months ago, I got an email in an account that I rarely use anymore from my ex. She wanted to let me know that the time we spent together was very special to her and she wanted to thank me for it.
We"ve emailed a few times since then, and she"d like to get together to catch up. For men, that means seeing if the spark is still there, I assume that might be the same for women.
She"s trying to pursue her dreams still as an actress and as a writer, but that"s a rough industry. And the thought crossed my mind, what if things don"t work out with my current girlfriend, and what if I went back down that road?
It would be a mistake, a foolish romantic"s mistake. And so that is where it ends. Romance is for the young, reaching for things that may never be is for the young, and I am no longer so young and naive.
But not to be a total mood killer, I post a flying puppy.
I"m glad it sounds like you aren"t going to meet her.
she"s down on her luck and wants a self-image boost.
if she were to get back together with you, it would be her "settling for less." and you deserve better.
she"s down on her luck and wants a self-image boost.
if she were to get back together with you, it would be her "settling for less." and you deserve better.
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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From your story, it sounds like she kind of lives in the moment and chases dreams. That would be tiresome in a long term partner. It can be a tough call if you really connect with someone, but walking away is the right decision in that case. Otherwise, you"ll end up being an enabler rather than a partner, or you"ll always be the "bad guy" that is killing her aspirations.Lord Dacianprick said:
Void
Experiencer
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While I whole-heartedly agree with your decision, you know this is also going to have the added effect of making her absolutely crazy about you. You"re turning her down, when it was clear you loved her deeply, and she"s going to feel she fucked up big time now that you are well-adjusted and moved on enough to reject her.
You sir have struck a blow for men everywhere!
You sir have struck a blow for men everywhere!
I never even really understood that line of thought, nothing about being with someone stops you from pursuing a career, it just changes the nature of the relationship.
Not surprising but she clearly wasn"t mature enough to understand that being together didn"t mean abandoning her dreams, it just means the nature changes going forward, in that even if married you know she won"t be cranking out kids and stuff and if you both understand that going forward...what"s the fucking problem?
Working situations can be tough but I doubt you"d have trouble finding a situation where you could both pursue careers in the same place.
I mean duh, but that was just an immature excuse for wanting to bang other guys.
Not surprising but she clearly wasn"t mature enough to understand that being together didn"t mean abandoning her dreams, it just means the nature changes going forward, in that even if married you know she won"t be cranking out kids and stuff and if you both understand that going forward...what"s the fucking problem?
Working situations can be tough but I doubt you"d have trouble finding a situation where you could both pursue careers in the same place.
I mean duh, but that was just an immature excuse for wanting to bang other guys.
I"ve done this and let me tell you that reality is nothing like the memories. Don"t ever go back because what you will experience with your ex now with all of the knowledge and relationship experience you have gained will expose some very ugly things that you never noticed before.Lord Dacianprick said:
kegkilla
The Big Mod
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shit i almost just ran over some old lady cause i was reading this thread on my phone. literally like inches from homicide.
warden of the north you made a good call. do you know how many producer cocks have been in your ex"s mouth in the last 5 years? hundreds. a good pal of mine works in hollywood, right now he"s actually an editor on ancient aliens. along with stories about georgio tsukoros, he loves retelling stories he"s heard about the shit actresses will do to get even a bit part in a shitty production. it"s hilarious to a point but also pretty disturbing.
warden of the north you made a good call. do you know how many producer cocks have been in your ex"s mouth in the last 5 years? hundreds. a good pal of mine works in hollywood, right now he"s actually an editor on ancient aliens. along with stories about georgio tsukoros, he loves retelling stories he"s heard about the shit actresses will do to get even a bit part in a shitty production. it"s hilarious to a point but also pretty disturbing.
Adebisi
Clump of Cells
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I personally wouldn"t do that and especially not with an ex who is in a relationship, but based off of my own experience, not all women think the same. I"ve never met a man who"s ever admitted to the real meaning behind "catching up", but we all know what it means anyway, so I guess it doesn"t really matter.Lord Dacianprick said:
Random question but I"m curious. Let"s say for a moment you did go meet her to catch up (as friends). Would you have told your current girlfriend?
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Obviously he"d lie, or he wouldnt be here mentioning it, lol. Bad idea all together, but if he has balls to say maybe I won"t be with my current gf in the future then he must have a crystal ball, or something. I forget the post but did she dump him? Maybe going to see if she wants him now.Ravvenn said: