Gravy's Cooking Thread

Gavinmad · Nov 21, 2023

popsicledeath said:
Yeah was thinking it could end up with too much wet and turn soupy. Or it would be amazing with crispy potatoes, then a cheesy creamy layer, then mashed. Either way will have to try it. Hard to mess up potatoes.

Girlfriend's grandpa complains anytime anyone brings anything good or wants to have a holiday at their house, so he insists on doing everything at his place then complains that he always has to do everything. And we offer to help because he complains nobody helps and then insists we don't bring anything or help and then complains about all of it.

Did mashed potatoes twice. He complained they were too garlicy one year and too peppery another. So non holiday we got to try a third time with no pepper or anything other than a bit of salt and he complained they were over seasoned and salty.

Did the hassle back potatoes once. He complained because he said he wanted au gratin so insisted to do his from a box from then on.

First year in our house we were allowed to host Thanksgiving (and only that once in 8 years now) but he insisted on (over)cooking the turkey at his place and transporting it over. Then made a big show of insisting I carve it since it was my house. I refused because that seemed very gay to me to carve another man's meat.

Another year I had already bought a turkey, so he let me cover over to roast it at his house, then I had to run errands and it magically finished an hour early and was dry as hell but swears he didn't fiddle with the temp.

I should probably start posting in the divorce thread some day because from a food perspective in particular her family is a unique form of hell.

So, our plans are hope we get sick and don't have to attend and then live vicariously through all of you heroes that still give me some measure of hope some families out there are still eating good food for the holidays.

This is just weird to me on so many levels, both that yall tolerate it and that the grandpa is so incapable of controlling his ego. Couple years back I persuaded my mom to let me try dry brining the turkey. She and my sister both said flat out it was the best turkey they'd ever had and instead of getting upset about me dunking on her cooking or muscling in on her territory, she insisted that I handle the bird every year since and even started doing her own spice rubs on other occasions.

it magically finished an hour early and was dry as hell but swears he didn't fiddle with the temp.

This in particular would make me completely lose my shit and I wouldn't hesitate to ruin thanksgiving (even more than the terrible turkey would) by getting right up in the perpetrators face over it.

Sanrith Descartes · Nov 21, 2023

First attempt at a pecan pie. Baking is so different from cooking. Yes the crust is garbage. I kept banging it trying to tent the pie near the end. Crust tasted sort of bland. The filling came out tasty though. Next iteration I might try using a graham cracker crust instead.

Dr.Retarded · Nov 21, 2023

Sanrith Descartes said:
First attempt at a pecan pie. Baking is so different from cooking. Yes the crust is garbage. I kept banging it trying to tent the pie near the end. Crust tasted sort of bland. The filling came out tasty though. Next iteration I might try using a graham cracker crust instead.

View attachment 501372

Negative on the Graham cracker crust. That's for cold / creamy pies. It won't hold up with the filling. Remake some new dough, but use crisco or lard, or just use a premade one.

I don't do a lot of baking but I do know you never screw and swap out stuff for tried and true desserts. It's very easy to screw it up, and I'm speaking from experience.

Here, Commander's Palace recipe. Can't go wrong with it. Pretty sure it's the one my mom used when I was growing up.

Dr.Retarded · Nov 21, 2023

Sanrith Descartes if I'm not mistaken you also want to make certain your butter is super cold when making the dough. I think really good pie crust is supposed to be cold when you're working the dough. I think that's how you get a flakier more buttery crust.

The weird thing with pie crust is doesn't typically have a lot of flavor but it's more about texture. It's just that vehicle you have for whatever filling you're running with. One that comes out with good texture, and just a nice buttery flavor it's typically good to go.

Fogel · Nov 21, 2023

Dr.Retarded said:
Sanrith Descartes if I'm not mistaken you also want to make certain your butter is super cold when making the dough. I think really good pie crust is supposed to be cold when you're working the dough. I think that's how you get a flakier more buttery crust.

The weird thing with pie crust is doesn't typically have a lot of flavor but it's more about texture. It's just that vehicle you have for whatever filling you're running with. One that comes out with good texture, and just a nice buttery flavor it's typically good to go.

Yes, you need cold butter/lard for pie crust. Also, you can't over mix, the more you mix, the more gluten you develop and the tougher it is. Just cut it in enough so that its blended but not fully mixed it, its okay if it isn't 100% mixed in. If you want to min/max your crust flakyness, sub in some vodka for the water. Honestly, pie crust is one of the few times I'll go for store bought instead of home made. The difference isn't that large, and if you're making a ton of pies, doing it yourself will eat up your whole day on just making pie crust.

Edit: It also handles better when cold, but if you go too cold it'll be too hard to roll out.

TJT · Nov 22, 2023

Can any of y'all hit me with the ideal nacho cheese sauce recipe? I want it to be more liquidy. I have it mostly right but I've learned that you really need the exact right kind of cheese for it to get the right consistency. Unless you use Velveeta or something which I don't want to do.

I have the flavor right but not the consistency.

Dr.Retarded · Nov 22, 2023

TJT said:
Can any of y'all hit me with the ideal nacho cheese sauce recipe? I want it to be more liquidy. I have it mostly right but I've learned that you really need the exact right kind of cheese for it to get the right consistency. Unless you use Velveeta or something which I don't want to do.

I have the flavor right but not the consistency.

Are you trying to mimic like ballpark nacho cheese, or just doing chips and dip?

I mean it's hard not to immediately go towards American cheese just because if it's meltiness, and it's got that specific flavor. If you're just looking to make a queso I'd roll with chef John:

Anytime I ever make queso, it's normally pepper jack, mild or medium cheddar, and American. It's definitely got a different flavor than just melting a block of Velveeta and throwing in a can of Rotel. However there is something to be said about that tried and dream block of fake cheese method. It's definitely its own flavor and enjoyable.

lurkingdirk · Nov 22, 2023

All the kids are home, a couple boyfriends, too, and some of my family. House is packed, and I slow cooked a pork butt on the bbq. Kept the heat on very low, not under the pork (pork on the far side of the bbq), and kept adding wrapped packets of wet hickory chips. Worked just as well as a smoker would have, and it was fucking delicious. It was big enough to feed all 15 people around my dining table and still have leftovers for sandwiches.

I slaughtered two geese this morning so they could hang for the day. They are going to be delicious too. I love goose so much better than turkey.

Dr.Retarded · Nov 23, 2023

lurkingdirk said:
All the kids are home, a couple boyfriends, too, and some of my family. House is packed, and I slow cooked a pork butt on the bbq. Kept the heat on very low, not under the pork (pork on the far side of the bbq), and kept adding wrapped packets of wet hickory chips. Worked just as well as a smoker would have, and it was fucking delicious. It was big enough to feed all 15 people around my dining table and still have leftovers for sandwiches.

I slaughtered two geese this morning so they could hang for the day. They are going to be delicious too. I love goose so much better than turkey.

Wish I had geese. I've never gotten to try it. Is it similar to duck, which I love?

Sounds like a great thanksgiving though.

Aldarion · Nov 23, 2023

lurkingdirk said:
I slaughtered two geese this morning so they could hang for the day. They are going to be delicious too. I love goose so much better than turkey.

Pics. Every goose roasting video I've gotten to the end and thought it looked inferior to turkey and pretty unappetizing all around. I keep thinking it sounds good, but the pics keep convincing me otherwise. help a brother out!

Dr.Retarded · Nov 23, 2023

Aldarion said:
Pics. Every goose roasting video I've gotten to the end and thought it looked inferior to turkey and pretty unappetizing all around. I keep thinking it sounds good, but the pics keep convincing me otherwise. help a brother out!

Hear, hear!

lurkingdirk · Nov 23, 2023

Dr.Retarded said:
Wish I had geese. I've never gotten to try it. Is it similar to duck, which I love?

Sounds like a great thanksgiving though.

It's less greasy than duck. I love duck, too. With both goose and duck you have to put them in a roasting pan with a rack so they don't cook in their own grease. Getting the skin crispy is key, I sear as much of the skin as I can in a cast-iron skillet before putting it in the oven. I also use a lot off citrus with a goose. I microplane all the skin off about 4 lemons and limes, mix it with salt, pepper, and chinese five spice and rub it all over the skin of the goose. Then put the lemons and limes cut up inside the bird. The citrus makes it moist and delicious.

Aldarion said:
Pics. Every goose roasting video I've gotten to the end and thought it looked inferior to turkey and pretty unappetizing all around. I keep thinking it sounds good, but the pics keep convincing me otherwise. help a brother out!

I'll try to remember to take pics. The meat of goose is so much superior to turkey it makes me think I'll never cook turkey again. Though I have a lot of wild turkeys on my property, and I should probably try to get one and cook it.

Dr.Retarded · Nov 23, 2023

lurkingdirk said:
It's less greasy than duck. I love duck, too. With both goose and duck you have to put them in a roasting pan with a rack so they don't cook in their own grease. Getting the skin crispy is key, I sear as much of the skin as I can in a cast-iron skillet before putting it in the oven. I also use a lot off citrus with a goose. I microplane all the skin off about 4 lemons and limes, mix it with salt, pepper, and chinese five spice and rub it all over the skin of the goose. Then put the lemons and limes cut up inside the bird. The citrus makes it moist and delicious.

I'll try to remember to take pics. The meat of goose is so much superior to turkey it makes me think I'll never cook turkey again. Though I have a lot of wild turkeys on my property, and I should probably try to get one and cook it.

Sounds delicious. Had no idea it was less greasy, now I really want to cook one

. I do something similar with duck. Kind of western / French flavors vs Asian, but try to do basically Peking duck prep methods

Use an air compressor to loosen the skin, and then bathe it in a hot solution of water, soy, Worcestershire, rosemary, sage, garlic orange, lemon and honey. Tighten the skin back up, and let air dry in the fridge for a few days. Throw some type of dry brine on while its in there.

Usually roast in the Big Easy, and take a tall boy of Stella Artois with herbs and such for shoving in the cavity. Super crispy skin and juicy meat. That's a lot of prep but that's why I maybe do it only once a year for the holidays, usually Christmas.

lurkingdirk · Nov 23, 2023

Dr.Retarded said:
Sounds delicious. Had no idea it was less greasy, now I really want to cook one

. I do something similar with duck. Kind of western / French flavors vs Asian, but try to do basically Peking duck prep methods

Use an air compressor to loosen the skin, and then bathe it in a hot solution of water, soy, Worcestershire, rosemary, sage, garlic orange, lemon and honey. Tighten the skin back up, and let air dry in the fridge for a few days. Throw some type of dry brine on while its in there.

Usually roast in the Big Easy, and take a tall boy of Stella Artois with herbs and such for shoving in the cavity. Super crispy skin and juicy meat. That's a lot of prep but that's why I maybe do it only once a year for the holidays, usually Christmas.

That sound delicious too. Never heard of anyone using an air compressor to loosen the skin. Now I have to look that up.

Last time I cooked a turkey I hand-pulled the skin away so I could rub garlic butter under it, trying to make it not dry. Worked okay. I also then wrapped the turkey breast with thick-cut bacon. Probably the best turkey I've ever had. Still not as good as goose or duck.

Dr.Retarded · Nov 23, 2023

lurkingdirk said:
That sound delicious too. Never heard of anyone using an air compressor to loosen the skin. Now I have to look that up.

Last time I cooked a turkey I hand-pulled the skin away so I could rub garlic butter under it, trying to make it not dry. Worked okay. I also then wrapped the turkey breast with thick-cut bacon. Probably the best turkey I've ever had. Still not as good as goose or duck.

I saw it on the original Asian iron chef show many years ago. Iron chef China did it making duck, and they explained it was to loosen the skin to help the fat render during roasting, resulting in super crispy skin. I used to just run a spoon underneath the skin that pry it up off the meat, but air compressor works fantastic. Can't imagine you couldn't do the same thing for goose.

LiquidDeath · Nov 23, 2023

Fuck turkey.

Captain Suave · Nov 23, 2023

Grilled turkey is best turkey. Having 30 over for dinner tonight. Half the limbs of two turkeys pictured, breasts in the oven and finished on the grill. Started yesterday with 2 pumpkin, 2 pecan, peach, and apples pies.

Sanrith Descartes · Nov 23, 2023

My pie crust game is s-tier. All the fillings were A+ though. Caramel Apple, Pumpkin, Pecan.

I need to go to pie crust remedial training.

popsicledeath · Nov 23, 2023

Did mashed au gratin with soaking the slices in cream and the adding some to the top. Looked soupy enough I was worried, but soaked in and was really good. Probably could have done more cream. Not sure how much the cream soak helped, but it worked at least. Didn't have enough slices so had to lay them down, next time will do them upright like hassle back. My new favorite potato dish and pretty easy to do.

popsicledeath · Nov 23, 2023

Sanrith Descartes said:
My pie crust game is s-tier. All the fillings were A+ though. Caramel Apple, Pumpkin, Pecan.

I need to go to pie crust remedial training.

We're to the point either store bought or I just use the pie crust as a bowl. My girlfriend makes a chocolate pie that just ends up being mousse because the crust always fuses to the dish or crumbles.

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Gravy's Cooking Thread

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole

Sanrith Descartes

Veteran of a thousand threadban wars

Dr.Retarded

Dr.Retarded

Fogel

Mr. Poopybutthole

TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole

Dr.Retarded

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint

Dr.Retarded

Aldarion

Egg Nazi

Dr.Retarded

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint

Dr.Retarded

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint

Dr.Retarded

LiquidDeath

Magnus Deadlift the Fucktiger

Captain Suave

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.

Sanrith Descartes

Veteran of a thousand threadban wars

popsicledeath

Potato del Grande

popsicledeath

Potato del Grande