Girls who broke your heart thread

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
19,218
15,612
Eomer said:
= Honestly after our first conversation I figured it could have been either way, flirting or just being friendly.
This is your problem right here. You fucking over-analyzeEVERYTHING. Cut that shit out. When a chick shows possible interest, ask her out. If she shoots you down, she wasn"t interested in the first place, and you avoided the completely pointless "friend zone" by letting her string you along, thinking you had a chance. Why is it so bad to know where you stand with a girl? If she says no, you"re no worse off than when you started, and now you can move on to the next chick.
 

ham

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,489
92
small update on my non macho crap:

still dealing with shit with the ex. as many of you pointed out at the time, carrying on any sort of relationship this soon after the mess is going to be damn near impossible. I had lunch with her yesterday and it was extremely difficult not to rub her nose in it the entire time, though I did have my moments. She spent the better part of the few hours we were together crying. As mentioned, I"m more upset at the thought of losing her at this point than the thought of her fuck up. I mean it really makes me angry when I think about it, but that can"t be changed anymore. And I don"t mean losing her as in she"s trying to leave me, but what she did and how she handled the aftermath right after may cause it to end up that way

The guy involved with this has dug himself a hole. For some reason the gfs friends, who I mentioned were really pissed about this whole thing, are really pissed at him still. He apparently hasn"t owned up to it or thinks he did anything wrong and that"s what is really pissing them off I guess. I"m hearing this secondhand. They were supposed to get a house together (him and the two lesbians) next month, and apparently now he"s having to resort to finding a new place to live or something. Wishing for nothing but bad things to happen to him at this point. Sounds like a self absorbed, manipulative cunt.

If I was a betting man, I would say me and my ex aren"t in each others lives this time next month. Things seem extremely unstable at the time. And she"s vowed to try harder and harder but once I"m back into the grind of being at school all day then working for 8 hours I"m going to guess that I"ll wisen up to this whole thing. There"s obviously no intimacy in our relationship right now, no I love yous being passed back and forth, etc. The longer that goes on the more we will drift apart imo

She"s not begging for me "back" to be clear, which is another thing. I know it"s hard for people to understand why you would want to keep an ex around if you aren"t "with" them, but despite it all she really is and was the closest person in my life. My GF who lived with me before her was the same, but when we had a falling out I didn"t grasp at every straw to make it work. I"m not sure why I feel differently this time around compared to the other breakups or should"ve break ups in the past, but I do.
 

Dandai

<WoW Guild Officer>
<Gold Donor>
5,917
4,493
To be honest, I"m fascinated as to why you want to maintain a friendship with someone who has proven themselves untrustworthy, ex-girlfriend or no. If a buddy of mine proves himself to be a liar, I sever all friendly ties. Sure, if he"s mutual friends with another friend of mine, I will be civil, granted no harm was done when he was proving himself to be human debris, but I make no bones about where I stand with the individual (and why).
 

Vimeseh_foh

shitlord
0
0
ham said:
I think the right explanation is often the easiest one: I"m in denial.
That and the fact that women mess with your head especially if you still love them. They also want to keep you around and stay friends until they have a firm bead on another guy. So they can get back with the safe option if the grass isn"t greener wherever. My wife has a good line about this. A women is like a monkey. They never let go of the last branch until they have a firm grip on the next one.
 

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,652
53,067
ham said:
I think the right explanation is often the easiest one: I"m in denial.
Or maybe you are trying to figure out what is wrong with you so you can keep future girlfriends from cheating for the same reason.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,746
9,145
If someone cheats on you there is no reason to keep them in your life. They already showed you how much you mean to them, there"s no reason to want to be around a person like that regardless of "how close" you feel or felt to them.

All you posting shows is a lack of self respect to me.
 

ham

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,489
92
@gavinrad There"s some truth in that. When I started the relationship with this girl I actually talked to my ex who I had lived with, via email, about how things fell apart with us. And things basically fell apart here for the same reason. I"m not an affectionate person, my passive approach at times to things and my approach to problems (I get over stuff very quickly, too much energy wasted on anger, etc), and I tend to go through periods of time where I just don"t put in the effort. Last one probably sounds like most long term relationships, but as a trio it"s a bad recipe for someone to keep things together.

@Vimeseh: I have almost no doubt the dude who this happened with would be with her if she told him that. If she wanted to drop me and be with him, I think she could. They were friends (as a result of them sharing a best friend) before this, but I told her if there"s anyway to repair things the guy cannot be involved in our life, at all. On the surface it may seem like an unreasonable demand to say someone can"t talk to one of their friends, but I don"t think it"s unreasonable. She needed to choose which relationship meant more to her and go that route. If she wanted to try things out with him, I would not and will not be there for her, and if she wants to fix things with me, I cannot have him on my mind at all. I"m not the jealous type, but now that I know what his true intentions were, I don"t want to have to think "is he called her because of X, Y or Z", I just don"t deal with that call at all. I made my terms pretty clear and I won"t compromise on them right now.

@Tarrant: people tend to pigeon hole cheating with this and while I think there"s a lot of truth to it, and the past has shown us this is normally the case, there are exceptions to every rule. No idea if I"m right or wrong, but I"ve made my bed with at least attempting at giving her a shot at redemption. There"s plenty of things people do in their relationships and even to their family that would show how "much" (little) they mean to them, but that doesn"t really mean its true. Never come close to fighting a friend, or called someone you cared about really filthy names, or talked shit about a gf in a way, that if they heard it, would crush them? I"ve done those things or things like them to people throughout my life, where on thesurfacethey would show that I don"t value their feelings or them in my life, but that doesn"t make it true.

At this point I"m not even talking about my relationship specifically.

edit:
another recap to show that"s not always true

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Again. I left her last summer for no reason. Talk about the ultimate "show someone you don"t care about them" move. Honestly, no reason other than exhaustion.

Then she was talking to a dude and I didn"t care, told her as much with my actions. Never texted or talked anymore, just lived my life the day after we broke up as if it never happened. Never considering what she was going through.

Eventually, like all idiots who make a mistake, I realized I had made one. Tried to come back, but she couldn"t trust me. That she was depressed and sad and I wasn"t there at all. I completely took her for granted. Her friends knew, messaged me and I would say things like "people grow apart sometimes, it happens, there"s nobody to blame here" or something of that nature. I still had feelings for her, I just didn"t want to put in the work. I didn"t try to date anyone. I hooked up a few times -- with girls who were friends, burned some bridges when they realized it wasn"t "real" and all that jazz.

It took weeks to get her back. And she had nothing to go off of but my word and my actions. She had a guy ready to treat her great. Early part of a relationship, who can beat that? There"s no fights, no drama, you don"t know how someone is at their worst, etc. She gave me a chance, and I probably didn"t deserve it; the way she doesn"t really deserve one now. But I treated her well, I was faithful and when she fucked up, I didn"t throw her away. She may fuck me over in the end, but she deserves a chance to fuckup too, to try and fix things, etc.

I realize the relationship sounds terribly dramatic because this is all you"ve heard about it, but 18+ months without a real fight (as in goes into the next day, someone is REALLY fucking furious, etc). No "fake" breakups, no threats, etc. A very healthy and happy relationship 97% of the time. She is not good with confrontation at times and it lead to my complacency going on in a way that I thought was okay for a while. We"ve only been back together for 8ish months right now (still long for me in general), but I recognize I definitely slipped in a "45 year old with kids" sort of comfort level during June. This is not an excuse to cheat on someone, but I am not without fault. People don"t like to recognize that though

Outside of her friends, only 1 person in "my life" knows about our breakup (no dramatic facebook change). I"ve kept this to myself for reasons that show on FOH just when you tell someone. She will always be judged based on this action, not the other 25 months that I"ve known her, but rather then last few days of her road trip. I want to be sure before that judgement comes down. Partly for myself, but also because I know the lasting effect it will have on people like my "girl-friends". The one person who knows is an old booty call too, and she tried to get me to go out tonight (have to wake up at 5 or I might"ve). So this isn"t just a case of needing attention from a girl or needing to get my dick wet, it"s really about the girl who fucked up
 

Vimeseh_foh

shitlord
0
0
I didn"t necessarily mean if the guy wanted her or not. Its applicable to that though! I more meant until they are sure they have upgraded and its set in stone they tend to keep option 1A open for as long as possible.
 

ham

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,489
92
Vimeseh said:
I didn"t necessarily mean if the guy wanted her or not. Its applicable to that though! I more meant until they are sure they have upgraded and its set in stone they tend to keep option 1A open for as long as possible.
I think guys are like this a lot too. I mean they may not have new girlfriend lined up, but they definitely seem to have someone else ready to fuck them
 

Antarius

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,828
15
Errrr, no... I usually stop actively looking for other women after I"ve been in a relationship for as short as 4 weeks.

Yea, it causes a dry spell if things don"t work out with chick A, but I just have felt really really fucking shady and like a shitty human being when I"m making plans and trying to date multiple girls at once.

During the month of June I fucked 3 different girls and went on a date with 2 other girls. During the month of July I"ve fucked 1 girl and a date with one other girl which didn"t work out.

If you"re happy with the person you"re with, why would you look for other people to fuck. If you"re not happy with the person you"re with... STOP BEING WITH THEM.
 

ham

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,489
92
That"s not what I meant, and obviously this further illustrates my point that not everyone is the same. There"s a lot of white knights on FOH, but like it or not, men are assholes and heartbreakers too. And a massive amount of people, once they get bored in a relationship or realize it"s going to end, start reaching out elsewhere, before ending what they"re currently involved in
 

Antarius

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,828
15
ham said:
And a massive amount of people, once they get bored in a relationship or realize it"s going to end, start reaching out elsewhere, before ending what they"re currently involved in
And those people are bad for doing it, and should feel bad.
 

Grumpus

Molten Core Raider
1,927
223
So I have been hanging out with that girl a bit. It has been tons of fun, we get along great. I was starting to think things were to good to be true.

So last night we got on the topic of threesomes. She said shes bi then also mentions that shes been in a threesome before and that it was with 2 dudes when she was drunk....

My brain started screaming run. It was a complete turn off. Not sure what to do now.
 

Eomer

Trakanon Raider
5,472
272
Yeah, I"m not judgmental about sexual proclivities for the most part, but a chick being done by two dudes doesn"t sit well with me if she"s relationship material. Not a deal breaker, but definitely not a point in favor. And how exactly does bi-sexual lead to being a Chinese finger puzzle? Regardless though, it seems way too early to be breaking things off, especially if everything else has been good to great.

So I did the movie thing with the neighbor last night. Mutual friend wasn"t answering their phone and weather wasn"t great for a bike ride anyways, so she came over instead. Had a pretty good time, good conversation, seems like a cool chick, fair number of mutual interests. She was wearing daisy duke shorts with the pockets showing, and has the ass of a 12 year old boy.

I never felt an opportune moment to make any sort of a move. She was a couple feet away from me on the couch, so there wasn"t any physical contact at all during the movie that would have moved things along. After the movie we chatted for another half an hour or so, she went on her way and said we should definitely do it again sometime. During the chatting there was definitely a lot of hair twirling going on. Looks like game on.
 

brekk

Dancing Dino Superstar
<Bronze Donator>
2,193
1,749
she went on her way and said we should definitely do it again sometime
"sometime" better be within the next week. And you better make a god damn move.
 

Grumpus

Molten Core Raider
1,927
223
Eomer said:
Yeah, I"m not judgmental about sexual proclivities for the most part, but a chick being done by two dudes doesn"t sit well with me if she"s relationship material. Not a deal breaker, but definitely not a point in favor. And how exactly does bi-sexual lead to being a Chinese finger puzzle? Regardless though, it seems way too early to be breaking things off, especially if everything else has been good to great.
I was surprised how put off I was. We had been talking about celebrity crushes and we both said our big one was Natalie Portman and that kinda moved the conversation towards us having a threesome. She brought up the 2 dudes like it was nothing and idk, it just killed it for me.

We do get along really well though, like eerily similar.
 

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
3,281
1,636
Grumpus said:
So I have been hanging out with that girl a bit. It has been tons of fun, we get along great. I was starting to think things were to good to be true.

So last night we got on the topic of threesomes. She said shes bi then also mentions that shes been in a threesome before and that it was with 2 dudes when she was drunk....

My brain started screaming run. It was a complete turn off. Not sure what to do now.
1) Stop taking her so seriously

2) DON"T FUCKING KNOCK HER UP

3) Threesome her with whatever other chick she wants

Problem solved in 3 easy steps. Also included a picture to illustrate what happened on that drunken evening she brought up in a more visually appealing way.