Girls who broke your heart thread
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Heylel
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The happiest married friends I have met each other at work, so it definitely does happen. In their case, I think the real key was that they were good friendsfrom work, who eventually just happened to start dating. Work romances happen a lot, and I doubt they have any statistically higher chance of failing than any other way people get to know one another. It"s just that the consequences when they fail can extend to other areas of life.Palum said:
Tons of people meet partners at work, for obvious reasons. It"s not always a great idea, but it"s not always the worst either. The safest route would be to just get to know her first and determine if it has lasting potential, and only then ask her out. Generally you should avoid work romances, but realistically they are one of your best options for finding a potential partner.
Just be flirty and keep the tension high, but keep it on the backburner while you pursue other girls. If she matches what you"re lookin for after knowing her a while, then you can consider askin her out. Yea you risk someone else coming in and swooping her up, but the risk is worth it because, as a girl you don"t know well yet, she isn"tyetworth the risk of work drama.
Did you say you were thinking about asking her out on FB to avoid awkwardness? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh worst idea ever. "Hey I have no testicles, would you like to go out?"
Just be flirty and keep the tension high, but keep it on the backburner while you pursue other girls. If she matches what you"re lookin for after knowing her a while, then you can consider askin her out. Yea you risk someone else coming in and swooping her up, but the risk is worth it because, as a girl you don"t know well yet, she isn"tyetworth the risk of work drama.
Did you say you were thinking about asking her out on FB to avoid awkwardness? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh worst idea ever. "Hey I have no testicles, would you like to go out?"
Ya I"m in the camp that just because it"s at work doesn"t increase the odds of it not working out. Relationships fail all the time simply because we suck at them until we learn enough lessons the hard way to get it right later on in life.
I second the advice of getting to know the girl really well before pursuing a relationship, and I"m sure you"ll be fine.
I second the advice of getting to know the girl really well before pursuing a relationship, and I"m sure you"ll be fine.
I don"t think anyone is saying that the chances of a relationship hitting the shitter are greater with someone you work with, just that the fallout associated with it is so much worse. You can"t get around seeing someone you have to work with every day.
I"m kind of on the fence about it personally. I"ve dated women that I worked with before with mixed results.
I"m kind of on the fence about it personally. I"ve dated women that I worked with before with mixed results.
Eomer
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I agree with others, get to know her for a few months first and see if it"s something worth pursuing. Assuming that the job is also a long term thing. If the job isn"t a long term thing, then fuck it, dive in and if things don"t work out move along. If it is a long term thing and you don"t want to have to get a new one if shit goes really sideways, get to know her casually only through work or work events before doing anything. Step carefully and don"t get yourself friend zoned!
Well, pretty sure the final chapter of this fucked up coaster of emotion is upon me. Last night, when my chick got home, the first thing she says is "I lied to you." Pretty much, I knew what she was talking about immediately, I had just been waiting for her to come out with it. Took 3 days.
She had taken some pics of herself in my mirror from behind, pants down and shirt up. When I asked her about it, she told me she took them for me. At that second, I knew it was bs, because I can"t get pic messages right now. I let on a few times, seeing if she"d just be honest, and finally she was. She had sent them to a guy I used to work with at my last restaurant, who recently had moved to Maine, and who was married to her best friend. They had recently split and were getting a divorce, which we all saw coming.
Now, I"m just through. Told her she needed to get her shit together and get out. She cried, screamed, begged, apologized, told me how much she loved me, but I still told her to leave.
I"m fucking tired right now. I"m hurt, yeah, but mostly I"m just tired. I"m ready to move the fuck on, promised myself the next time some shit went down, that that was going to be it. She"s gone now, I"m getting the shit she"s left here together so she can get it when I"m gone. Sucks though, because she"s a waitress where I just got a job at in the kitchen. Thankfully, I"m not really mad or resentful, so I can maintain some professionalism at work.
I"m moving away in 5-7 months. I"m going to be going to the Culinary Institute of America campus in San Antonio, moving on to the New York campus afterward, and building my future and career. I don"t have the energy or the time to waste on bitter feuds.
Another one bites the dust.
She had taken some pics of herself in my mirror from behind, pants down and shirt up. When I asked her about it, she told me she took them for me. At that second, I knew it was bs, because I can"t get pic messages right now. I let on a few times, seeing if she"d just be honest, and finally she was. She had sent them to a guy I used to work with at my last restaurant, who recently had moved to Maine, and who was married to her best friend. They had recently split and were getting a divorce, which we all saw coming.
Now, I"m just through. Told her she needed to get her shit together and get out. She cried, screamed, begged, apologized, told me how much she loved me, but I still told her to leave.
I"m fucking tired right now. I"m hurt, yeah, but mostly I"m just tired. I"m ready to move the fuck on, promised myself the next time some shit went down, that that was going to be it. She"s gone now, I"m getting the shit she"s left here together so she can get it when I"m gone. Sucks though, because she"s a waitress where I just got a job at in the kitchen. Thankfully, I"m not really mad or resentful, so I can maintain some professionalism at work.
I"m moving away in 5-7 months. I"m going to be going to the Culinary Institute of America campus in San Antonio, moving on to the New York campus afterward, and building my future and career. I don"t have the energy or the time to waste on bitter feuds.
Another one bites the dust.
No, the brunette half mexican girl. The red head was a fling, and I wouldn"t trust her with any emotion.Eomer said:
Big Phoenix
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The friend zone is like running the ball into the endzone and realizing you didn"t just score a touchdown.Eomer said:
There are already quite a few on here. In this thread and in my thread celebrating my time on FOH lolPhoenix said:
Wrathcaster covered it well, but this particular part is definitely trueWrathcaster said:
Ended up stopping what was going on with the girl at work... and this girl has oscillated from extremely happy to see me when we run into each other in the office to playing games with other coworkers in front of me in attempts to make me jealous
Basically, I sidestepped one minefield and walked into another
Best advice for many things in lifeAntarius said:
It definitely happens, but a lot of that hinges on people"s maturity levels and where they are in life from what I"ve seen.Heylel Teomim said:
Couples that get together through work are often those more ready to settle down or look for something long term. Drama is more easily avoided when the two are less drama queens (it helps too if you rarely see them at work)
So the best advice people are giving is definitely true - get to know her first while keeping it flirty and keep an air of tension around, and then see if they are compatible with your goals and the risks you"ll take on.
If she at all is looking at playing the field, isn"t ready to settle down or commit to anything, or just came out of a relationship... stay away for a long long time. No need to jump onto her emotional roller coaster and then bring it into work
You done good man. Going to suck seeing her at work, but ignore her emotional apologetic bullshit and games she"ll inevitably playVatoreus said:
Big Phoenix
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YesPhoenix said:
Just look at my rep page, the Yay 4.5 Years of Awesomeness and some of the previous gwbyht from like last year
