Awanka, it seems there is nothing more to say. Every weakness in my life: the nerves to be hit, the mistakes to be confessed, the matters to be challenged and overcome have been laid bare and then some. So thoroughly have I laid myself bare before this forum that even falsehoods have been embraced.
For this, my shame and self-criticism have been magnified. While some would hope for this public flagellation to have destroyed my self image, it has only served to strengthen my resolve in overcoming the challenges laid before me. In addition, as of Shelly"s post stating the matters of anger and the possibility of future friendship for the child"s sake at least, we have reached a vertex of these events at which I have suddenly seen more maturity and resolve to do the right thing that could likely have been achieved without this fool-hearty course of action.
In such, I came to FoH seeking a balance of support, resolution, and direction. The Fires of Heaven guild has delivered as much as hoped for and more with as much brutal honesty and intent to achieve as I would expect from this group. Direction has been found, resolution for the short term is achieved, and initially even the support hoped for and not expected was found. Despite my previous flare of defensiveness to add onto this record a statement of the only moral exceptions I must take to the words provided herein, I am grateful.
In return, FoH has been given what I wish could be played off as a trolling of legendary proportions. Unfortunately, some times reality delivers a train wreck of such proportion that at least most of it must stand to be true, such as in this case.
What more could be said? In fact, I am both a fool and an idiot for wasting these words and filling so much space with my incessant babbling when there is such work to be done. But, I thank you for your invitation to continue in my acts of public self-humiliation and respectfully decline. This is where this chapter of my story comes to a close, and should the lessons learned throughout the clusterfuck that was the last three to five years of my life take root, the next chapter will see me become a different person.
Now, as much fun as this has been for everyone, it is time for it to come to a close. I would doubt that anything has ever been more Hall of Shame worthy, so I surrender the course and flow of this thread for that purpose: a much more honest and necessary act than the tempting course of using this thread further to honestly troll. After all, there is so much potential to build on this with such but it is not worth the effort this time.
So, yes, I am abandoning this thread, but I will state one last time that never did I abandon my children. Also, unlike my children, I will not pay child support to this thread. Fare well, and let"s hope that the next time FoH learns anything of my life that it and I are unrecognizable.
/nod