Girls who broke your heart thread

Rune_foh

shitlord
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Antarius said:
But to say that there is no difference between a 20 y/o single mother with a newborn and a 32 year old single mother with a 17 year old is ludicrous AT BEST.
What"s ludicrous is your inability to do basic math. How old do you think she was when she had that 17 year old kid?

The only difference between her now and 17 years ago is her increased level of desperation to lock someone down before she"s a 40 year old single mother.
 

Antarius

Lord Nagafen Raider
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Rune said:
What"s ludicrous is your inability to do basic math. How old do you think she was when she had that 17 year old kid?

The only difference between her now and 17 years ago is her increased level of desperation to lock someone down before she"s a 40 year old single mother.
Ummm 32 - 17 does not = 20.

She wasn"t desperate to lock down a baby-daddy, she was married to the babydaddy until she was 26ish..

P.S. when she"s 40, assuming she didn"t have any more kids, all of her kids should theoretically be out living on their own.
 

Rune_foh

shitlord
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Antarius said:
Ummm 32 - 17 does not = 20.

She wasn"t desperate to lock down a baby-daddy, she was married to the babydaddy until she was 26ish..

P.S. when she"s 40, assuming she didn"t have any more kids, all of her kids should theoretically be out living on their own.
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Heavens_Myst_foh

shitlord
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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Science time. You also have a lot more of an effect on your offspring other than your sperm, even when you don"t raise it.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/09/op...=1&ref=opinion
His researchers put small normal field mice in cages with big, nasty retired breeders, and let the big mice attack the smaller mice for about five minutes a day. If a mean mouse and a little mouse were pried apart by means of a screen, the torturer would claw at the screen, trying to get at his victim. All this subjected the field mouse to ?a horrendous level of stress,? Dr. Nestler told me. This process was repeated for 10 days, with a different tormentor placed in each cage every day. By the time the torture stopped, about two-thirds of the field mice exhibited permanent and quantifiable symptoms of the mouse equivalents of depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. The researchers then bred these unhappy mice with normal females. When their pups grew up, they tended to overreact to social stress, becoming so anxious and depressed that they wouldn?t even drink sugar water. They avoided other mice as much as they could.

Dr. Nestler is not sure exactly how the mouse fathers? trauma communicates itself to their offspring. It may be via sperm, or it may be through some more complicated dance of nature and nurture that involves sperm but also other factors. When instead of letting the ?defeated? mice mate, Dr. Nestler?s researchers killed them, harvested their sperm and impregnated the female mice through artificial means, the offspring were largely normal. Perhaps the sperm was harvested at the wrong stage in the process, says Dr. Nestler.Or maybe the female mouse picked up some signal when she had sex with the dysfunctional male mouse, some telltale pheromone or squeak, that made her body withhold nutrition and care from his pups. Females have been known to not invest in the spawn of non-optimal males, an outcome that makes perfect evolutionary sense ? why waste resources on a loser?
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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So the female mouse get legit raped and tried to abort the baby is what they"re saying
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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This idea of "be yourself" is such a cliche response that has no meaning. There is no "yourself" when it comes to interacting with other people. You are constantly being taught how to behave and act by other people, and in turn you are doing the same to them. That article nicely summarizes the idea in a simple way, but it"s a core tenant of psychology. You may find it relatively stable now, but it only developed that way because it worked in the past. No doubt you"ve had some traits along the way that no longer exist because they didn"t work. If suddenly everyone on the planet started hating personality qualities like yours, you"d change "yourself" (or become bitter and miserable).

Plus, even ignoring that, the nice guy isn"t a guy "being himself." He"s modifying his behavior so that others think better of him. Being excessively nice isn"t a natural behavior for nearly everyone who acts that way. Are they acting that way to their family? Doubtful. By following the advice in the article that person is actually becoming more like "himself" by balancing the give and take to more approximate how they"d interact with people they aren"t trying to impress.


The only difference between you and someone who consciously tries to learn how to better interact with other people is that the other person knows it"s happening.
 

Kilivek_foh

shitlord
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But it"s social conditioning. That"s the problem. "Learning how to interact with others" is a euphemism; it"s cultural and societal patterning onto an individual,and most of those patterns are not conducive to mental health.

If you follow articles like that, what are you? Who are you? Where is your humanity? You"re told what to do, be, act, and say along every step of the way. You"re an automaton, who"s dressed fashionably and says the things society tells you to say in order to breed, or again, to use another euphemism, to be "successful".

If you really dig down into it, you see that"s not only a sad state of affairs as far as individuals are concerned, nor is it simply mentally unhealthy; some of the traits are objectively pathologicallyforms of insanity, yet because they"re patterned by the culture and most everyone shares them, the neurosis doesn"t manifest.

So no, my prescription is completely, totally, and wholly be yourself, and by "yourself" I mean act in a manner that doesn"t require your thinking of how to act, just act. If women don"t respond as you"d like, that"s fine. It"s more important to act as you want than get some expected response from the act itself. See my above as to why.