Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Tarrant
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First, it doesn't matter what sort or agreement you had, she takes you to court and your support will be decided by their own set of guidelines and in most cases, she can tag you for back child support. All that money you paid her that wasn't through the system? Doesn't matter and it's not counted. I told you this month's ago and was told "No bro, we're cool" and like I said then, you're never cool.
Payments don't change depending on the child's age however they can go up due to cost of living, which happens almost every year.
You guys can get an agreement where she will only demand 50% of the max and at anytime she can go back and go for max. The difference here is though she can't soak you for back child support because it was agreed upon in family Court.
FYI, whoever has the kids 51% of the time is who receives the support money.
You're screwed bro, much like I said you would be months ago. This headache and worry could have been solved months ago.
Payments don't change depending on the child's age however they can go up due to cost of living, which happens almost every year.
You guys can get an agreement where she will only demand 50% of the max and at anytime she can go back and go for max. The difference here is though she can't soak you for back child support because it was agreed upon in family Court.
FYI, whoever has the kids 51% of the time is who receives the support money.
You're screwed bro, much like I said you would be months ago. This headache and worry could have been solved months ago.
Haast
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Post 998, 999 and 1081, from Onoes:
(spoilered for length)
It looks to me like he went through the court process. There is hope after all, unless I'm misreading.
(spoilered for length)
It looks to me like he went through the court process. There is hope after all, unless I'm misreading.
Frenzied Wombat
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Pay to get in, and pray/pay to get out. Why do dudes get married again? Color me cynical-- tainted by three childhood divorces and this heartwarming cautionary-tale of a thread, but I just don't see the ROI when there's a 50% chance your wife will take your kids and fuck your life. The poor slob a few offices down from me just got divorced-- pays $2500/month in child support for his two kids, has to live in butt-fuck super suburbia because that's where his ex lives and he needs to be able to see his kids, and is now going back to court because his kids are being dressed in WalMart clothes while his wife blows the support cash on Prada purses. Supposedly there is no legal requirement whatsoever that the ex-wife account for how the child support is spent.
Haast
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Vandyn
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Age has zero to do with it, it all has to do with income of both parents as well if there are any other kids.
Famm
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Did you read your third quote? They went to Court and got a divorce, but they did some sort of handshake under the table deal on the support payments. Doesn't sound to me like any child support agreement was officially entered into in the eyes of the law.
Uh, right, that bolded part? He thought that no support claim in the initial settlement meant there was nothing forcing him to pay. But there's also nothing specifiying that's he's paying what he should or that he's even paying anything at all on the record. And she can probably go back and request it now.
Nester
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He could proactivly apply for full custody and child support from her. THat would of course mean he has some evidence of her being an inadequate parent. Sure its a little heavy but so is the world we live in.
Either that or start hiding money bro!
Soygen
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Ignatius
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Anecdotal here, but going back to court is pretty risky for both parties honestly.
My folks split because my mom found out dad was cheating (he later married this woman)...it nearly killed her. My dad's a pretty damn good lawyer and actually came out ahead.
When things started going south at my dads (drama with the new wife, and how she was treating us), my mom took him back to court and ended up losing, bad. He ended up getting more time, and paying a lot less.
Basically, if she isnt careful, she could get fucked here, but still probably a good idea to talk to a lawyer and have a "what if" session with him. Or maybe my dad is just that good at what he does. Best of luck to you dude
My folks split because my mom found out dad was cheating (he later married this woman)...it nearly killed her. My dad's a pretty damn good lawyer and actually came out ahead.
When things started going south at my dads (drama with the new wife, and how she was treating us), my mom took him back to court and ended up losing, bad. He ended up getting more time, and paying a lot less.
Basically, if she isnt careful, she could get fucked here, but still probably a good idea to talk to a lawyer and have a "what if" session with him. Or maybe my dad is just that good at what he does. Best of luck to you dude
Onoes
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sorry I'm out of town right now, and I've been drinking most of the night, wine with friends, and I'm typing this on my cell phone. So cut me some slack for the probably shitty text response here.
okay so yeah, the agreement that we had, what's on the books with the court and everything, is that we both split the children's school expenses, and that I cover all other expenses. She waved her right to any child support, and she's responsible for providing health insurance to the kids. So that was our agreement on the books. in actuality, the kids have no health insurance, I've just paid for any and all trips to doctors. I have been splitting school cost, actually I've been paying slightly more than her. In addition, I have been depositing money into her account every month for child support, 250dollars, when we filled out the child support payment spreadsheet it said I should pay 247, so even though I'm not mandated to pay anything, I've been paying slightly more than what I technically should be. We both have the kids exactly 50% of the time, and in all actuality, I probably have them slightly more.the reason I'm paying her off the books, it's because if I pay her child support, she have to claim it on her taxes. This way, she doesn't have to do that. Now I'm not completely dumb, I haven't been giving her cash or anything, I've been transferring the money into her account with a note saying something like, child support September 2014. so if she does try to take me back to court for child support, I can prove that I've been paying her all along. I can also prove that she hasn't paid for any of the Children's Medical expenses. So I'm pretty sure I have a leg up in that aspect. The whole reason for this setup, was because she was saying she was going to try to go to school, as well as trying to find housing based on her lower income.
so yeah, I really think that if she tried to take me back to court, she would be royally fucked for trying to get around all these governmental restrictions. I mean I could be wrong, but the whole reason I did it this way was to help her potentially get into some government programs. I can always deny that I had any knowledgethat that's what she was doing, and say that I thought we just had an agreement that seems fair.
again, I'm currently drunk off of a couple of bottle of wine, and I'm dictating all of this to my phone, so I'm pretty sure it's fucking terrible, grammar wise Exedra.
but hopefully I answer whatever questions people had?
all in all, I'm not too concerned, she doesn't have money to hire a lawyer or anything, she still working her full time job at 13.00 hour or whatever, and when I have the kids she's doing a couple of other jobs on the side at night. She functioning ok, she just doesn't have a lot of excess cash. I'm pretty sure its driving her crazy seeing me going on trips every couple months, always going out of town and stuff. I don't know. anyway, like I said, I don't think she's going to be taking me back to court or anything. I think her thought line was but maybe if she told me, but I would just offer to give her more money or something. That's not going to happen, in fact she owes me like 500$ for paying off your credit card a couple months ago. So yeah, I'm probably rambling at this point I don't even know. Having a great time in Prescott Arizona with super awesome friends, who went to bed, leaving me to talk to you guys!
okay so yeah, the agreement that we had, what's on the books with the court and everything, is that we both split the children's school expenses, and that I cover all other expenses. She waved her right to any child support, and she's responsible for providing health insurance to the kids. So that was our agreement on the books. in actuality, the kids have no health insurance, I've just paid for any and all trips to doctors. I have been splitting school cost, actually I've been paying slightly more than her. In addition, I have been depositing money into her account every month for child support, 250dollars, when we filled out the child support payment spreadsheet it said I should pay 247, so even though I'm not mandated to pay anything, I've been paying slightly more than what I technically should be. We both have the kids exactly 50% of the time, and in all actuality, I probably have them slightly more.the reason I'm paying her off the books, it's because if I pay her child support, she have to claim it on her taxes. This way, she doesn't have to do that. Now I'm not completely dumb, I haven't been giving her cash or anything, I've been transferring the money into her account with a note saying something like, child support September 2014. so if she does try to take me back to court for child support, I can prove that I've been paying her all along. I can also prove that she hasn't paid for any of the Children's Medical expenses. So I'm pretty sure I have a leg up in that aspect. The whole reason for this setup, was because she was saying she was going to try to go to school, as well as trying to find housing based on her lower income.
so yeah, I really think that if she tried to take me back to court, she would be royally fucked for trying to get around all these governmental restrictions. I mean I could be wrong, but the whole reason I did it this way was to help her potentially get into some government programs. I can always deny that I had any knowledgethat that's what she was doing, and say that I thought we just had an agreement that seems fair.
again, I'm currently drunk off of a couple of bottle of wine, and I'm dictating all of this to my phone, so I'm pretty sure it's fucking terrible, grammar wise Exedra.
but hopefully I answer whatever questions people had?
all in all, I'm not too concerned, she doesn't have money to hire a lawyer or anything, she still working her full time job at 13.00 hour or whatever, and when I have the kids she's doing a couple of other jobs on the side at night. She functioning ok, she just doesn't have a lot of excess cash. I'm pretty sure its driving her crazy seeing me going on trips every couple months, always going out of town and stuff. I don't know. anyway, like I said, I don't think she's going to be taking me back to court or anything. I think her thought line was but maybe if she told me, but I would just offer to give her more money or something. That's not going to happen, in fact she owes me like 500$ for paying off your credit card a couple months ago. So yeah, I'm probably rambling at this point I don't even know. Having a great time in Prescott Arizona with super awesome friends, who went to bed, leaving me to talk to you guys!
Big Phoenix
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Haast
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There IS something specifying he's paying what he should (which is nothing, officially): the LEGAL AGREEMENT that says no support is needed due to equal custody and their current income situation. Which the court approved.
She could say there's been a change to the situation and now she needs support going forward. But unless she is going to argue coercion or some other mitigating condition, then she's SOL to this point. The previous agreement can't be invalidated because feels. There would have to be a legal reason it is invalid and request back support.
EDIT: whoops, I see Onoes already covered this.
Haast
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Assuming they calculated support properly, she goes back, demands support and.... officially gets the ~$250/month that he's already paying her? OH THE HUMANITY!