Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
42,496
50,685
I once fucked a chick and the best way I could describe the feeling was that it was like sticking my dick into a jar of fruit preserves. I've never felt like wasting a jar to confirm whether I was 100% accurate but I'm sure I was.
 

Izo

Tranny Chaser
18,586
21,491
rrr_img_106969.jpg

Never change, people
smile.png
 

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,656
I once fucked a chick and the best way I could describe the feeling was that it was like sticking my dick into a jar of fruit preserves. I've never felt like wasting a jar to confirm whether I was 100% accurate but I'm sure I was.
oh god. Now I have the Sweet Dee dry heaves.

I know that feel.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
37,961
14,508
I once fucked a chick and the best way I could describe the feeling was that it was like sticking my dick into a jar of fruit preserves. I've never felt like wasting a jar to confirm whether I was 100% accurate but I'm sure I was.
The real question is did it come out looking like you stuck it in a jar of fruit preserves? I'd like to change your user title to Fruit Preserve Dick if so.
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,684
12,168
I'm so fucking hungry right now. Or horny?
Horngry?

I once fucked a chick and the best way I could describe the feeling was that it was like sticking my dick into a jar of fruit preserves. I've never felt like wasting a jar to confirm whether I was 100% accurate but I'm sure I was.
Reminds me of a joke

A young bride is sitting on her bed, worried to death. "What's the matter?", asks her mother.

"It's the Honeymoon, mom. Tom thinks I'm a virgin. You and I both know I've been with so many men."

"Yes dear." replys her mom, "To tell the truth, I had the same problem when I married your father."

"What ever did you do?"

"Well, before I joined you father in bed, I asked for some private time in the bathroom."

"The bathroom? Why the bathroom?"

"I took the raw piece of liver, that your Grandmother gave me and put it in my vagina. It made me as tight as a virgin for my wedding night and afterwards it didn't matter."

The young woman took her Mother's advice and there followed a glorious wedding night. The next morning the Bride found herself alone in bed and a note was pinned to her Groom's pillow. It read:

My Darling,

Last night was the best sex I have ever had. You are everything a man could wan't in a wife. I Love you with all my heart and always will. But darling I can't live with the thought that I have disfigured you for life. Forgive me darling, but Good-Bye Forever.

All My Love,

Tom

P.S.: I left your pussy in the sink.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,566
9,019
Wife and I had a huge blow out last night. Gonna wait for it to blow over...should take a few weeks and then begin project GTFO....which should put it around our 5 year anniversary. :/
 

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
21,731
39,582
Wife and I had a huge blow out last night. Gonna wait for it to blow over...should take a few weeks and then begin project GTFO....which should put it around our 5 year anniversary. :/
Because waiting is going to make it hurt less? Just start the project now and get it over with instead of making excuses to put it off.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,656
I think the plan is a fait accompli. I reckon there's something that if he lets her see him doing it she can fuck him up somehow. Only way it would make sense to wait a few weeks.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
41,483
177,792
Also, she can't say "he's just pissed right now and trying to hurt me because we had a big fight" if he allows things to calm down. Makes sense to me.

Sorry, man. The fifth anniversary part got me right in the feels. That's rough.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,566
9,019
Because waiting is going to make it hurt less? Just start the project now and get it over with instead of making excuses to put it off.
Both Iannis and Lurking have hit the nail on the head for both reasons. Plus again, have to make sure my son is shielded as much as possible. This escalated my timetable a bit and I need to take care of some things before I can pull the trigger.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
41,483
177,792
Respect for considering your son so much in this process. Good on you; hope your wife does the same, and makes the process as painless for him as possible.
 

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
42,496
50,685
Both Iannis and Lurking have hit the nail on the head for both reasons. Plus again, have to make sure my son is shielded as much as possible. This escalated my timetable a bit and I need to take care of some things before I can pull the trigger.
Man, as much as I love to jokingly suggest homicide as a way to solve marital problems, you should probably refrain from using the phrase 'pull the trigger' when discussing your plans to deal with your estranged wife.