IT/Software career thread: Invert binary trees for dollars.

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Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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Ain't that the truth

Lot of smart guys on my teams but definitely a lot of people that I had no idea what they did all day
 

goishen

Macho Ma'am
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Ain't that the truth

Lot of smart guys on my teams but definitely a lot of people that I had no idea what they did all day


That sounds like every company ever, that I've worked at. Do something for two minutes and walk around talking about what they did for those two minutes for the next four hours.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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That sounds like every company ever, that I've worked at. Do something for two minutes and walk around talking about what they did for those two minutes for the next four hours.

If you think of it that way, these guys did something for 30 seconds. In Java.
 

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
14,730
31,802
Well, Office 365/Azure has been having what seems to be a global outage for about an hour so far. So glad I had just finished migrating all our applications from on prem ADFS to Azure SSO just last week.
 
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TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
<Gold Donor>
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I built an auto-scaling application that scales up or down our data warehouse computational engines (just called sizes but if you're unfamiliar I don't think that makes sense). It can, sort of, anticipate needs to end-users don't experience any queue problems and scales down as needed. It does need some better granularity though. All in all, this will cut about $8k a month off of our cloud hosting bill even if I don't try to improve it.

I just thought this was kind of cool but they're happier about this than when I saved them from a contract that would have fucked them over for a few million dollars. Sometimes I don't understand people.
 

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Gold Donor>
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Man I really need a new job. At my current place 50% of my work is help desk. Todays retardation;

email from supervisor; new person who just came off furlough cant get in because username/passwords dont work

me; what exactly isnt working?

random person on email chain; "I would call …theyre is not computer savy"

person who cant log in; I cant log into my personally owned computer because I forgot the username/password and also forgot my account recovery questions

It was very hard not to send a snarky email calling out the stupidity and laziness of this persons supervisor.
 

brekk

Dancing Dino Superstar
<Bronze Donator>
2,191
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person who cant log in; I cant log into my personally owned computer because I forgot the username/password and also forgot my account recovery questions

It was very hard not to send a snarky email calling out the stupidity and laziness of this persons supervisor.

So glad my company has a hard and fast rule, we support personal equipment for business related work for a maximum of 10min without Gate Keeper approval.

Personal equipment is the devil.


TJT:
I built an auto-scaling application that scales up or down our data warehouse computational engines (just called sizes but if you're unfamiliar I don't think that makes sense). It can, sort of, anticipate needs to end-users don't experience any queue problems and scales down as needed. It does need some better granularity though. All in all, this will cut about $8k a month off of our cloud hosting bill even if I don't try to improve it.

I just thought this was kind of cool but they're happier about this than when I saved them from a contract that would have fucked them over for a few million dollars. Sometimes I don't understand people.

Is this for azure?
 

Ao-

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
<WoW Guild Officer>
7,879
507
Snowflake.
We started using them and I'm a fan, though it's more so the direct link to PowerBI and now being able to do analytics against our data. Getting everything from our custom IPAM, from ServiceNow, from a custom Application Registry, from various security tools... it was daunting but now it's great.
 

TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
<Gold Donor>
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We started using them and I'm a fan, though it's more so the direct link to PowerBI and now being able to do analytics against our data. Getting everything from our custom IPAM, from ServiceNow, from a custom Application Registry, from various security tools... it was daunting but now it's great.

Yeah we use it for all business/development data aggregation. We don't use PowerBI though and have been using Looker for some time now.

Looker is by far my favorite BI tool out there. It has features and flexibility that none of the other big names do. Tableau is the market king right now but it requires a lot of backend developers to make it work. Looker allows you to force use a Data Lake environment even if you're architecture was not designed with that in mind. It does this by having its own code language that is easy to use (think like, highly modified SQL) and you can use it to construct derived tables out of whatever the fuck you want in your database. Looker then creates this table persistently and recalcs it as often as you need. Then you can use the derived table just like it was any other table in your database.

It might seem like not a big deal but it completely changes the possibilities you have with your data. As you can just build these on the fly and use Looker's coding language to do data manipulations that are much more annoying to do if all you have is SQL or PowerBI's features to deal with them. Essentially it removes the need for complex ETL solutions unless you're a truly massive organization where you must do your transformations in bulk at every stage before it reaches your primary data store.
 

The_Black_Log Foler

Stock Pals Senior Vice President
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Well. Back on the job hunt. Just had a call with a recruiter for a pretty decent size company. Just general questions like "what have you been up to, what languages have you used, etc etc"

Then this motherfucker drops the "We're doing a big diversity and inclusion push here, what does diversity and inclusion mean to you?"

Almost hung up the phone. Just told him " That everyone is treated fairly in the workplace regardless of cultural background or beliefs".

Probably not a liberal enough answer for him but fuck off with you compelled diversity and inclusion agenda.
 

Kuro

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
8,264
20,917
"graduation" for the coding boot camp is Friday. Ended up making a pretty niche boardgame combat simulator app for my final project. It was fun to make, but feels kind of dumb that the functions that run the combat math/ai took half as many lines of code as "making the apps buttons look pretty"
 

TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
<Gold Donor>
40,701
102,081
Well. Back on the job hunt. Just had a call with a recruiter for a pretty decent size company. Just general questions like "what have you been up to, what languages have you used, etc etc"

Then this motherfucker drops the "We're doing a big diversity and inclusion push here, what does diversity and inclusion mean to you?"

Almost hung up the phone. Just told him " That everyone is treated fairly in the workplace regardless of cultural background or beliefs".

Probably not a liberal enough answer for him but fuck off with you compelled diversity and inclusion agenda.
They asked you that directly? What the fuck?
 

TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
<Gold Donor>
40,701
102,081
"graduation" for the coding boot camp is Friday. Ended up making a pretty niche boardgame combat simulator app for my final project. It was fun to make, but feels kind of dumb that the functions that run the combat math/ai took half as many lines of code as "making the apps buttons look pretty"
You've discovered one of the many reasons why front end web development is for fags.

Welcome, brother.
 
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Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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So my company has fired everyone except me and two others in our Phoenix office since its decided to close the office. That means I get to help close the office and deal with all the gear in it. What exactly do you do with 115 or so shitty all in one computers? Ill be pulling the drives out and destroying them so they wont have any of those. Also a medium sized office worth of cat5 cable.
 

The_Black_Log Foler

Stock Pals Senior Vice President
<Gold Donor>
42,773
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They asked you that directly? What the fuck?
Yeah.. fuck off with your diversity snd inclusion bullshit. You have your own policy or whatever but don't fish for the answer you want to hear for that. Next time I'm asked that gonna go into how I'm a pre-transitioned transexual and ask what % of their work force is lgbtqabcd and drop a hint that they aren't diverse enough.

Edit - it was a gaming graphics engine company so maybe that explains something 🤷‍♂️