Gravy's Cooking Thread

Koushirou · Dec 19, 2023

Probably only a step above sand cooking, but I tried making chicken breast and apples in a cider reduction with cinnamon. I managed to fuck up something so damn simple and now I’m all fucking depressed. The chicken breasts were too damn thick and I had to cut them in half mid cook and lost all the juice, so it’s dry as shit and also somehow still managed to be undercooked in some spots. The sauce was fine, the apples were fine, and my scratch mashed potatoes were fine, though had to reheat them because I made them too early. But the chicken was fucked. I’m a pretty shit cook, but I can at least make some basic meals, but just frustrating anytime I try to make something a little more complex and cock it up. Oh well.

Gavinmad · Dec 19, 2023

Koushirou said:
Probably only a step above sand cooking, but I tried making chicken breast and apples in a cider reduction with cinnamon. I managed to fuck up something so damn simple and now I’m all fucking depressed. The chicken breasts were too damn thick and I had to cut them in half mid cook and lost all the juice, so it’s dry as shit and also somehow still managed to be undercooked in some spots. The sauce was fine, the apples were fine, and my scratch mashed potatoes were fine, though had to reheat them because I made them too early. But the chicken was fucked. I’m a pretty shit cook, but I can at least make some basic meals, but just frustrating anytime I try to make something a little more complex and cock it up. Oh well.

View attachment 504973

How often do you re-attempt a dish that didn't go well the first try?

ToeMissile · Dec 19, 2023

Chicken is a pain in the ass; don’t want it to be dry, don’t want to give anyone food poisoning.

I bet it’s better than you think. Don’t beat yourself up.

Dr.Retarded · Dec 19, 2023

Koushirou said:
Probably only a step above sand cooking, but I tried making chicken breast and apples in a cider reduction with cinnamon. I managed to fuck up something so damn simple and now I’m all fucking depressed. The chicken breasts were too damn thick and I had to cut them in half mid cook and lost all the juice, so it’s dry as shit and also somehow still managed to be undercooked in some spots. The sauce was fine, the apples were fine, and my scratch mashed potatoes were fine, though had to reheat them because I made them too early. But the chicken was fucked. I’m a pretty shit cook, but I can at least make some basic meals, but just frustrating anytime I try to make something a little more complex and cock it up. Oh well.

View attachment 504973

Well you did cook it with apples, bleh. That's just me though.

Looks like it was boneless skinless, next time do chicken thighs they're a lot more forgiving. Better do bone-in skin on. It's not that hard, just take some practice like

Gavinmad was hinting at. I think it's safe to say we've all screwed up chicken in the past, it's pretty easy to do. One thing you could do is velvet the chicken but I'm not sure if that works on a whole big piece, but maybe if you pounded it out like for a schnitzel.

Fogel · Dec 19, 2023

Koushirou said:
Probably only a step above sand cooking, but I tried making chicken breast and apples in a cider reduction with cinnamon. I managed to fuck up something so damn simple and now I’m all fucking depressed. The chicken breasts were too damn thick and I had to cut them in half mid cook and lost all the juice, so it’s dry as shit and also somehow still managed to be undercooked in some spots. The sauce was fine, the apples were fine, and my scratch mashed potatoes were fine, though had to reheat them because I made them too early. But the chicken was fucked. I’m a pretty shit cook, but I can at least make some basic meals, but just frustrating anytime I try to make something a little more complex and cock it up. Oh well.

View attachment 504973

Live and learn. Rule of thumb is Thick items = low heat longer cook time, thin items = high heat shorter cook times. Or get a Sous Vide. Also, you fucked up something more important than the chicken, the presentation!

Sauce on the edge of the fucking plate!!!!!@#@#!@

Lanx · Dec 19, 2023

Koushirou said:
Probably only a step above sand cooking, but I tried making chicken breast and apples in a cider reduction with cinnamon. I managed to fuck up something so damn simple and now I’m all fucking depressed. The chicken breasts were too damn thick and I had to cut them in half mid cook and lost all the juice, so it’s dry as shit and also somehow still managed to be undercooked in some spots. The sauce was fine, the apples were fine, and my scratch mashed potatoes were fine, though had to reheat them because I made them too early. But the chicken was fucked. I’m a pretty shit cook, but I can at least make some basic meals, but just frustrating anytime I try to make something a little more complex and cock it up. Oh well.

View attachment 504973

anytime you see a recipe call for chicken breast, substitute boneless chicken thighs, it'll be more forgiving cook better and taste better.

if someone asks you to cook chicken breast, still give them thigh instead, and they'll wonder why youre able to make tasty chicken breast

Sanrith Descartes · Dec 19, 2023

Koushirou said:
Probably only a step above sand cooking, but I tried making chicken breast and apples in a cider reduction with cinnamon. I managed to fuck up something so damn simple and now I’m all fucking depressed. The chicken breasts were too damn thick and I had to cut them in half mid cook and lost all the juice, so it’s dry as shit and also somehow still managed to be undercooked in some spots. The sauce was fine, the apples were fine, and my scratch mashed potatoes were fine, though had to reheat them because I made them too early. But the chicken was fucked. I’m a pretty shit cook, but I can at least make some basic meals, but just frustrating anytime I try to make something a little more complex and cock it up. Oh well.

View attachment 504973

When using full size breasts I almost always butterfly them or pound them with the mallet. A long roast in the oven is the only time I keep them that thick.

Control · Dec 19, 2023

Koushirou said:
Probably only a step above sand cooking, but I tried making chicken breast and apples in a cider reduction with cinnamon. I managed to fuck up something so damn simple and now I’m all fucking depressed. The chicken breasts were too damn thick and I had to cut them in half mid cook and lost all the juice, so it’s dry as shit and also somehow still managed to be undercooked in some spots. The sauce was fine, the apples were fine, and my scratch mashed potatoes were fine, though had to reheat them because I made them too early. But the chicken was fucked. I’m a pretty shit cook, but I can at least make some basic meals, but just frustrating anytime I try to make something a little more complex and cock it up. Oh well.

View attachment 504973

Gavinmad said:
How often do you re-attempt a dish that didn't go well the first try?

Aldarion · Dec 19, 2023

despite being the most commonly cooked cut of chicken, boneless skinless breasts are also one of the cuts that most often turns out badly. By which I mean, if you didnt do it perfectly youre in good company.

I'm on board with all the suggestions so far. Pound it. Bread it. Butterfly it. Slow roast it. Anything but leave it thick and cook on high heat.

My favorite by far though has to be grilled over charcoal or wood. If you control the temperature just right (low), for my money, a charcoal grilled chicken breast is one of the best ways to cook it and seems like it would go well with the sides you had.

Gavinmad · Dec 19, 2023

Also if you're handy with a knife (or willing to learn, it isn't hard) it's typically a fair bit cheaper to buy a whole chicken and do your own cutting. You get two breasts, two tenderloins, two leg quarters, and a meaty carcass to make stock with once you've accumulated a couple. You could harvest the wings too if you're feeling particularly motivated but I normally leave them with the carcass.

Koushirou · Dec 19, 2023

I pretty much never re-attempt if I’ve fucked up. I know obviously I’m never going to get it right if I don’t practice, but it feels bad throwing money and time away once and I really don’t want to repeat that (especially when I have to tell the hungry, tired husband that sorry, gonna have to get something else for dinner). Knew I should have butterflied them as soon as I saw how thick they were. Fuckers were massive, goddamn.

Thanks for the suggestions and the pep talks. I fucking hate cooking already and messing up gets me a special brand of triggered.

Dr.Retarded · Dec 19, 2023

Koushirou said:
I pretty much never re-attempt if I’ve fucked up. I know obviously I’m never going to get it right if I don’t practice, but it feels bad throwing money and time away once and I really don’t want to repeat that (especially when I have to tell the hungry, tired husband that sorry, gonna have to get something else for dinner). Knew I should have butterflied them as soon as I saw how thick they were. Fuckers were massive, goddamn.

Thanks for the suggestions and the pep talks. I fucking hate cooking already and messing up gets me a special brand of triggered.

If you've got some leftovers, chop the chicken into bites / slices, throw in a bowl with a tablespoon of water, toss a plate on top, microwave for maybe 30-40 secs and toss onto a nice salad. That's an easy way to salvage overcooked chicken breast. The moisture and texture of the vegetables along with the dressing will counteract any dryness.

Other option is to do the same thing by making some sort of pasta dish with maybe an alfredo sauce that's nice and easy even if you use one out of a jar. Same sort of deal has the salad as far as dealing with dryness. Hey sometimes convenient is nice.

Lanx · Dec 19, 2023

Koushirou said:
I pretty much never re-attempt if I’ve fucked up. I know obviously I’m never going to get it right if I don’t practice, but it feels bad throwing money and time away once and I really don’t want to repeat that (especially when I have to tell the hungry, tired husband that sorry, gonna have to get something else for dinner). Knew I should have butterflied them as soon as I saw how thick they were. Fuckers were massive, goddamn.

Thanks for the suggestions and the pep talks. I fucking hate cooking already and messing up gets me a special brand of triggered.

also do you know your oven? if the reciped called for baking the chicken breast at 350, that means putting the tray on the bottom most rack, if it's in the middle or top rack, then youre already loosing lots of heat.

baking is bottom rack
convection is all racks (why not just use convection for everything? some baking is sensitive like macarons or souflee and shit and can't tolerate the forced air)
broiler top rack if you want to roast the meat and get a good color

also if youre not confident in your oven, or you don't know your oven, get an oven thermometer

Rubbermaid Commercial Products Stainless Steel Monitoring Thermometer for Oven/Grill/Meat/Food, 60-580 Degrees Fahrenheit Temperature Range, Easy to Read Food Thermometer For Cooking

and see if your temps are true (don't immediately check the temp once pre-heat hits 350, it'll read low b/c thats only reading the oven air temp, not stuff that is inside, so the thermometer itself also has to heat, it's also why some of us add extra time in our ovens cuz we're lazy and leave our pizza steels/pizza stones in there b/c it's just a hunk of mass sucking up heat)

i don't bake much and i don't know my oven after 2years here, in fact when i did move in and tested both ovens (upper/lower) they were off by 20/40 degrees, and they were new! (these ppl remodeled the same year and sold) but i know my air fryer cuz i use it weekly, so it's also about knowing the stuff you got (like we'll know where the cold/hot spots are on our grills, just from experience)

Koushirou · Dec 19, 2023

Lanx said:
also do you know your oven? if the reciped called for baking the chicken breast at 350, that means putting the tray on the bottom most rack, if it's in the middle or top rack, then youre already loosing lots of heat.

baking is bottom rack
convection is all racks (why not just use convection for everything? some baking is sensitive like macarons or souflee and shit and can't tolerate the forced air)
broiler top rack if you want to roast the meat and get a good color

also if youre not confident in your oven, or you don't know your oven, get an oven thermometer

Rubbermaid Commercial Products Stainless Steel Monitoring Thermometer for Oven/Grill/Meat/Food, 60-580 Degrees Fahrenheit Temperature Range, Easy to Read Food Thermometer For Cooking

and see if your temps are true (don't immediately check the temp once pre-heat hits 350, it'll read low b/c thats only reading the oven air temp, not stuff that is inside, so the thermometer itself also has to heat, it's also why some of us add extra time in our ovens cuz we're lazy and leave our pizza steels/pizza stones in there b/c it's just a hunk of mass sucking up heat)

i don't bake much and i don't know my oven after 2years here, in fact when i did move in and tested both ovens (upper/lower) they were off by 20/40 degrees, and they were new! (these ppl remodeled the same year and sold) but i know my air fryer cuz i use it weekly, so it's also about knowing the stuff you got (like we'll know where the cold/hot spots are on our grills, just from experience)

This was a stove job, not the oven. Ive managed to never fuck up baking chicken, at least, but this recipe I did in my cast iron.

Here’s the recipe, if anyone else feels like making it. If you do, let me know if it actually tastes good.

https://recipecenter.martinsfoods.com/recipes/243229/skillet-chicken-with-apples-and-cider

Control · Dec 19, 2023

Koushirou said:
especially when I have to tell the hungry, tired husband that sorry, gonna have to get something else for dinner

Just one perspective, but as someone who stays as far away from the kitchen as possible, I really appreciate that my wife is willing to work the kitchen magic, and I know that a lot of it comes from trying new things and experimenting with stuff. Even when things occasionally go sideways, I still appreciate the time and effort that went into it (and I usually think it's still pretty good anyway even if she thinks it turned out like trash). Worst case, I end up with McDonalds or pb&j lol, not ideal, but I'll live. I just see all that as an investment into future tasty dinners.

Lanx · Dec 19, 2023

Control said:
Just one perspective, but as someone who stays as far away from the kitchen as possible, I really appreciate that my wife is willing to work the kitchen magic, and I know that a lot of it comes from trying new things and experimenting with stuff. Even when things occasionally go sideways, I still appreciate the time and effort that went into it (and I usually think it's still pretty good anyway even if she thinks it turned out like trash). Worst case, I end up with McDonalds or pb&j lol, not ideal, but I'll live. I just see all that as an investment into future tasty dinners.

yea we all remember our fuck ups, recently i show'd a vid of 2 pizza girls fucking up a pizza and spilling it, i knew how it went bad b/c i did the same exact shit, my outdoor pizza oven was black and tar'd from spilled cheese till i got it right.

like i keep my pizza peel edge sharp, it won't give a paper cut, but if i did some kung fu w/ it, there will be heads flying

Sanrith Descartes · Dec 20, 2023

Koushirou said:
I pretty much never re-attempt if I’ve fucked up. I know obviously I’m never going to get it right if I don’t practice, but it feels bad throwing money and time away once and I really don’t want to repeat that (especially when I have to tell the hungry, tired husband that sorry, gonna have to get something else for dinner). Knew I should have butterflied them as soon as I saw how thick they were. Fuckers were massive, goddamn.

Thanks for the suggestions and the pep talks. I fucking hate cooking already and messing up gets me a special brand of triggered.

You can also slice the whole breasts into strips or cube them. I slice, bread and deep fry when I cut into strips.

Dr.Retarded · Dec 22, 2023

So Christmas dinner is a few days away, what's on the menu this year?

Doing a rib roast, but trying to figure out what method to cook it. Really want to do the rotisserie on the Weber kettle, but I've always gotten the best results just with the reverse sear. I think I can make it happen with the rotisserie, but the other way is just so easy. Was going to make a potato gratin, creamed spinach, roasted root vegetables, sauteed mushrooms, Caesar salad, and jus / horseradish sauce.

If anybody's got a good idea or better method for doing a rib roast I'm all ears.

They have them on sale at HEB for 3.88 per lb this year for anyone in TX. Mind you this is just select, but I was able to pick out a couple that looked pretty much like choice, figured I'd freeze whole or cut into steaks. Prime was 16 bucks I think, and I am not paying that.

lurkingdirk · Dec 22, 2023

Dr.Retarded said:
So Christmas dinner is a few days away, what's on the menu this year?

Doing a rib roast, but trying to figure out what method to cook it. Really want to do the rotisserie on the Weber kettle, but I've always gotten the best results just with the reverse sear. I think I can make it happen with the rotisserie, but the other way is just so easy. Was going to make a potato gratin, creamed spinach, roasted root vegetables, sauteed mushrooms, Caesar salad, and jus / horseradish sauce.

If anybody's got a good idea or better method for doing a rib roast I'm all ears.

They have them on sale at HEB for 3.88 per lb this year for anyone in TX. Mind you this is just select, but I was able to pick out a couple that looked pretty much like choice, figured I'd freeze whole or cut into steaks. Prime was 16 bucks I think, and I am not paying that.

Killing a goose tomorrow to hang it for Christmas day. Home grown potatoes for mashed potatoes, home grown brussel sprouts and beans, cranberry fluff, stuffing (I have an amazing recipe that uses home made bread, cranberries, stuffing, and lots of stuff), applesauce (home grown apples), apple pie, pumpkin pie (home grown pumpkins), starting with butternut squash soup (homegrown squash). I think we'll also have a cheese course because I am almost certain we'll have goat cheese ready in time.

Dr.Retarded · Dec 22, 2023

lurkingdirk said:
Killing a goose tomorrow to hang it for Christmas day. Home grown potatoes for mashed potatoes, home grown brussel sprouts and beans, cranberry fluff, stuffing (I have an amazing recipe that uses home made bread, cranberries, stuffing, and lots of stuff), applesauce (home grown apples), apple pie, pumpkin pie (home grown pumpkins), starting with butternut squash soup (homegrown squash). I think we'll also have a cheese course because I am almost certain we'll have goat cheese ready in time.

That sounds like a delicious menu, asshole

.

Damnit, I really wanted to do goose this year but I couldn't get one of the store, so I shifted gears and settled for the rib roast. I was honestly surprised they didn't have any but maybe they only got a few in and sold them out. I don't believe it's a pretty popular item, and I should have maybe talked to the butcher manager when I went to the store this morning, but whatever. I might try to pop in early in the morning and see if they've got any tucked away in the back, that way I can at least get one and finally try it out.

Christmas Eve we're doing our charcuterie smorgasbord and probably some cocktail shrimp or something. Christmas day will be the full production

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Gravy's Cooking Thread

Koushirou

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