Girls who broke your heart thread

Relationships are hard enough without having stuff like a problem with weight being on your mind. If you had to ask yourself a question about her weight now, chances are it will be an issue later.

If you"re not attracted to her now, continuing to date her on the basis she may become attractive to you later is pretty dumb. Don"t keep dating her.

Also at some point she will find out you didn"t initially find her sexually appealing and feelings are going to be hurt. Which you may or may not care about, just bringing it up.

Oh and if her sister is a 10, be super nice to the fat one and try to nail the 10.

Awlbiste said:

Also at some point she will find out you didn"t initially find her sexually appealing and feelings are going to be hurt. Which you may or may not care about, just bringing it up.

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Oh, I think she already knows

My initial message to her:
Hi, I know you said that you didn"t want someone to message you about this, but I"m torn...

On one hand, you basically have the best profile I"ve come across on this entire site. On the other hand you pretty much said "fuck off if you want me to be healthy".

I absolutely would love to hang out with you based on your profile, and I think you have a very attractive face, but your weight "is" an issue, and it stands out because it is the "only" issue.

If you can forgive me for being honest about that, then I would like to get to know you better and even take you out on a date if you"re interested.




Her response:
Well, for some reason my last message didn"t go through. Basically, I meant that I don"t want to change to be in a relationship. If you can"t accept me for who/what I am now then what can I expect later? I"ve been losing weight by myself I just don"t want guys to pull that stuff where they give you an ultimatum. I have had plenty issues with men saying stuff then lying. I just want honesty.

You sound like a really nice guy and I would like to go on a date with you. If you still are interested? ### ### #### We can text if you want.


edit: p.s. she has def lost a good amount of weight in-person from what her profile pictures showed (I"d have honestly guessed even more than 20 lbs), so I know she"s not lying about that. And I was actually kinda surprised in person, normally people post up their "best" photos.

Hot damn, you called her fat and she still said you sounded like a nice guy. I feel like you deserve some sort of congratulations.

Wtf, are you rich? Calling someone overweight on a dating site then asking them out on a date is hardcore. /highfive

Grumpus said:

Wtf, are you rich? Calling someone overweight on a dating site then asking them out on a date is hardcore. /highfive

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I"m not rich enough to attract any real gold-diggers, but I"m rich enough that I could support a family on my income alone.

I"m right at the 90 percentile of all income earners according to wikipedia.

trexxy said:

Idk why you"re so worried about the age thing. I"m 5 years younger than my bf and sure, sometimes I"m really annoying but most of the time I"m pretty bearable.

I mean, to be with a girl and then have it not work out "because she is just too young" is one thing but you seem pretty terrified to even try.

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Since you"re the world"s most annoying human and have the apparent maturity of a toddler I don"t know if this is the best endorsement of dating younger

Tenks said:

Since you"re the world"s most annoying human and have the apparent maturity of a toddler I don"t know if this is the best endorsement of dating younger

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It"s ok. At least she"s a mod now.

She made her own fashion forum - maybe we can start a "the girls who put Tyen"s ball (yes, ball) in a jar and caused an exodus from FoH" thread.

Etoille said:

It"s ok. At least she"s a mod now.

She made her own fashion forum - maybe we can start a "the girls who put Tyen"s ball (yes, ball) in a jar and caused an exodus from FoH" thread.

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ME-OW, put the claws away its just the internet.

Seriously though. Date her sister and stay friends with her. Then you can guilt trip the sister any time she complains about your gaming.

alpha dog status

It"s been almost a month since the whole thing went down. It"s been really, really shitty.. but she made it easier (harder?) for me by being really cold. Today I resolved to bring all of her things to her house after work. Will be a bad night, but whatever. I"ll let her know like 30 minutes before I do so (she"s been kind of playing games with her things.. long story) but I just need it done.

Just wanted to update that I"ve been hanging out with many women. Its not fulfilling and i"d change everything if I could.. but a promise is a promise. Next time you see me in here , once I figure out how to photoshop some faces out or whatever i"ll have some pics for you guys.

Ps went on a retail therapy spree. Retarded, but it actually works. Now I know why girls buy so much crap.

Rune said:

Seriously though. Date her sister and stay friends with her. Then you can guilt trip the sister any time she complains about your gaming.

alpha dog status

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Sorry, should have anticipated the get with the sister comments.

Her sister is married. I was just using her as a frame of reference for what shecouldlook like if she lost the weight. I did a double take when I saw the sister... she"s basically a Melanie Iglesias twin from the front... and well...

I attached her facebook photo.

But yea, I"m not trying to get with the sister...

I"m trying to figure out if anyone has had luck dating a bigger girl who"s been losing weight and having her continue to lose the weight, or if I should just give up now. I mean, I really did like this girl"s personality, which is why I didn"t turn and run the second I figured out she was introducing me to her parents "as" the second date.

And like I said, the girl I was dating exactly one year ago introduced me to her parents within the first week... and that ended horribly.

Antarius said:

which is why I didn"t turn and run the second I figured out she was introducing me to her parents "as" the second date.

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Hmmm

Antarius said:

she was introducing me to her parents "as" the second date.

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I"m curious how she introduced you. Was it "Hey this is my boyfriend Antarius." If it was friend or like, guy I know or something. Or just "This is Antarius." Was the party really awkward?

I still don"t think you should date her on the premise that you hope she"ll be desirable to you at some later date though. I"d have a different opinion if you were more like "Well she"s really cute now but she"s definitely going to be really hot when she finishes losing the weight she"s planning on losing" or something. But it seems like you are incredibly lukewarm on her appearance, besides her face, as of right now.

weight might always be an issue for her, but if she"s got everything else you want, then you should still enjoy fucking her.

and it can be fun to be with a girl who is eager to please.

so the only concern is whether you can handle the negative stigma of dating an overweight person.

Awlbiste said:

I"m curious how she introduced you. Was it "Hey this is my boyfriend Antarius." If it was friend or like, guy I know or something. Or just "This is Antarius." Was the party really awkward?

I still don"t think you should date her on the premise that you hope she"ll be desirable to you at some later date though. I"d have a different opinion if you were more like "Well she"s really cute now but she"s definitely going to be really hot when she finishes losing the weight she"s planning on losing" or something. But it seems like you are incredibly lukewarm on her appearance, besides her face, as of right now.

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Well, like I said, the party was at a country bar/dance club, we got there early, like 8:30, and it was a little awkward at first because the place was basically empty except her relatives. But then the place started filling up with the random saturday night crowd and some of her friends showed up later on which helped.

She introduced me by the 3rd option, just by name, we showed up at the same time and I met them as we were lining up to get carded/stamped. But then again, we"re basically both 30 and she spent the majority of the night with me / talking to me / close to me, it"s not like we were kissing or anything, but there was definitely enough casual touching and whatnot going on (on her part) that anyone would have guessed we were dating if they were looking for that.

As far as the lukewarm part... I guess the fact that I"ve had sex with 5 different girls in the past 2 months changes my perspective a lot, I"d only slept with 5 girls in the past 5 years previous.

Antarius said:

Oh, I think she already knows

My initial message to her:

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Haha wow, I"m blown away that she wanted to date by you calling her fat right off the bat lol. Post a pic, cover her face if you want to, I"m curious to see how big she really is.

I"ve had similar experiences as Antarius in messaging girls and mentioning their weight or something. The remotely sane ones appreciate the honesty and the willingness to look past one issue and recognize that you find them attractive as a whole package.


Also, as someone who"s been in the same situation as the girl, being on a dating site well in the process of losing massive amounts of weight...

I can say that I really appreciated the women who were upfront with me telling me that my weight was an issue, but they liked everything else about me and were still willing to try things out.
It didn"t work most the time, we"d go out a few times and they"d eventually break down with some variation of "I love everything about you, this is tearing me up, you made me realize I"m an incredibly shallow person, but I just can"t get past this", etc. But I still appreciated the willingness to try and rise above their biology, and some of them managed to do so and it didn"t work out for other reasons.