You should defiently give Grim Dawn a try if you're into ARPGs. The new season for D3 and PoE new league is out and I havent even bothered playing either of them.
Also just to add on to Pyros some items are targetable like the Dark Ones and Kriegs sets. I think the leveling set Lokarr is targetable too. But anyway you get those and then grind bosses until you get the items you need. Also there are faction grinds in the game for items and blueprints. I dont think it would take you months to max them out. I know the three witch cult factions can be leveled at the same time.
Pyros.... with Grim item assistant stash mod is it true that you can accidentally delete all your gear? I was afraid to install that mod.
The one I used, I forgot the name but it's the one that also lets you cheat if you want to, like full resets including base class and add items and what not, I used the cheats sparringly to fix shit I didn't care about like having to farm every rep and remember where every single stupid enchant and augment is sold and just instead dropped a bunch in the shared stash(they usually can't be put in the stash). It created backup files automatically so even if you fucked up something you could just load a backup. Can always make separate backups yourself too. I didn't run into any issue though and not entirely sure how you'd manage to delete everything, but maybe it was the other stash item that was simpler to use but had less features.
And yeah there's a few targetable sets but they only work for very specific builds, and farming them isn't that easy you need a fairly good character to begin with. Well Krieg is easy but Dark and Lokarr are fairly challenging. That's why Krieg is often recommended as a starter set using a Death Knight generic build where you then respec into Krieg DK specifically once you have farmed it. It takes quite a while to farm though, I think it took me 6 hours or something like that? Obviously it's RNG so could be more or less but it's not like that fast.
Then the generic sets are basically purely random so these are the ones that can take a stupid amount of time to farm. It helped with the Forgotten Gods set piece reroll thing, but that's costly as fuck(at least back when I played), so it's not the best solution either.
It's a great game if you think you'll play 200+ hours basically, and it's a good game if you just want to go through the story once, but if you're a bit inbetween it might be lacking since once you get to endgame there's not that much to do and it get repetitive pretty quickly but you don't gain stuff quickly so you have to go at it for a while. On the plus side, there's a lot of one-time loot(chests and shrines) which means every new character you get to max level will generate a ton of items the first time, so it heavily favors just rolling new stuff. I personally liked that aspect as I'm usually a reroll fiend but not for everyone I guess.
In a way the game is a bit like a rogue-lite, where you're improving your account as a whole rather than a specific character.