Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Just from my own experience, almost all of my anger issues come from feeling inferior, incompetent, stupid, etc. and the embarrassment that comes from knowing other people are thinking that about me, so without knowing more, Cad sounds about right. I hope everything is okay, though.
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Maybe she had a major surgery earlier this year that she still isn't fully recovered from physically or psychologically.
Hopefully it just turns out to have been stress-related or something similarly benign and Dirk buys her flowers and apologizes for being an asshole.
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Just imagine some idiots do it more than once!
Congrats though, you sound happy and that's what matters.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Whats funny is that personality trait doesn't appear to be limited to people who are good or bad at things either. I know plenty of people who are actually pretty competent who flip out if they are shown to have made an error and always blame/deflect etc; same for people who always fuck stuff up. The lack of ego of some people to shamelessly mess up and ask for help is one of the best personality traits, or someone who can laugh and lake light of their own errors. It makes it SO much easier to get along with them because you aren't going to be attacked for pointing out how things are (genuinely) wrong.
Thats why trust in a relationship is so important, I know for a fact even if my wife is mad at me she doesn't think I'm stupid or incompetent, even if I sure did fuck that one thing up, whatever it is. Same if she does something stupid; everyone does stupid things, and saying "hey that was stupid" isn't saying "you are stupid."
Mutually putting down the ego results in so much peace in the house, it's insane.
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Seananigans
Honorary Shit-PhD
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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My first wedding was with a judge. That was easy. Half an hour and done.
This was an ordeal! Prep/wedding/pictures/dinner/reception/people - fucking exhausting. I felt like I hadn't slept in 2 days by the end of it.
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Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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Because of women's innate solipsistic psyche, this is almost impossible for them in general.
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She's menopause age, but it's tricky because of the surgeries she's had. See below.
I only put lsd in the lasagna. Not the pizza.
Cad, you're a remarkably thoughtful guy. 10 out of 10, would be friends with you.
My wife, who has never been allergic to anything in her life broke into similar hives when stung by a yellow jacket (the assholes of the bee species). At the ER last night it was discovered that she had a spider bite. That is 100% the cause of the hives and rash she had. I EpiPenned her immediately, she was totally shaking and feeling manic, but as always, she had her shit together. The docs (I guess nurse, actually) found the spider bite on her calf. Happened earlier in the day, she was in the hay barn in shorts. Nothing life threatening, but a serious pain in the ass. The hives and rash have mostly disappeared, but she still feels somewhat manic. Like itchy on your whole body at once, and you can't actually scratch it. But she's improving as time goes on. And I'm very grateful for that. I kept apologizing for overreacting, and she eventually told me to STFU. She actually told me I was right and she needs to stop doing that. She told me that going forward she's going to make a plan, pass it by me, then we decide together who does it. This is regarding house/property improvements. She's a very capable person (A hell of a good drywall mudder for example), but she starts projects counting on my ability to help her finish that project. Words from her mouth.
And you know why we could have that conversation? Because TRUST. Cad is right. I trust my wife in every. single. thing. She does the same with me. We had an honest conversation where we both acknowledged the shit we've done, and after the conversation we both felt so much better about everything. The ER docs gave her something to sleep, so she slept like a log for a long time. Cold bath today, twice.
What we learned today: wear pants when moving hay bales. Not shorts.
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Fucker
Log Wizard
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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It actually is supposed to be a good omen. Your union will bring prosperity to the crops, etc etc. Or maybe that's what they tell brides who have rainy wedding days to keep them from freaking out.
When I got married it rained and broke a drought that had been causing forest fires. We took a road trip to honeymoon and the rain followed us around bringing rain to other areas that had been in a drought. I was just happy we could move that shit inside. Who the fuck wants to get married outside this time of year? I barely want to be outside in normal circumstances, much less dressed up in a fucking 3 piece tux with a noose around my neck.
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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It was cloudy-ish, low 70s, low humidity, no rain.
Actually worked out about as perfectly as it could have. By the time the clouds cleared and it was getting too warm for the suits, pictures were done and it was time to head to the reception where you lose the jackets almost immediately
Furry
Email Loading Please Wait
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Hoss is just low key advertising his shaman rain dancing services.
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Well, all done. Officially divorced once the order shows up in the mail. Took maybe 15min. I'm keeping all my shit and the house, we just have to get it appraised and I'll buy him out his half of the value. He's got 30 days to get his name off the deed and we're all set. Feels a bit anti-climactic, but I'm just relieved it's done and over. It still really hurts losing Bruce, but I'm not sure this could have gone any more smoothly than it did and I'm satisfied with the outcome. I guess now I just have to figure out what all to do next.
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Go out tonight and fucking celebrate. Not even kidding. Go get dinner and a big margarita or something.
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Steak is the worst kind of "go pay someone else to cook the easiest meal on earth" kind of celebration. Don't celebrate with steak.
Celebrate with shit thats time consuming and annoying to do yourself, like a braised lamb shank with gnocchi served over a creamy polenta.
Don't get a fucking steak.
Celebrate with shit thats time consuming and annoying to do yourself, like a braised lamb shank with gnocchi served over a creamy polenta.
Don't get a fucking steak.
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Rain fucking. This was our honeymoon, after all.
It's true we didn't fuck the day of the wedding before it started raining, but she did blow me in the bridal room right after the vows before the reception.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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