Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Kill All the White People
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I get it but you're lying to yourself if you think the kids would have suffered equally either way. 50/50 custody means 50% of the time you are not around to counter your wife's toxic influence on your children. 50/50 custody means your daughter gets to now witness her mom being a leeching slut, and your son the sadness/conflict that comes from the desire to love his mom, but the anger/confusion of seeing her with other men. Ultimately, your happiness is also important, and the question arises whether you need to martyr yourself for the sake of your children's future mental health.

I mean really it comes down to the gamble of whether your nasty divorce will turn your kids into fucked up adults rather than semi well-adjusted ones, the consequences of which you'll feel well into your golden years if true.

I know a dude whose wife is a crazy alcoholic and he's miserable, but he refuses to divorce her because he's too afraid of how she'll be with the kids if he isn't around to intervene.

So what do you do when she's garbage with you too?

Let's go over the last month before my separation.

She says she's going to her mother's for the weekend, leaves me home with the kids. Then spends the weekend in a hotel room with her new human garbage boyfriend. Insists that she didn't lie to me because she *intended* on going to her mother's. Then, refuses to move out because "it's her house too."

Then, her grandmother who raised her is given a couple weeks tops to live. She gets critical care leave from work to spend it with her. Tells me she's going over there, I ask how her grandmother is when she returns and she replies that she never made it there, she fell asleep at her human garbage boyfriend's house instead. Insurance fraud on top of being a compassionless piece of shit? Nice. I don't know whether this reflects worse on the whore, or the guy who knows how much the whore claims to love her grandmother and still can't help but get his dick wet anyway.

I take her down to the Mayo to help treat what eventually would be diagnosed as bladder cancer. I am repaid by her spending the night with her human garbage boyfriend and her essentially doing the walk of shame in front of her kids, and telling me that she doesn't have to do what I ask.

So, I guess you can be a cuck and sit around and take that shit, sure. I guess your kids can see their mom whoring it up at home, or somewhere else. But the reality is I gave enough. I tried hard enough. I walk out of this with a clear conscience that I did everything I fucking could to save this and save the household for my kids. Maybe I let I go on to long, but at least no one can say I didn't give it my all.

So now, yeah, I may not be in the same place to counter that, but I do counterbalance it by providing a stable household that the kids feel safe in, and are treated well. The youngest doesn't know what's going on yet, but the oldest knows her mom is paying for a roof over her head with sex, and her mom chose a dickless loser who will do anything she asks over me, who only ever asked to be respected in my own house. She also told me "I'm not sure what bothers me more - the fact that mom changed so much, or the possibility that she hasn't."

I don't know how shit will fall for the 7 year old. But my 17 year old learned a fuckload of life lessons this last year, shit she will remember for a very long time.
 
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Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
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Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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It'll be fine. You only need one good parent, and I do everything that's necessary to be that one.

Like I said...I never would have left her. Health is one thing, but if you're just gonna be a useless drain on my resources with no appreciation for 18+ years together, then GTFO. It absolutely would have turned into that too. It was me paying the mortgage. All the debt is in my name because she tanked her credit being a retard. My union health fund paid for all of her shit last year (not insurance...fund.) It absolutely would have ended up with me doing everything and paying everything while she fucks off and contributes nothing. I ain't staying in that situation and I ain't being guilted into it because of my kids either.

I can take care of the kids myself. The oldest is with me 75/25, the youngest is half. She gave me back the dog and the cat because her horseshit plan for living without me failed. I kept the house and kept my pension. I've got everything but the problem, and a little bit of debt to clean up now is absolutely nothing compared to all of the above.

Fuck women and their entitled shit. They don't get a free pass because of a vagina. Contribute, or at the very fucking least respect the guy who's back you built your life upon, or get the fuck out.
 
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Aldarion

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Yeah I dont get how that goes on past 2-3 dates. I wouldnt be able to keep track of those pointless personal details a woman is gonna judge you on remembering or not.
LOL very well put. >10 years into marriage and I still cant keep track of all these meaningless details and am still getting in trouble for it. Dating two women? Fuck that.

My wife likes to open damn near every statement with "remember X that I told you about?" Now really, her goal is to get on to the next point. "Remember X that I told you about? Well, look at what she just posted on Facebook". But she pauses, first, and waits for an answer about whether I remember it. If I say no, hellfire and brimstone ensue.

I tried treating this as a rhetorical question but nope, she genuinely wants an answer. Sometimes i just say "nope, no idea".
 
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Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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LOL very well put. >10 years into marriage and I still cant keep track of all these meaningless details and am still getting in trouble for it. Dating two women? Fuck that.

My wife likes to open damn near every statement with "remember X that I told you about?" Now really, her goal is to get on to the next point. "Remember X that I told you about? Well, look at what she just posted on Facebook". But she pauses, first, and waits for an answer about whether I remember it. If I say no, hellfire and brimstone ensue.

I tried treating this as a rhetorical question but nope, she genuinely wants an answer. Sometimes i just say "nope, no idea".
Best answer is "Yeah, vaguely".
 
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Noodleface

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I like to call my wife on her bullshit because most of the time she told someone else but thought it was me
 
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Frenzied Wombat

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So what do you do when she's garbage with you too?

Let's go over the last month before my separation.

She says she's going to her mother's for the weekend, leaves me home with the kids. Then spends the weekend in a hotel room with her new human garbage boyfriend. Insists that she didn't lie to me because she *intended* on going to her mother's. Then, refuses to move out because "it's her house too."

Then, her grandmother who raised her is given a couple weeks tops to live. She gets critical care leave from work to spend it with her. Tells me she's going over there, I ask how her grandmother is when she returns and she replies that she never made it there, she fell asleep at her human garbage boyfriend's house instead. Insurance fraud on top of being a compassionless piece of shit? Nice. I don't know whether this reflects worse on the whore, or the guy who knows how much the whore claims to love her grandmother and still can't help but get his dick wet anyway.

I take her down to the Mayo to help treat what eventually would be diagnosed as bladder cancer. I am repaid by her spending the night with her human garbage boyfriend and her essentially doing the walk of shame in front of her kids, and telling me that she doesn't have to do what I ask.

So, I guess you can be a cuck and sit around and take that shit, sure. I guess your kids can see their mom whoring it up at home, or somewhere else. But the reality is I gave enough. I tried hard enough. I walk out of this with a clear conscience that I did everything I fucking could to save this and save the household for my kids. Maybe I let I go on to long, but at least no one can say I didn't give it my all.

So now, yeah, I may not be in the same place to counter that, but I do counterbalance it by providing a stable household that the kids feel safe in, and are treated well. The youngest doesn't know what's going on yet, but the oldest knows her mom is paying for a roof over her head with sex, and her mom chose a dickless loser who will do anything she asks over me, who only ever asked to be respected in my own house. She also told me "I'm not sure what bothers me more - the fact that mom changed so much, or the possibility that she hasn't."

I don't know how shit will fall for the 7 year old. But my 17 year old learned a fuckload of life lessons this last year, shit she will remember for a very long time.

Textbook narcissist it sounds like.. The open marriage works if you can both decide to be civil and keep your respective side pieces private, but your wife just sounds toxic. One of your kids is old enough to understand and deal with it, thankfully.

I'm so happy I'm not married, and it's for reasons like this which are legion. I only wish American men would go on a marriage strike so we could get some traction against this insanity. I've asked countless men what the practical reason for getting married today is, since you can bang all you want and American women are next to fucking useless and mostly emotional children. No guy can give me any good, practical reason. Not one.
 
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Jackie Treehorn

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Textbook narcissist it sounds like.. The open marriage works if you can both decide to be civil and keep your respective side pieces private, but your wife just sounds toxic. One of your kids is old enough to understand and deal with it, thankfully.

I'm so happy I'm not married, and it's for reasons like this which are legion. I only wish American men would go on a marriage strike so we could get some traction against this insanity. I've asked countless men what the practical reason for getting married today is, since you can bang all you want and American women are next to fucking useless and mostly emotional children. No guy can give me any good, practical reason. Not one.

It’s true, you can fuck all you want.

I moved from small town Florida to the Bay Area in 2015. I went from having had sex with <15 women in my life to 40-45 now. That’s because of how easy it is to get laid in a metropolitan area if you look decent and make good money.

For me it’s not at all fulfilling. Casual sex is fun in the moment and that’s it. Some were moderately more fulfilling than others if there was at least some deeper connection. Even the ones that felt more connected it was just illusory and it just briefly felt like you had a girlfriend, but it wasn’t built on anything and meant nothing.

Practical reason for getting married? I dunno, but I personally want to be committed to someone and they to me. No poly shit, no casual sex forever.

Saying things like “American women are useless” is silly.
 
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Noodleface

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I don't recommend marriage to anyone

Right now I'm making all the money and doing most of the stuff around the house. Sometimes I put my dick in a pussy
 
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Jackie Treehorn

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I don't recommend marriage to anyone

Right now I'm making all the money and doing most of the stuff around the house. Sometimes I put my dick in a pussy

That’s one thing I won’t do at least. I’m not looking to marry a woman who is uneducated or broke. I seek out women with at least pretty solid careers of their own. One because it’s the Bay Area and it’s a necessity, and two because I’m not interested in wholly supporting anyone anywhere really.
 
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lurkingdirk

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I don't recommend marriage to anyone

Right now I'm making all the money and doing most of the stuff around the house. Sometimes I put my dick in a pussy

I'm sorry, man. This makes me sad. Not all marriages are equal, and I would recommend marriage to everyone. I'm not trying to be a dick, nor say my life is better than yours, I merely see such a huge advantage to having a life partner that I can't set that aside to see the negatives. I know I'm lucky and all that. But there are really good things about being married, too.
 
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Big Phoenix

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I've asked countless men what the practical reason for getting married today is, since you can bang all you want and American women are next to fucking useless and mostly emotional
Marriage like most legal things needs reform. Pretty backwards you can enter into a contract where the penalties/ramifications of breaking it are completely ambiguous/unknown and up to how a judge is feeling that day.

Best you can do is find a woman who earns as much as you do but good luck with how many basket weaving social workers there are today.
 
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