Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Ossoi

I'm With HER ♀
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, and refuse to accept that she is likely abusive beyond her 'domme' nature/lifestyle.

Did you not read

Did you not read this line " But yeah, there's a mutual attraction/chemistry - we enjoy each others company and we enjoy partying together. But a) we live in diff Countries and b) she's a fucking psycho"

She's a self described "party girl" who does cocaine every week. She also told me she is bipolar and a narcissist (although I think she just meant vain)

If anything, I felt kind of sorry for her BF because she's a highly volatile pro Dominatrix and has told me on several occasions how much she enjoys hurting men.

I've seen tinder on her phone, and she said she uses it to scare her boyfriend when they have a fight.

She told me she was on holiday with an ex-BF, they had a fight so she went and found a random guy to fuck.

You keep pointing out her behaviour to me, the same behaviour I've also told you about. Her behaviour is then used as justification for his violence.

I'm saying, the BF knew what she was like, probably knows more stories than me, yet pursued her anyway because his dick overruled his head.

Now he's besotted with her, can't stand the thought of losing her, and can't deal with the emotional stress that comes with dating a 1. Sex worker 2. fetish porn producer 3. bipolar volcano/black widow and is lashing out.

Yes, they're both fucked. No, that doesn't excuse his violence


Apparently what sparked the argument last week was, she was in taxi with me and her friend to restaurant, she asked BF to go to her BDSM dungeon to pick up a bag, he refused, she then said "but Matthew would do it for me" - Matthew being one of her regular clients/slaves who worked on a renovation project every day for six weeks with her. This was enough to spark an argument that went into the night, resumed again in the morning
 

TJT

Adrenaline Junkie
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Bro. You're like 35 or something? I have no idea how you can tolerate this level of nonsense.

At 23 I would have been all over that psycho bitch. But I don't need that drama anymore.

But if you do carry on and report back.
 

Ridas

Pay to play forum
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They are both broken people. I would stay away as far as possible. All you can do is tell her to gtfo out of the relationship and hope she survives it. But as far as I can tell she is way to psycho to heed any rational advice.

Also grow the fuck up and stop thinking with your penis only.
 
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Fucker

Potato del Grande
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Technically it's not an open relationship. It's one where the BF is dating a sex worker, so has to accept her clients. She also told him at the start that if he couldn't fulfill any of her fetishes, she would find someone who would (whatever that means)

The issue is that some of her clients are very close to her. I know she has one regular client who's been seeing her for two years, this guy recently helped out a lot renovating her BDSM studio and they were growing closer. She also uses him for Onlyfans filming. There's also at least one other regular client that she counts as being very close to. And both these guys are effectively her "slaves"

So yeah, it's like dating a sex worker/porn star. Except she's not having sex on camera, just doing fetish stuff eg whipping, strapon etc

WTH did I just read.
 
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TJT

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I don't know, what exactly was difficult to understand/comprehend?

I get that they're in the sex worker and her slave relationship. That he has to be cool with her sex worker shit. Whatever.

Trouble is. Unless you're paying her for her services you're not part of that dynamic. You're just edging in on his fucked up relationship and that would logically make him understand that you intend to replace him.
 
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Ossoi

I'm With HER ♀
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I get that they're in the sex worker and her slave relationship. That he has to be cool with her sex worker shit. Whatever.

He's not her "slave" anymore, apparently they just do kinky shit in the bedroom now.

You're just edging in on his fucked up relationship and that would logically make him understand that you intend to replace him.

Well we live in different Countries and neither one of us is relocating any time soon. Even if she were single and interested it would be fucking dumb of me to sell my property here to move in with a ticking time bomb.

But yes, the issue is the lines of our friendship are blurred. We occasionally do stuff for Onlyfans and go to fetish parties together. It was her idea to go on holiday for a few days - I suggested Ibiza at first and she said "my BF will be too jealous", so we went to Spain. Whilst there she said she told me she was going away with me "either as a joke or during a fight" - neither suggests he was cool with it.

Her friends assured me he is jealous of everyone close to her - friends, clients and regular clients that have become "personal slaves" to her. But the friends don't know what happened on holiday together, only that we had a crazy after party with 3 random Spanish girls.

But yeah, if I was him, I'd feel threatened by me also.
 
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Zzen

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But yeah, if I was him, I'd feel threatened by me also.

1599311696416.gif
 
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Ossoi

I'm With HER ♀
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21d 4h 53m

I'm 38 and regularly have to pull out my ID to prove my age - at the party her friends thought I was 25. Go check the weight loss thread, I have the physique of a 21 year old.

I don't know the guy but he seems "stiff", there's a reason she likes to party with me and why she said she always feels like she's in a movie when she's with me.

Oh, and there's the fact she invited me for weekend in January purely to make him jealous. That doesn't work if there is nothing between us.

She said a few weeks later "he's very jealous of you because he knows I like you"
 
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lurkingdirk

A Dirk who Lurks
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I'm 38 and regularly have to pull out my ID to prove my age - at the party her friends thought I was 25. Go check the weight loss thread, I have the physique of a 21 year old.

I don't know the guy but he seems "stiff", there's a reason she likes to party with me and why she said she always feels like she's in a movie when she's with me.

You're creating your own problem here. Continue hanging with this woman and you're going to get burned.

Also, "I have the physique of a 21 year old" is likely the douchiest thing I've read on this forum in many a year.
 

Ossoi

I'm With HER ♀
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21d 4h 53m
Also, "I have the physique of a 21 year old" is likely the douchiest thing I've read on this forum in many a year.

it's true. Check the weight loss thread if you don't believe me

You're creating your own problem here. Continue hanging with this woman and you're going to get burned.

Well we're getting further away from the reason I posted, which is how to help someone in an abusive relationship.

We see eachother about once every six weeks, usually for 1-2 days and we have fun. At her party last week I met her closest friends and her two closest "slaves", one of whom bought me lunch because his kink is buying stuff for her which apparently extended to buying me lunch also because he knows I'm her friend lol.
 

TJT

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I'm 38 and regularly have to pull out my ID to prove my age - at the party her friends thought I was 25. Go check the weight loss thread, I have the physique of a 21 year old.

I don't know the guy but he seems "stiff", there's a reason she likes to party with me and why she said she always feels like she's in a movie when she's with me.

Oh, and there's the fact she invited me for weekend in January purely to make him jealous. That doesn't work if there is nothing between us.

She said a few weeks later "he's very jealous of you because he knows I like you"

Humble much? Yes flex about this psycho actual whore you're kind of messing around with but don't want a relationship with... Or something.

 

Ossoi

I'm With HER ♀
5,772
2,165
21d 4h 53m
Humble much? Yes flex about this psycho actual whore you're kind of messing around with but don't want a relationship with... Or something.

What do you want me to say? That he shouldn't feel threatened? That I wasn't working out twice a day during lockdown? That she hasn't said she's attracted to me or stuff like "we had instant chemistry"

She can just dump slave boy if she wanted.

As I said, he's not her "slave" any more. And my understanding is that an actual, definitive dumping is the most dangerous moment for victims of domestic violence.
 

Falstaff

Vyemm Raider
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37d 21h 38m
I'm 38 and regularly have to pull out my ID to prove my age - at the party her friends thought I was 25. Go check the weight loss thread, I have the physique of a 21 year old.

I don't know the guy but he seems "stiff", there's a reason she likes to party with me and why she said she always feels like she's in a movie when she's with me.

Oh, and there's the fact she invited me for weekend in January purely to make him jealous. That doesn't work if there is nothing between us.

She said a few weeks later "he's very jealous of you because he knows I like you"

when michael jordan says stop it, get some help - Imgur.gif
 

TJT

Adrenaline Junkie
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What do you want me to say? That he shouldn't feel threatened? That I wasn't working out twice a day during lockdown? That she hasn't said she's attracted to me or stuff like "we had instant chemistry"



As I said, he's not her "slave" any more. And my understanding is that an actual, definitive dumping is the most dangerous moment for victims of domestic violence.

I just don't see how you can effect the outcome of this situation. Let her live at your place in the UK for awhile? Text her support for leaving? Fly to east europe and beat up some dude?

I wouldn't do any of these things. But if she's a dear friend or fuck buddy or something you'll need to do one.