Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
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Have you cheated?
- Thread starter Anemone_sl
- Start date
I dated a girl for about 8 months. After the relationship ended, I found out that she was using me to cheat on her boyfriend. They officially broke up at some point during the relationship, and then she cheated on me with him at the end.
iannis
Musty Nester
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I'm not really sure. Which is to say if either of the girls had ever accused me of cheating I would have taken the lumps for it -- but I didn't feel like what I was doing at the time was cheating and still honestly don't. The first was in college. I was dating a girl (had been for over a year) and we'd really never talked about monogomy... but to be fair we both assumed it. So I got drunk and laid at a party and never told her about it -- but it's not like it was a secret either, the two of them knew each other and were friendly. And to be equally fair I know she'd done similar. I dunno, it just wasn't that big of a deal -- but I guess I cheated on her.
The weird one was a good friend of mines wife. It didn't get physical, but there was an emotional investment on both our parts. When it threatened to get physical it freaked me the FUCK out and... well, I ran away like a bitch tbh. I really just didn't think about what I was doing or what was happening while I was doing it. So when my brain caught up to my dick I freaked and stopped all contact (basically hid from them) for about 2 months. I called my friend out of the blue and we had this really kind of awkward conversation about it. He didn't blame me... and he wasn't all that surprised or upset. He was in a bad spot and he knew it. They got divorced a few years later.
The weird one was a good friend of mines wife. It didn't get physical, but there was an emotional investment on both our parts. When it threatened to get physical it freaked me the FUCK out and... well, I ran away like a bitch tbh. I really just didn't think about what I was doing or what was happening while I was doing it. So when my brain caught up to my dick I freaked and stopped all contact (basically hid from them) for about 2 months. I called my friend out of the blue and we had this really kind of awkward conversation about it. He didn't blame me... and he wasn't all that surprised or upset. He was in a bad spot and he knew it. They got divorced a few years later.
I've never cheated. Given infinite opportunity I still wouldn't. I'm a hard ass about that, I can't stand disloyalty. It wouldn't just be my relationship, it's my character at stake. If you are going to cheat, just break up with the person.
Never. I love my wife, wouldn't want anyone else but her and frankly I'm lucky as hell to have such an awesome woman.
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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Look, I love my wife, I love her and my family more than anything. But all this "Never, never in a million years, she is my sun and moon and stars" shit is bs. If you don't cheat, a huge part of that reason is that you consciously avoid situations that may lead to cheating. But relationships go through ebbs and flows, everyone can be tempted, everyone can fuck up. Now I can understand saying you would never want to, and I agree with that, but taking it much further beyond that doesn't seem very realistic to me.
lindz
#DDs
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Maybe I haven't been married long enough (8 years) to have these ebbs and flows, but honestly this doesn't make sense to me. I have never found myself even thinking about cheating let alone actively avoiding situations just in case there is an opportunity. I don't believe not cheating is a decision you have to make, I honestly believe that in the right relationship it isn't even a consideration.
I have been in a relationship where I cheated, where I looked around and where I wasn't satisfied. That obviously wasn't the right relationship for me. Once I met my husband, none of that ever crossed my mind. That feels natural to me.
Dunno!
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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I'm ridiculously sleep deprived right now, I'm probably just not explaining myself well. In my head, it makes sense what I am saying. But what you say is true also. I know that I belong with my wife, I don't want anyone else, I don't think about cheating or whatever. And yet, I still exercise caution because I have seen so many cases where the person wasn't plotting to cheat, they just got into some situation and temptation prevailed. It is easy to say "I would never" sitting in front of a computer screen, a bit harder when Scarlett Johannson is begging for your penis, as she is wont to do. Obviously I don't mean that as a real example. Overall I just think taking that factor out of it is probably just a better idea.
I've come to realize after living in quite a few cities while still being young, that the odds of a girlfriend cheating on you are greatly affected by the area that you live in and what age group you're in. Obviously, anyone can cheat at any age or any location, but the odds of it happening very under many factors.
For instance, in the Midwest, I know about 20+ people that are all happily married, most with kids, and all under 30. These relationships were built mostly in the final years of high school through college. They are happy with what is available to them, and in general they don't see a benefit in cheating. They have a spouse in which they enjoy and have a sense of accomplishment in life, they don't seek improvement, they settle and enjoy.
Now out West, completely fucking different. I know even more people on the West Coast than I do in the Midwest, and NONE of them are married, and very few have happy relationships, why? Well, after living out here for a while now and being able to compare both locations, the ideology of the purpose in life is completely different than compared to the Midwest. People out here always want the next best thing, they always want to advance and make improvements on themselves, and that goes for relationships as well as life. The idea of locking into a single lifestyle, and basically ending life progression is like a raging nightmare to people out here. How this relates to relationships is that whether it is the guy or the girl, they are always on the hunt for something better, and this puts relationship stability into a shit hole. ?Why should I stay with so?n?so when I can get something better?? That is the question that the majority of people ask themselves out here, and they most often go for the seemingly better option.
Then add the fact that the odds of an attractive girl cheating on you out West are like 95%. They have millionaire twenty-somethings throwing themselves at them on a daily basis. You add a few drinks and some smooth talking, and your girl is getting fucked. It is honestly stupid wasting your time in a relationship with an attractive girl out here, not at least until 35 and she finally realizes her fake tits don?t hold up any more and the new hotter flock has taken over all the new wallets.
For instance, in the Midwest, I know about 20+ people that are all happily married, most with kids, and all under 30. These relationships were built mostly in the final years of high school through college. They are happy with what is available to them, and in general they don't see a benefit in cheating. They have a spouse in which they enjoy and have a sense of accomplishment in life, they don't seek improvement, they settle and enjoy.
Now out West, completely fucking different. I know even more people on the West Coast than I do in the Midwest, and NONE of them are married, and very few have happy relationships, why? Well, after living out here for a while now and being able to compare both locations, the ideology of the purpose in life is completely different than compared to the Midwest. People out here always want the next best thing, they always want to advance and make improvements on themselves, and that goes for relationships as well as life. The idea of locking into a single lifestyle, and basically ending life progression is like a raging nightmare to people out here. How this relates to relationships is that whether it is the guy or the girl, they are always on the hunt for something better, and this puts relationship stability into a shit hole. ?Why should I stay with so?n?so when I can get something better?? That is the question that the majority of people ask themselves out here, and they most often go for the seemingly better option.
Then add the fact that the odds of an attractive girl cheating on you out West are like 95%. They have millionaire twenty-somethings throwing themselves at them on a daily basis. You add a few drinks and some smooth talking, and your girl is getting fucked. It is honestly stupid wasting your time in a relationship with an attractive girl out here, not at least until 35 and she finally realizes her fake tits don?t hold up any more and the new hotter flock has taken over all the new wallets.
Ronaan
Molten Core Raider
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Been "the other guy" a few times and I'm not really proud. Penis needed the workout yadda yadda. I was young and an asshole.
Oh and in one case (technically two because we did it again 8 years later) I was really in love with the woman in question but she just wanted to be a cheater.
Never cheated on someone I was in a relationship with.
Oh and in one case (technically two because we did it again 8 years later) I was really in love with the woman in question but she just wanted to be a cheater.
Never cheated on someone I was in a relationship with.
When I was in Korea dating donut girl I had a female friend in Seoul who I'd go out drinking with. Later in the night she'd start giving me this look. It was the most seductive look I've ever seen, soul-piercing. I tried with all my might to fight it but I couldn't. We had the most terrible sex every time, just hating myself during and after. The next day I'd say "we're never doing this again." We'd hang out and I'd say "you better not give me that look" then we'd get drunk and she'd do it again. Happened like 5 or 6 times, and only at the end did I somehow manage to break free of her spell. Not getting plastered helps.
I still don't know why she wanted to sleep with me anyway. The sex was one of the worst I've ever had, and I'm pretty sure it was about 95% my fault.
I still don't know why she wanted to sleep with me anyway. The sex was one of the worst I've ever had, and I'm pretty sure it was about 95% my fault.
Never cheated, but came wicked close a few times. Still kicking myself in the ass for not shagging my steaming hot friend.
Pops
Avatar of War Slayer
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It's not cheating if you are drunk or out of town.
At least I got the right poster, but not the right post.
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Let me repeat this just for you, since you're telling me it's bullshit: I will NEVER cheat on my wife. Not because she's my sun and moon and stars, but because I promised her I wouldn't, and that's something I consider binding.
Is this because I'm going to avoid situations that may lead to cheating? Absolutely. I'm going to consciously avoid the situations because I chose to be married. It's really that simple. If someone's having such a miserable time with their spouse that they need to turn elsewhere, it's very simple, in my eyes, anyway -- either work to fix the marriage, or end the marriage and sleep with whoever the hell you please. I don't see any room for middle ground here unless it's agreed upon by both parties in some kind of open relationship thing (which I can't really imagine doing, but that's just my situation, not necessarily anyone else's).
I got caught leading two women on when I was young. They knew each other but didn't know that I was trying to be with both of them at the same time. They found out, it was extremely uncomfortable for everyone, they became friends and I became alone faster than I could say "oh shi-". The thing is, I was 16? at the time. I can forgive a 16-year-old for trying to test the waters, because I remember how stupid I was, and I had to learn my lesson. When I see a 26-year-old or a 36-year-old or whatever do the same thing, I have no pity whatsoever. They generally know exactly what they're doing, and if they squirm when they're caught... well, no shit, Sherlock. What did you think was going to happen?
If this sounds sanctimonious and preachy, okay, fine, I get that. But when someone says that resolving not to cheat on your spouse is unrealistic, I think that's equally so. If we can't control our impulses, we might as well head back to the caves.
Blazin
Creative Title
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I occasionally cheat on my hand by having sex with my wife.
But no never cheated, 17 yrs and counting. I will say this, "Don't get married young" the years grow long even in a good loving relationship. If more women would bring a women home every once in awhile doubt any man would cheat.
But no never cheated, 17 yrs and counting. I will say this, "Don't get married young" the years grow long even in a good loving relationship. If more women would bring a women home every once in awhile doubt any man would cheat.
Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
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meStevo
I think your wife's a bigfoot gus.
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Might have been cheated on, my first love moved in with her eventual first husband 2 weeks after our 5 yr releationship ended. 3 months later never having been on the rebound I was married. I've never cheated, but got treated like I was in my first marriage, she was cheated on by a boyfriend and despite being married never really trusted me. 1 year to the day of that first relationship ending I moved out and it was over.
