Losing Interest

moonarchia · Jun 6, 2022

Cukernaut said:
I am 33 and am pretty successful professionally and have 2 kids.

i mostly work and hang out with the family, and very little else other than shit around in here occasionally.

my health is decent not great, but not bad either. I’m trying to lose some weight by dieting and working out and it’s going just okay.

i don’t feel like I have time to play mmos anymore, it feels like I am taking too much away from my family, and I have become fully bored of old console games or simple games like Diablo.

Im just getting out of a heavy 2 year reading kick.

I enjoy work well enough, im pretty much just bored at home. Sex with wife is great, love my wife and kids, but coming home from work on weekdays and weekends gets boring and repetitive.

i have a great long term outlook actually and an engaged In pretty interesting stuff, but the short term day to day and minutia is getting me

Any thoughts / suggestions?

Lack of drive at home. Big life changes in progress. That's pretty much textbook depression or mid life crisis. Pick up an old hobby or find a new one. Not sure what your workout routine looks like, but it sounds like you could fit another 30-60 minutes in on some stretching/cardio and meditation. Reconnect with old friends or find some new ones. If you are caught up on reading then get cracking on tv shows or movies. Start some new family traditions. Before the plandemic I used to take my family out every weekend to a new type of restaurant that they had never been to before. Board game nights.

Anyhow, lots of stuff to do if you want. Self improvement. Family improvement. Just pick a few things and dig in for a while. If any last more than a few weeks then you might have a keeper to expand upon.

Breakdown · Jun 6, 2022

Im 38 and been in a rut for 3 years almost now. Drinking every night, sleeping all day. Nothing is fun. Dont watch shows or movies cause its boring, so I toss on reruns of shows ive seen 1000 times and then just fuck around on my phone. Reading is a chore. Just lack the drive to care enough to even try to get into a book. Gaming is meh, modern shit is lame so I play EQ till I realize im too casual then rinse repeat.

Been exercising more lately, and trying to put more time into cooking dinners for the fam to get me moving and productive again. Still a work in progress. Its helping, im a bit more engaged with the family, can actually sit down and watch shows with the wife for a short time a few times a week. Just hit that wall where I needed to kickstart my life and its hard but getting better. Im working on joining a golf league as well.

Springbok · Jun 6, 2022

Have you ever done martial arts cuk? Never too late to start and something about the instant and repeated gratification from learning and getting better (even marginally in some cases) is a great confidence booster and cause to keep "leveling up". There are BJJ gyms in every town in America it seems like so shouldn't be hard to find and they're usually full of some really nice, welcoming people (funnily enough).

Burren · Jun 6, 2022

Cukernaut said:
we are riding the salary line with her spending habits and paying for kids school - she makes 0 money and spends a lot.

Fix that shit, now. Get a fucking job or stop over spending. I guarantee there's no reason for her to be blowing money, other than social pressures and lack of control.

Ossoi · Jun 6, 2022

Breakdown said:
Im 38 and been in a rut for 3 years almost now. Drinking every night, sleeping all day. Nothing is fun. Dont watch shows or movies cause its boring, so I toss on reruns of shows ive seen 1000 times and then just fuck around on my phone. Reading is a chore. Just lack the drive to care enough to even try to get into a book. Gaming is meh, modern shit is lame so I play EQ till I realize im too casual then rinse repeat.

This is accurate. I struggle to watch most TV series because I can't resist checking my phone. Stranger Things s4 just played in background whilst I hopped around social apps and websites

Cukernaut · Jun 6, 2022

moonarchia said:
Lack of drive at home. Big life changes in progress. That's pretty much textbook depression or mid life crisis. Pick up an old hobby or find a new one. Not sure what your workout routine looks like, but it sounds like you could fit another 30-60 minutes in on some stretching/cardio and meditation. Reconnect with old friends or find some new ones. If you are caught up on reading then get cracking on tv shows or movies. Start some new family traditions. Before the plandemic I used to take my family out every weekend to a new type of restaurant that they had never been to before. Board game nights.

Anyhow, lots of stuff to do if you want. Self improvement. Family improvement. Just pick a few things and dig in for a while. If any last more than a few weeks then you might have a keeper to expand upon.

I think I’m going to try to do some writing.

Springbok said:
Have you ever done martial arts cuk? Never too late to start and something about the instant and repeated gratification from learning and getting better (even marginally in some cases) is a great confidence booster and cause to keep "leveling up". There are BJJ gyms in every town in America it seems like so shouldn't be hard to find and they're usually full of some really nice, welcoming people (funnily enough).

I did karate when I was a little kid. Not the same thing I know. I’m not ready for this big of a commitment just right now, but am trying to get back more in working out at least.

Burren said:
Fix that shit, now. Get a fucking job or stop over spending. I guarantee there's no reason for her to be blowing money, other than social pressures and lack of control.

Working on it. Canceling credit card. She doesn’t get shit anymore.

Ossoi said:
This is accurate. I struggle to watch most TV series because I can't resist checking my phone. Stranger Things s4 just played in background whilst I hopped around social apps and websites

I blocked web browsers and social media on my phone and it helps. Already been there Done that. Had to have my wife password my App Store and lock me out basically and do screen time locks etc - super worth looking into if you are interested

Cukernaut · Jun 6, 2022

Breakdown said:
Im 38 and been in a rut for 3 years almost now. Drinking every night, sleeping all day. Nothing is fun. Dont watch shows or movies cause its boring, so I toss on reruns of shows ive seen 1000 times and then just fuck around on my phone. Reading is a chore. Just lack the drive to care enough to even try to get into a book. Gaming is meh, modern shit is lame so I play EQ till I realize im too casual then rinse repeat.

Been exercising more lately, and trying to put more time into cooking dinners for the fam to get me moving and productive again. Still a work in progress. Its helping, im a bit more engaged with the family, can actually sit down and watch shows with the wife for a short time a few times a week. Just hit that wall where I needed to kickstart my life and its hard but getting better. Im working on joining a golf league as well.

i appreciate you sharing this. Im not this bad quite yet - I don’t really drink regularly or anything - it kind of shows how bad it can get sneaky way though so this is good perspective for me

Cukernaut · Jun 6, 2022

Some updates

1. bought a laptop for the house so i can do emails at night (im a sick fuck)
2. asking relative to take the kids for a 4 day weekend -- might actually be successful
3. went to gym today
4. bought a journal going to see if i can force myself to write

Captain Suave · Jun 6, 2022

Springbok said:
Have you ever done martial arts?

Cannot recommend martial arts enough. I was borderline depressive for my entire life up until I graduated from college and started training. The physical awareness, control, and confidence is utterly transformative in every other aspect of your life. Plus you'll meet a cross section of people from every walk of life with whom you already share a serious interest. (And the girls are all in amazing shape.)

Mist · Jun 6, 2022

Ossoi said:
This is accurate. I struggle to watch most TV series because I can't resist checking my phone. Stranger Things s4 just played in background whilst I hopped around social apps and websites

For years I struggled to watch TV series because I couldn't resist checking the ticket queue at work even when I wasn't working (which was almost never.)

Also, I keep clicking on this thread thinking it says "Losing Internet" and that there's some fun troubleshooting puzzle to solve...

I have a fucking problem.

Furry · Jun 6, 2022

Ossoi said:
This is accurate. I struggle to watch most TV series because I can't resist checking my phone. Stranger Things s4 just played in background whilst I hopped around social apps and websites

Phone is a cancer. I have a hard rule. Absolutely no phone use when I'm off the clock other than to check it once in the morning, and I let myself use it when waiting for things like in a doctor's office. Annoys the shit out of family, as I basically don't respond to any call or message until the next morning.

Technology in general encourages bad habits.

Mist · Jun 6, 2022

My rule is absolutely no social media apps on my phone. It works fucking great.

Email accounts, work shit like Teams, and utility apps (podcast player, maps, etc) only.

If I wanna go on social media I'll do it on a real computer, because if I'm in front of a real computer I'm probably already pissed off anyway.

Cukernaut · Jun 6, 2022

Mist said:
For years I struggled to watch TV series because I couldn't resist checking the ticket queue at work even when I wasn't working (which was almost never.)

Also, I keep clicking on this thread thinking it says "Losing Internet" and that there's some fun troubleshooting puzzle to solve...

I have a fucking problem.

i have this issue with email. which is why i bought a laptop to do my emails at night at home before i go to sleep. i just got done.

Furry said:
rule. Absolutely no phone use when I'm off the clock other than to check it once in the morning, and I let myself use it when waiting for things like in a doctor's office. Annoys the shit out of family, as I basically don't respond to any call or message until the next morning.

i try my best to get here. i am on call 24/7 so it makes it hard

Mist said:
My rule is absolutely no social media apps on my phone. It works fucking great.

Email accounts, work shit like Teams, and utility apps (podcast player, maps, etc) only.

If I wanna go on social media I'll do it on a real computer, because if I'm in front of a real computer I'm probably already pissed off anyway.

i dont have work email, browser, any social media, etc. its like im living in the 90s+pandora

i agree with the computer

Lambourne · Jun 7, 2022

There's real scientific research going into how this constant bombardment of electronic entertainment is affecting our brains, and a lack of motivation to do anything is a major symptom of low dopamine. Dopamine isn't actually a pleasure chemical like is often said, it's a motivator. Basically the dopamine circuits get so overused that they no longer drive you to do anything that isn't instantly rewarding like scrolling social media.

Good 11 minutes overview video. I highly, highly recommend watching this if you're dealing with motivation problems. I made a bunch of changes in my life because of this emerging research and it helped a ton.

Ossoi · Jun 7, 2022

The little finger on my left hand has an indentation from resting my phone on it. It's also starting to develop a callous, just like the inside of my hands from barbells lol. I can definitely ditch Facebook because Facebook in general is worthless now. Nobody uses it for its original purpose, the feed is just a few groups I'm in and random videos served up by their algorithm.

Twitter is obviously cancer anyway but that takes up a lot of time from refreshing the scroll. Instagram - I only follow 150 accounts and some friends message me through there for some reason

Rod-138 · Jun 7, 2022

Making friends in a hood is work, but totally worth it. Even if it’s something cheesy like going over to play ping pong or watching a game, the time to socialize and have a few drinks really helps because it’s unpredictable.

you may be thinking…how the fuck is watching a game unpredictable? Well ! It’s the conversation and tone of the night that makes it fun. I don’t recommend turning into a party animal, but you should average 1 night a week where you cut loose and act up with pals.

we moved last year and made most of our new friends at the community pool, but also made a few from our kids sports.

Humans love habits, but spice things up with a little bit of chaos my boy.

BrutulTM · Jun 7, 2022

What kind of business do you run that leaves you with all this free time and you're apparently not passionate about it at all? Most business owners I know are passionate about what they do and have to fight for time to do anything else.

Nirgon · Jun 7, 2022

Cukernaut said:
i don’t know if depression would accurately describe me though. I have a great life outlook and enjoy my trajectory and path.

i also feel that what I am going through is temporary in the sense that as the kids get a little older (2&4) they will get more fun

I’m notoriously difficult person to keep entertained because I constantly push myself - perhaps the monotony of family life is the issue.

And I can’t really complain because individually it’s all good - so good that I don’t want to disconnect or neglect the kids, but not good enough where I am sustaining enjoying it. It’s a weird Goldilocks zone I am in - saying fuck it and playing eq 5 days a week would almost be too easy but also moderately destructive and not great towards my kids

Ya it's called burn out. Everyone is gonna get it real bad in this society.

Izo · Jun 7, 2022

Post corona syndrome. Get in the gym.

Nirgon · Jun 7, 2022

Izo said:
Post corona syndrome. Get in the gym.

I tried to look up post corona syndrome and got flooded with COVID 19 Google results.

Tiresome.

Losing Interest

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