Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Wake Up Man
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TrollfaceDeux said:
i know this is kind of derail off topic but I am seeking some help here since this is the closest thing to a dating thread with a shred of maturity...

It is upsetting me slightly...or depressing me on occasions that I cannot find in the heart of me to ask girls out or hit on them even though clearly they show constant interest in me..
Even if I do, its some mindgame and it is just waste of time.. If there were no interest, it is one thing...but it is just fucking crazy that I keep missing the boat because I just don't want to do anything and at the same time I feel sad about my decision to not do anything...Once they see that I refuse to carry on, it sort of just fizzles off...or some drama happens...

it sucks because there are clear compatibility between several of them and I just..refuse to do anything further because I don't think it is worth it...

I still got 30 more pounds to lose before peak shape so maybe I will get more opportunity....but so far my experience hasn't been good..but I am relieved nothing came out of it...weird.
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Weight doesn’t matter for someone who is worth your time. Figure out how to love yourself first and that you don’t need anyone to be happy. After that, be yourself, always. If you’re not a flirter, that can be learned if you feel the need to learn it.
 
Khane

Khane

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mcdj22 said:
Weight doesn’t matter for someone who is worth your time.
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Wrong, and I don't know why people pretend this is some grand gesture of love. It's the same as pretending money doesn't matter, or ambition. Nonsense. That's not reality, you need money to live and you need to try to stay fit to extend your own mortality so you can actually be around to enjoy your family. How could there be any passion in a relationship where one person doesn't even find the other that attractive?

That's not to say there aren't people who don't mind the chub, or even kink about it. But never, ever get apathetic about your own appearance just because you *think* it's not supposed to matter.
 
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TrollfaceDeux

TrollfaceDeux

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mcdj22 said:
Weight doesn’t matter for someone who is worth your time. Figure out how to love yourself first and that you don’t need anyone to be happy. After that, be yourself, always. If you’re not a flirter, that can be learned if you feel the need to learn it.
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I love myself too much to love a woman...
 
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Khane said:
Wrong, and I don't know why people pretend this is some grand gesture of love. It's the same as pretending money doesn't matter, or ambition. Nonsense. That's not reality, you need money to live and you need to try to stay fit to extend your own mortality so you can actually be around to enjoy your family. How could there be any passion in a relationship where one person doesn't even find the other that attractive?

That's not to say there aren't people who don't mind the chub, or even kink about it. But never, ever get apathetic about your own appearance just because you *think* it's not supposed to matter.
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There is a lot of uncomfortable truth in this. We have a couple that are pretty close friends. They have kids, they're nearly fifty, and he's very obese. He gets sweaty going up a flight of stairs. He's just plain out of shape, and he's doing nothing about it. His father died at 55, his mother at 57. Both were fatties who didn't do anything about it.

It's great that you're in love and don't care, but how about not wanting to be a widow? or not wanting to raise your kids without you?

Sure. You can be attracted to anyone. If they're just right for you, fantastic. But for the love of all that is holy, take care of yourself at least enough to ensure you don't die young and leave your wife/kids/friends/whatever without you.
 
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3301

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Khane said:
Wrong, and I don't know why people pretend this is some grand gesture of love. It's the same as pretending money doesn't matter, or ambition. Nonsense. That's not reality, you need money to live and you need to try to stay fit to extend your own mortality so you can actually be around to enjoy your family. How could there be any passion in a relationship where one person doesn't even find the other that attractive?

That's not to say there aren't people who don't mind the chub, or even kink about it. But never, ever get apathetic about your own appearance just because you *think* it's not supposed to matter.
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I’d say most women don’t put looks first. Yes, there needs to be attraction and health. But women don’t sit around with each other and talk about their guys’ fat belly. They either bitch or gloat about what kind of person you are.
 
Khane

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Yea women don't care about it at all. That's why "sexiest man alive" and their fantasies often involve out of shape dad bods who are just really good with kids. Like Harrison Ford, or Leonardo Di'Caprio.

Who are you kidding?
 
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Alex

Alex

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I think women can be more forgiving in general in the looks department. But you also see decent looking dudes with hambeasts somewhat often. No explaining these things.
 
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Khane

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I'll tell you what... if you can cook you will very easily impress almost any woman.
 
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TrollfaceDeux

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mcdj22 said:
I’d say most women don’t put looks first. Yes, there needs to be attraction and health. But women don’t sit around with each other and talk about their guys’ fat belly. They either bitch or gloat about what kind of person you are.
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Have you tried tinder...bro?
 
Tarrant

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physical attraction has to exist, its just that simple. For me, there's more in attraction that physical appearance but it is one of the more important ones. I can love someones personality and traits all I want but if there's no physical spark there, it's going to come into play at some point.
 
Khane

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Well the point is to eventually meet them IRL. But yes, the way you interact at the start is decidedly different. It's far less personal until you actually get on the physical date.

but... didn't you just blow up your marriage like 3 days ago? And weren't you married before Tinder was a thing?
 
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3301

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Khane said:
Well the point is to eventually meet them IRL. But yes, the way you interact at the start is decidedly different. It's far less personal until you actually get on the physical date.

but... didn't you just blow up your marriage like 3 days ago? And weren't you married before Tinder was a thing?
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Marriage blowup happened over a month ago. Yes, married well before Tinder existed. We started open marriage thing a couple years back. Disaster at every step. Our one year old girl...wasn’t sure she was mine at first.
 
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