How are you doing?

Rajaah

Paperhands McGee
<Gold Donor>
5,373
8,362
48d 3h 24m
That's it. How are you doing?

I'll go first: Not good, most of my RL friends are full-on brainwashed communists that are afraid to hang out with each other in person, my family doesn't like me, I've been getting 2-6 hours of sleep on the average night due to my cat's behavior and been extremely unproductive during the day, my old injuries are acting up again and I can't take anything for them, and I've got existential dread about the direction of the country. Haven't had a girlfriend since 2018 which is by a lot the longest I've gone without one since I started having them. Spent 2019 traveling and didn't want a girlfriend, then dating became not a thing, now I don't remember how to get one and I'm not sure if I'm compatible with modern people anymore. Woke up today and actually felt like ending it (not seriously). Just a simple "I wonder if there's a painless way to go to sleep and not wake up" sort of feeling brought on by all the joylessness.

It took a lot to get out of bed, but I made a mental list of things that need to get done today and what order to do them in, now I'm gonna do that. But first I thought, one thing that'd help is if anybody ever asked how I was doing. So, how are you doing?
 

Fogel

Mr. Poopybutthole
8,553
24,426
306d 4h 25m
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Margo

Peasant
36
97
1d 6h 25m
Not bad actually. The country I live in, Sweden, has taken a very libertarian approach to all this pandemic lunacy and I've not worn masks or had any vaccines forced on me.
I just got back to playing a little EQ Project 1999 on blue and found a Swedish Enchanter who I play with during the evenings doing crazy shit we're not ready for, but somehow get through because I have good gear and he's an enchanter.
On the other hand society is crumbling, I had a coworker threaten to throw me out of a window because he was told I did a better job than him, all my old friends are insane vax-tards togeather with my extended family, but none the less, they are all coming for my daughter's birth day party and since I've basically told them that I don't need them in my life if they're spouting libtard ultimatums and followed up on it, they all have agreed with me and we are having great family get togeathers when they happen. All around me is demoralization, just a month ago some commie radfemme judge awarded a rapist kidnapper 90k dollars in damages because he was 17 when he committed the crimes and therefor shouldn't have been held the way he was... She didn't have to by law, but did anyway because... I guess because she adheres to some satanic coven that thrives on humiliating the Swedish population.
Me and the wife are doing pretty good, the kids are great, my son is thriving in school and beside that psycho on work, I enjoy it... I think that it's never been worse, but somehow I've never felt better, sleep is good, wife cooks me good meals, just too bad all my coworkers have had adverse vaccine reactions and I've worked 16 hours a day for more than a week to cover for them... Guess it's gonna be nice to get a good paycheck before christmas, but that said, the more I make the more they take.
I'm just gonna praise Jesus and do my best.
Thanks for reading my blog, I don't have social media, so I guess this is my vent.
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Leon

<Silver Donator>
4,689
15,674
92d 19h 54m
Losing my job in a couple weeks cause I won't take the 'vaccine', already had the disease (antibody tested present, re tested 3 weeks ago still there)

In the shape of my life working out 5 days a week, thanks pandemic allowing me to not have to commute most days.

So ya, living the dream I guess?
 

Rajaah

Paperhands McGee
<Gold Donor>
5,373
8,362
48d 3h 24m
I'm great.

About to lose my job.
Colonizing my brown wife nightly with a vengeance
Kid is hilarious.

Rajaah Rajaah when was the last time you read "Thus spoke Zarathustra"?

Might do you some real good

I want a brown wife. I've always gotten along way better with Latinas than white chix. Like it isn't even comparable. Unfortunately where I spend most of my time (New Hampshire) there are like zero Latinas. Maybe move to Florida?

I've never read it, but I played the hell out of Xenosaga III: Also Sprach Zarathustra.

What about it would do me some good?
 

Phazael

Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
<Gold Donor>
11,984
24,675
134d 14h 49m
Actually doing well. So glad I live in Texas, even if San Antonio skews a little blue in the middle.

I got 4 months of food and water stowed and maintained. I have my firearms and plenty of ammo. My work is busy and I am crushing it while full WAH and with offers for other jobs nearly every other day. All my shit is paid off. I shed all my liberal friends except the lawyer dude who is basically ghosting me because he is scared of his batshit lefty wife going total ham on the entire group. I have some close friends who come by regularly to hang out and do nerd shit/drink with. I have my German club to keep me occupied when I manage to have idle time. My work has backed down on the slightest hints of Vax requirements, masks, or making me come in. In fact, I have not put a mask on since april. I have zero urge to go anywhere that requires either a vax or mask and have stopped playing along completely with the charade for a while now (which is how I shed the last of my lefty former friends).

Not all roses, as I am still a fat drunk bastard. Wife is also nervously fighting the mandates from her DoD job. But honestly (and she knows this on a rational level) she could get a civ job for more money and full WAH almost instantly and she is the smartest person on her dev ops team. Plus she could just walk and I can cover us without a dip in our lifestyle at all. She is homesick and annoyed that her family is giving in to fear (my parents did too), but part of freedom is the freedom to make the wrong choice. Would love if the gyms would open the pools around here so I could get back into aqua classes to trim down a tiny bit, but no big deal.

I went through this shit before with the endless nuclear war scares of the cold war. I did not let fear stop me from living then and I am not going to lie down for a bunch of blue hairs and soy boys now. When the shit goes tits up, at least it won't be nuclear fallout. I intend on taking a few of the dipshits down with me when the time comes. But I refuse to be afraid or intimidated anymore. I will not comply. And I will not participate in the delusions of the left, either. I know it is hard to do, but at some point the key to peace of mind is simply not giving a shit about anything you cannot control or is not essential to your life. I have figured out the latter is a very narrow list, and I am happier for focusing on that.
 

Deathwing

<Bronze Donator>
14,881
5,772
178d 5h 52m
Seems to be a common theme amongst this thread. Is this what I'm missing by not opting into the politics part of the forum? Is this the wrong place to ask why people are willing to risk job/career for a "vaccine"? I have a long list of issues with it myself, just never got to the point of considering my job for it. I will be honest that my employer hasn't said one thing regarding a mandate.

Doing ok myself. The sameyness of the days are starting to wear on my wife and I. I can't tell if that's WFH or society can't move the fuck on from this pandemic.
 

Ishad

Vyemm Raider
3,813
3,601
Not bad. Working from home can be isolating, but I realized I really only like two people in the office (one of them quit recently) so the upsides out weight it. Never going back to the office, enjoying flexible schedule to workout and go bowling or to the archery range at lunch. Everything is back except for international travel. Concerts coming back was big.

Wife is overloaded at work so that sucks.
 
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wormie

<Gold Donor>
13,154
26,111
247d 11h 34m
Two months ago my girlfriend decided to break up with me. This was a woman with whom I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, to have a family with. And from everything that was communicated to me by her, she felt the same way right up to the moment of dumping me. Worst part of it all was that she didnt talk to me leading up to it and that she didnt want to even attempt to fix whatever to her seemed like the correct reason for the break up. She assumed a bunch of shit, she took things out of context and unilaterally decided that things wont work and broke it off. This breakup blew open everything that is wrong with my life and I cant, and wont, sweep it under the rug again.

I dislike my job, its not challenging, its boring, its beneath me, it has no future, its not a career, its just income. Its a dream job for 90% of the people. I work for myself, I make my own hours, I make my own rules. I am solidly into upper middle class in New York City on a single income. I do what I want and I answer to no one. But it is a job that hasnt changed in 15 years. I have made no advances, I have made no changes, its the same thing and it has nowhere to go. I hate it.

I dislike where I live, both my condo and the city. I love the access to culture that living in NYC gives me but the people that I have to deal with do not align with my view of the world. Of course I cant say I looked that hard to find people that do so its just another thing that weighs me down mentally, another thing that is my fault. Also, I have lived in the same apartment for over a decade and its the same as it was when I bought it. I did nothing to it, havent changed anything, havent fixed anything. Its in the same static state that reminds me of the static place all of me has been in. And I hate it.

I had two best friends but now I have none. One I lost to the brain rot of progressivism, he is absolutely unbearable to be around and I feel nothing but contempt towards him. The other friend had a long history of perk abuse and one day, a few years ago, he decided heroine was a good idea. Luckily he made it through that alive (and somehow fatter than before) but now he has his own life, one that is very much removed from me, one where he is someone I do not know anymore.

And now I am alone. The relationship that I used to cover up the holes in my life is gone and all I have is this exposed wound that is constantly perturbed by everything that surrounds me, everything I cant avoid. And all the things that make me miserable today, are things of my own doing. I have lead a comfortable life, everything always came easy so I never tried anything hard. I cant say I challenged myself in any way in 40 years. Everything I hate about my life is a result of my choices and its quiet overwhelming.

Needless to say, I have been thinking a bit about where I am now and how I got here and how to get out. I have come to the conclusion that if I am to fix my life, I must change. I must have a goal and I must be find something that will challenge me.

So I have stopped reading for entertainment and started reading something more intellectually demanded, psychology primarily. I stopped wasting time with porn and twitch. I almost never watched TV before and that hasnt changed and I am certain "almost never" is now "never". I dont drink more than a glass of scotch once or twice a month and dont plan on changing this. I dont smoke. I started taking hour long daily walks and started lifting weights again. I have chosen a path for a career that I will pursue, at the exclusions of everything else, for the next year as that is how long it will take to know that I will make it along that path. I have decided that my hobby (collecting college degrees) has been just another form of escapism and I will no longer spend any time on it. And I have also begun slowly fixing and cleaning up where I live. In small chunks of time, here and there, but daily and without days off.

And (this gets its own paragraph because its important) I have begun writing daily in a journal. Just free form musings with no goal other than to work through my feelings and thoughts. This journaling has been a tremendous help, I highly recommend everyone who needs to arrange their thoughts to just sit down and write down what comes to mind. It has grounded me and my thoughts. My mind wanders around a lot less since I started and I can attribute a lot of my emotional recovery (thought I am nowhere near recovered, maybe 5%) to it.

So how am I doing? Thats relative. A year ago I was happy for what felt like the first time in my life. A month ago I was in what I can only refer to as hell. Today I am better than I was yesterday and tomorrow I will be better than I am today.

I will leave off this long...whatever the fuck...with a quote from Nietzsche, a quote that underlies what I have decided I must do with my life if I am to be happy and a quote that lays out what I believe to be important for a good, maybe even happy, life:

"When one has one’s wherefore of life, one gets along with almost every how."

If you made it this far, thanks for reading this long winded, disjointed and woefully incomplete mess.
 

pysek

#Repealthe19th.
<Gold Donor>
12,273
77,266
115d 3h 43m
That's it. How are you doing?

I'll go first: Not good, most of my RL friends are full-on brainwashed communists that are afraid to hang out with each other in person, my family doesn't like me, I've been getting 2-6 hours of sleep on the average night due to my cat's behavior and been extremely unproductive during the day, my old injuries are acting up again and I can't take anything for them, and I've got existential dread about the direction of the country. Haven't had a girlfriend since 2018 which is by a lot the longest I've gone without one since I started having them. Spent 2019 traveling and didn't want a girlfriend, then dating became not a thing, now I don't remember how to get one and I'm not sure if I'm compatible with modern people anymore. Woke up today and actually felt like ending it (not seriously). Just a simple "I wonder if there's a painless way to go to sleep and not wake up" sort of feeling brought on by all the joylessness.

It took a lot to get out of bed, but I made a mental list of things that need to get done today and what order to do them in, now I'm gonna do that. But first I thought, one thing that'd help is if anybody ever asked how I was doing. So, how are you doing?
1635271765939.png


I feel you, chief. Appreciate the sentiment and I'm sending retard thoughts your way. It's gonna get a lot worse, but ironically, once the blister pops, we'll FEEL better, I think. Regardless, you've got fake plastic internet friends and that counts for something. Shit, it better. Chin up.

Also, get your fuckin ass to a good church and the dates will happen. Lots of good girls and ex-bad girls if that's more your thing.
 
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pysek

#Repealthe19th.
<Gold Donor>
12,273
77,266
115d 3h 43m
Two months ago my girlfriend decided to break up with me. This was a woman with whom I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, to have a family with. And from everything that was communicated to me by her, she felt the same way right up to the moment of dumping me. Worst part of it all was that she didnt talk to me leading up to it and that she didnt want to even attempt to fix whatever to her seemed like the correct reason for the break up. She assumed a bunch of shit, she took things out of context and unilaterally decided that things wont work and broke it off. This breakup blew open everything that is wrong with my life and I cant, and wont, sweep it under the rug again.

I dislike my job, its not challenging, its boring, its beneath me, it has no future, its not a career, its just income. Its a dream job for 90% of the people. I work for myself, I make my own hours, I make my own rules. I am solidly into upper middle class in New York City on a single income. I do what I want and I answer to no one. But it is a job that hasnt changed in 15 years. I have made no advances, I have made no changes, its the same thing and it has nowhere to go. I hate it.

I dislike where I live, both my condo and the city. I love the access to culture that living in NYC gives me but the people that I have to deal with do not align with my view of the world. Of course I cant say I looked that hard to find people that do so its just another thing that weighs me down mentally, another thing that is my fault. Also, I have lived in the same apartment for over a decade and its the same as it was when I bought it. I did nothing to it, havent changed anything, havent fixed anything. Its in the same static state that reminds me of the static place all of me has been in. And I hate it.

I had two best friends but now I have none. One I lost to the brain rot of progressivism, he is absolutely unbearable to be around and I feel nothing but contempt towards him. The other friend had a long history of perk abuse and one day, a few years ago, he decided heroine was a good idea. Luckily he made it through that alive (and somehow fatter than before) but now he has his own life, one that is very much removed from me, one where he is someone I do not know anymore.

And now I am alone. The relationship that I used to cover up the holes in my life is gone and all I have is this exposed wound that is constantly perturbed by everything that surrounds me, everything I cant avoid. And all the things that make me miserable today, are things of my own doing. I have lead a comfortable life, everything always came easy so I never tried anything hard. I cant say I challenged myself in any way in 40 years. Everything I hate about my life is a result of my choices and its quiet overwhelming.

Needless to say, I have been thinking a bit about where I am now and how I got here and how to get out. I have come to the conclusion that if I am to fix my life, I must change. I must have a goal and I must be find something that will challenge me.

So I have stopped reading for entertainment and started reading something more intellectually demanded, psychology primarily. I stopped wasting time with porn and twitch. I almost never watched TV before and that hasnt changed and I am certain "almost never" is now "never". I dont drink more than a glass of scotch once or twice a month and dont plan on changing this. I dont smoke. I started taking hour long daily walks and started lifting weights again. I have chosen a path for a career that I will pursue, at the exclusions of everything else, for the next year as that is how long it will take to know that I will make it along that path. I have decided that my hobby (collecting college degrees) has been just another form of escapism and I will no longer spend any time on it. And I have also begun slowly fixing and cleaning up where I live. In small chunks of time, here and there, but daily and without days off.

And (this gets its own paragraph because its important) I have begun writing daily in a journal. Just free form musings with no goal other than to work through my feelings and thoughts. This journaling has been a tremendous help, I highly recommend everyone who needs to arrange their thoughts to just sit down and write down what comes to mind. It has grounded me and my thoughts. My mind wanders around a lot less since I started and I can attribute a lot of my emotional recovery (thought I am nowhere near recovered, maybe 5%) to it.

So how am I doing? Thats relative. A year ago I was happy for what felt like the first time in my life. A month ago I was in what I can only refer to as hell. Today I am better than I was yesterday and tomorrow I will be better than I am today.

I will leave off this long...whatever the fuck...with a quote from Nietzsche, a quote that underlies what I have decided I must do with my life if I am to be happy and a quote that lays out what I believe to be important for a good, maybe even happy, life:

"When one has one’s wherefore of life, one gets along with almost every how."

If you made it this far, thanks for reading this long winded, disjointed and woefully incomplete mess.
You're okay too, retard.
 
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Phazael

Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
<Gold Donor>
11,984
24,675
134d 14h 49m
wormie wormie Three statements/questions not judging:
1) Get out of New York. You said yourself you have no ties there and that whole urban area is a giant black hole of emotional entropy. Most cities are, honestly. If you do not want to leave the state, then move upstate or something. Doing so would put you out of your comfort zone and give you a completely clean slate.

2) Reading is fine, but I think psychology (such as it is) is a bad rabbit hole to go down for you at the moment. History is probably a better subject to tackle when your mind is in a dark place and it has lasting value.

3) Was this girlfriend the one you met when you were doing the college as an adult thing? It sort of sounds like you might be having a slow motion mid life crisis, drawing on other things you have talked about in the Grown Up forum. All I can say to that topic is don't let your self worth be defined by others or by relationships (tough advice for sure, but it is true). If it is the same person, this might be a blessing in disguise but it probably also means you will take a while to mentally recover from it. Thats also why getting the hell out of New York and someplace a little more rural would be good for you, I think.
 

Guurn

<Bronze Donator>
4,150
21,497
131d 18h 42m
Ok, lets cheer you goofs up.

Since about 2007 most people would call what I have bad luck. I've had 2 cancers, a cardiac arrest, my wife has had cancer and a severe back injury at her work due to a 400lb guy grabbing her by the neck and ripping her to the ground. I'm not a fatty, I've been pretty darn athletic most of my life and my wife grew up on a farm, to tell you something about her. Since then...

We got our shit together despite our youngest son being a severe addict (he has lost a bunch of friends to death). He is now straight and has a son with a women whom we like. The grandkid is perfect in every way. Hopefully they get married soon, it depends on him moving his life forward. My wife is stable and I'm doing well. I love my job, it's challenging in the right way and I'm great at it. About the only thing I want for is more money and a better house. We are in a townhouse ATM. I don't like the vicinity to Minneapolis and it's too small for my hobbies. These are 1st world issues. I never go hungry and I stay fit. I also don't have an adequate stash of food yet, that concerns me.

Almost all of the things you guys are complaining about are in your control. That's a blessing, seriously. If a girlfriend breaks up with you there is a reason for it, either you aren't ready or she isn't. Big deal. Meeting them is easy when you are in a position to carry on a relationship. If you aren't, ok, then it's harder. Change the circles you run in if possible or take up a hobby that opens that avenue.

Having friends that are straight brainwashed communists is a common issue. The 3 guys I have been friends with the longest are all brainwashed. If they ask me about politics I just ask them a question in return. That way they are forced to think and I never have to say anything I don't want to. Example- Those neo nazis pushing the Floyd rioting are terrible, how can you support that Guurn? Me- They all got bailed out of jail by a fund created by the hollywood elite and BLM. Do you think they are bailing nazis out of jail? stuttering starts It's even easier now with Biden in office. If you don't believe that you can outthink the communist narrative I'm not sure what to say. Stay reasonably informed and stick to questions. ie- those capital insurrectionists are terrible, they should be tried for treason. Me- I keep wondering how they got past the magnetic locks on the doors, do you know how they did it? Have you watched any tape on it to see how they got past those?
 

Burren

Vyemm Raider
2,631
2,953
48d 6h 18m
wormie wormie Three statements/questions not judging:
1) Get out of New York. You said yourself you have no ties there and that whole urban area is a giant black hole of emotional entropy. Most cities are, honestly. If you do not want to leave the state, then move upstate or something. Doing so would put you out of your comfort zone and give you a completely clean slate.

2) Reading is fine, but I think psychology (such as it is) is a bad rabbit hole to go down for you at the moment. History is probably a better subject to tackle when your mind is in a dark place and it has lasting value.

3) Was this girlfriend the one you met when you were doing the college as an adult thing? It sort of sounds like you might be having a slow motion mid life crisis, drawing on other things you have talked about in the Grown Up forum. All I can say to that topic is don't let your self worth be defined by others or by relationships (tough advice for sure, but it is true). If it is the same person, this might be a blessing in disguise but it probably also means you will take a while to mentally recover from it. Thats also why getting the hell out of New York and someplace a little more rural would be good for you, I think.

NYC is a cesspool, mentally, emotionally, politically, and socially. It didn't used to be, which is why its such a shame. I'll second the "move out and move on" bit along with echoing Phazael's statement about not letting a person or a relationship define you.

I had a 7 year relationship that I thought was "IT". Turns out, I lost her, lost 6 figures in the split and ultimately found myself. I changed jobs, moved out of Southern California (thank fucking god) and found someone who makes my life better. She doesn't define who I am, she enhances it. 5 years into this new relationship and we've both never been happier or more fulfilled. We make our own schedules, have no earning ceiling, travel anywhere and any time, have no kids - nor do we want any - and all our friends are also 38-45 with similar incomes and no kids. And, maybe more importantly, us and our circle ALL have the same political leanings and we get along great, knowing full well we will have to fight for our lives when the liberal commies try to take America away. But that's an unnecessary tangent.

I wasn't always OK. I fought darkness and despair from my mid-teens until early 30's. But, you know what? I wanted a change and I made it happen. Life will NOT happen for you. You have to make the changes, if you truly want them. And, there are people out there more than willing to help, if you ask.
 

Chukzombi

Millie's Staff Member
61,189
176,648
my life is in the same holding pattern its been in for the last 20 years. nothing bad, but nothing great, i just do what i do and keepon keepin on. i dont have a wife and family to worry about, though i get lonely for company too. friends are all involved with their wives and families and are afraid to hang out anymore because of the wuflu. they think i'm the crazy one for not taking it seriously. they also believe all the media about Trump so they think i'm a domestic terrorist or something. on the one hand i dont care if they believe that, because it tells me these people are not my friends and i can write them off for good. on the other i get lonely for company. so its kinda bad news because when i get lonely i start talking to ugly women who are also lonely and i promised myself i would stop hog hunting for good. yet here i am.
 
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Voyce

<Donor>
4,892
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I have a long list of issues with it myself, just never got to the point of considering my job for it.
When will it get to the point?

It's not enough that you have to inject a poison into your body to be able to continue to subsist in society?

Ok, will it be to much when you have to move out of your house and give it to the State?

How about when they take away your ability to have and purchase anything they don't want you to have?

your ability to choose your mate?

Your ability to choose your profession?


I'm fine by the way, there are things within my control, mainly myself, and things outside my control.

During the course of my life events transpire, and that control has and will continue to overlap, I will, as I have in the past act according to what makes the most sense to me when each moment of overlap comes to pass.

For the time being I control my bubble and the small overlaps with the big bubbles as they happen, and make what I think are practical decisions.

I have found as a man, mental health can be very tempered with physical activity, especially the kind that allows for controlled violence, I always encourage Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu or other combat sports.
 
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