How many armed toddlers could you take on?

How many armed toddlers could you take on?

  • Total voters
    35
  • Poll closed .
Dalien

Dalien

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Assuming each one has a gun, and they each get one shot off in a random direction.

You don't necessarily need to attack any of them, you just need to survive and not get hit by any of the gunshots.

You are in an enclosed, wide open room with no obstacles to hide behind. What's your strategy?
 
  • 1Garbage
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Aamry

Aamry

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What ages define a toddler? Is my 7 year old a toddler? He's pretty fucking accurate.
 
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Dalien

Dalien

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I'm not sure, I just learned tonight that toddlers with guns are a menace to society and would like to gauge the extent of the threat.
 
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Zapatta

Zapatta

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Aamry said:
What ages define a toddler? Is my 7 year old a toddler? He's pretty fucking accurate.
Click to expand...

1-3 yrs old according to google. Unless they have knives strapped on them like a fighting rooster the only deciding factor is your cardio. I am guessing you grab one by the feet start spinning and use it to club down the rest. Only real unknown is is how many good shots a toddler can take, those little fuckers are made of rubber and 1 blast may make em cry but not take em out of commission. If someone kisses the boo-boo and gets them back in the game you could be fucked.
 
  • 4Worf
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Gutterflesh

Gutterflesh

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This is a stupid game. I would just drown them all in a steel barrel before they got a hold of a gun.
 
Zapatta

Zapatta

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I am guessing they are only packing .22s, I can't see a 3 yr old handling the recoil of anything bigger, that ups my confidence a lot.. Is this a 50/50 mix boys and girls? The baby girls are really lacking eye hand coordination making half no threat at all.

If I get to 'Batman' and prep before going in, I am wearing steel toes and MLB catcher gear, their chin level is perfect for punting.
 
Dalien

Dalien

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Changing my vote to 21+. I'm thinking I can stealth quietly behind the pack and hit the deck, then do something loud like the car alarm on my keychain to get them to fire all their shots off.
 
Bubbles

Bubbles

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calm them down with food and then fucking use a big ass flamethrower on those evil spawns and fry them all
 
  • 1Nationalist
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radditsu

radditsu

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It's incredibly easy to push my 2.5 year old over.

I would say infinite amount of toddlers.
 
  • 1Solidarity
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Jorren

Jorren

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21+ presumably they would hit each other. Neo dodge until one goes down, then use it as a toddler shield. Then build a toddler barricade and wait for them to finish firing.

That or throw shiny object off to one side and start kicking.
 
  • 1Worf
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Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

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A litter of puppies and a box of Cheerios should be enough distraction to get them to disarm....and if they are 2-3 y.o., just tell them the opposite of whatever it is you really want them to do.
 
Last edited:
  • 2Worf
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Borzak

Borzak

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I own a fully automatic weapon with a 50 round drum mag, is that not playing fair?
 
iannis

iannis

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Jorren said:
21+ presumably they would hit each other. Neo dodge until one goes down, then use it as a toddler shield. Then build a toddler barricade and wait for them to finish firing.

That or throw shiny object off to one side and start kicking.
Click to expand...
I now have an entirely practical plan of action should I ever find myself in this situation.

Ask for as many toddlers as they have.
 
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