Jupiter Ascending (2015)
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Nester
Vyemm Raider
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Jesus, jerk each other off about aliens in the two alien threads on the front page..
Did anyone actually not hate the magic mike space elf trying bang janitor Meg?
This review from Kotaku is pretty lol
How Jupiter Ascending Is Basically BioWare: The Movie | Kotaku Australia
Did anyone actually not hate the magic mike space elf trying bang janitor Meg?
This review from Kotaku is pretty lol
How Jupiter Ascending Is Basically BioWare: The Movie | Kotaku Australia
Furry
WoW Office
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Even I'm not so blatant about my neg farming. Whedon has some shitter movies, but he also has some brilliant shit too. Nobody's perfect.
And he only wrote that movie, which was butchered by the suits before it got to the screen.
He also wrote the screenplay for Toy Story
As for movies he directed, and wrote there only two. The number 3 grossing movie of all time, and Serenity.
My parents, who like every god damn movie they've ever seen, even said this was terrible.
Jait
Molten Core Raider
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Yeah, but go read it. It's not Toy Story. It's about a really fucked up Cowboy doll who hates his life. It's like a G-Rated Chucky.
Qhue
Tranny Chaser
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I saw it this weekend and I was entertained. The movie had some big pacing issues, notably among the repeating theme of Jupiter getting kidnapped by one of her space relatives but I did like the style elements and the root story concept of immortality resulting from using humans as a cash crop. (I would, however, have thought that getting a good breeding stock and then culling would be a more sensible way to harvest... but whatever)
I got distracted whenever Jupiter's family was being featured, but that was more because I kept waiting for her uncle to go serve the dowager countess some tea. Eddie Redmayne was chewing through the scenery and hamming it up nicely with his simpering whisper-voiced mama's boy but the other two siblings were kinda meh... especially the chick whose aging makeup was so terrible you took one look at her in the first scene she appeared and go "she's gonna get a youth treatment".
I think the same basic material with the same basic design work and cinematography could have been an excellent film with better writing.
I got distracted whenever Jupiter's family was being featured, but that was more because I kept waiting for her uncle to go serve the dowager countess some tea. Eddie Redmayne was chewing through the scenery and hamming it up nicely with his simpering whisper-voiced mama's boy but the other two siblings were kinda meh... especially the chick whose aging makeup was so terrible you took one look at her in the first scene she appeared and go "she's gonna get a youth treatment".
I think the same basic material with the same basic design work and cinematography could have been an excellent film with better writing.
The Edge
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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There were times where I thought I wasn't following what was going on. But afterwards, I thought back and realized I was following it all. They were just using the dumbest plot devices imaginable.
I still say it's a 5 star movie if she makes a peanut butter joke at the end.
I still say it's a 5 star movie if she makes a peanut butter joke at the end.
Homsar
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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So many stupid plots in the movie, give up planet Earth so I can kill everyone or ill kill a couple of your family members if you dont. Ugh I dont want to try and think about all the issues, The first main fight in the city up in the sky had so much FX and stuff flying around you couldnt even enjoy the action/
Also why did he need wings? his hover boots were 10x better
Also why did he need wings? his hover boots were 10x better
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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That's easy. Because he looked gay as hell ice skating through the air. My main question was why did they need to reap a planet after millions of years of waiting? Wouldn't they have done better just collecting people as they died of other causes? 56 million people a day die on earth, the population is 7.2 billion. In a years time of just collecting people who died, you'll get a lot more youth juice than just one reaping. Imagine if they'd just done that from the beginning so no one would be freaking out about the aliens collecting the dead bodies.
I know, I'm giving the show more thought that the writers did. I'll try to stop now.
I know, I'm giving the show more thought that the writers did. I'll try to stop now.
Lanx
<Prior Amod>
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For this stupid movie, you have to think in terms of this is just a "just right" harvest time, like when a wine farmer gets the perfect grape and wants mass yield for the year, earth is just a "yearly" harvest for people that live millennia with thousands of other "earth like" places.
tron boots were pretty awesome, (compared to) fake wings. I mean when he fought fucking sauron from xmen, he could barely lift his ass up. But with tron boots he could skate all over the place w/ a 90lb mila kunis backpack.
What a laughably shit film. Bad actors, bad plot, bad over-wrought cgi, bad writing, dime store music, and Kunis is a mannequin.
