Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Tarrant

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Unless you have kids, expecting wife #2 to be okay with you talking and hanging out with wife #1 seems expecting a lot out of wife #2.
 

Nester

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My wife went ape shit when my ex gf from over a decade ago wished me a happy bday on Facebook. I was with that ex for five years so a happy b day did not seam unreasonable (to me.) I was wrong.
 

dolaan_sl

shitlord
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The Adam and Dr. Drew Show

They have a guy on Joesph Sorge who made a doc called Divorce Corp which essentially tells how the lawyers are the only one who wins in a divorce. There were things he said that blew me away. You know a woman can use Child support to pay the lawyer? I am about half way through it but it was interesting and related to the thread so thought I would share.
 

iannis

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Whenever lawyers get involved you can be sure of 2 things: Someone is going to get fucked, it won't be the lawyer.
 

Cad

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Whenever lawyers get involved you can be sure of 2 things: Someone is going to get fucked, it won't be the lawyer.
Your wife's lawyer might be fucking her, though. You would not believe me if I told you how common it is.
 

Frenzied Wombat

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My wife went ape shit when my ex gf from over a decade ago wished me a happy bday on Facebook. I was with that ex for five years so a happy b day did not seam unreasonable (to me.) I was wrong.
In my experience once you are "the boyfriend", sooner rather than later you will be forced to expel from your life a) any female your penis has ever touched and/or b) any hot chick that knows you by name. Oh yeah sure, when you are "dating" she'll tell you she's A-OK with you having female friends, and that she's not "one of those girls", but as soon as she's emotionally invested in you and The Crazy starts to take hold her story will quickly change. I've had countless arguments with girlfriends about this, and have lost more female friends than I care to count I'm afraid. It doesn't even matter whether you can conclusively prove you have no interest, if your GF thinks this other chick wants you it will drive her nuts.

I've probably had the below argument at least five times in my life:

Her: I don't want you seeing that bitch anymore
Me: She's put on like 50 pounds in the last year, she's freaking orca sized, what are you worried about?
Her: Because you don't understand what's going on inside her head.. She wants you!
Me: Even if that's true, who gives a fuck what goes on inside her head. I don't want her, and no matter what "goes on inside her head" it won't result with my penis ending up inside her. She's a good friend..
Her: Just admit if she wasn't fat you'd want her!
Me: No I wouldn't, but in any case, why does it matter?! She's always been fat, and now she's even fatter!
her: Rage..

It's sad, but I've learnt to cut all ties with ex's and female friends once I seriously start seeing someone. It just isn't worth the rage and pain. Once it ends with the GF, most will be a-ok with re-establishing friendship because they understand The Crazy.
 

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
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In my experience once you are "the boyfriend", sooner rather than later you will be forced to expel from your life a) any female your penis has ever touched and/or b) any hot chick that knows you by name. Oh yeah sure, when you are "dating" she'll tell you she's A-OK with you having female friends, and that she's not "one of those girls", but as soon as she's emotionally invested in you and The Crazy starts to take hold her story will quickly change. I've had countless arguments with girlfriends about this, and have lost more female friends than I care to count I'm afraid. It doesn't even matter whether you can conclusively prove you have no interest, if your GF thinks this other chick wants you it will drive her nuts.

I've probably had the below argument at least five times in my life:

Her: I don't want you seeing that bitch anymore
Me: She's put on like 50 pounds in the last year, she's freaking orca sized, what are you worried about?
Her: Because you don't understand what's going on inside her head.. She wants you!
Me: Even if that's true, who gives a fuck what goes on inside her head. I don't want her, and no matter what "goes on inside her head" it won't result with my penis ending up inside her. She's a good friend..
Her: Just admit if she wasn't fat you'd want her!
Me: No I wouldn't, but in any case, why does it matter?! She's always been fat, and now she's even fatter!
her: Rage..

It's sad, but I've learnt to cut all ties with ex's and female friends once I seriously start seeing someone. It just isn't worth the rage and pain. Once it ends with the GF, most will be a-ok with re-establishing friendship because they understand The Crazy.
What is the point of female "friends" that you don't want to bang? That's what dudes are for.
 

Chesire_sl

shitlord
331
1
Graven in every female paw in secret code . Men will fuck anyone just add alcohol.

They are simply exercising control , if they stop sucking dick for whatever reason , they know you can not just run down to female friend 001 to get a hummer.
 

Frenzied Wombat

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What is the point of female "friends" that you don't want to bang? That's what dudes are for.
To be specific one was an ex that helped my mom out when she was terminally ill, so even though things didn't work out I wanted to maintain contact. The other (the fat one) happened to grow up in the same neighborhood I did in Canada and emigrated to Texas just like me, so we had a lot in common. The 3rd was a chick I went on a few dates with but didn't click, but she's the only person I had met that liked going to the symphony, so I'd call her up every three months when something good was playing. Certainly "hanging out" isn't anywhere near on the level as the bros, but occasionally meeting for a dinner or drinks was common.

EDIT for Trollface: Though I would certainly ask, it would be more for academic reasons. Female advice about other females is almost always downright wrong and is usually the opposite of what will actually attract a girl's attention lol..
 

Hoss

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Yeah, I'm not sure what alternative you suggest?
You know what the alternative is. The final solution. Don't make him spell it out for you.

I mean, who do you want to live with as a male? The girl, or the dude who has this baby parked outside!
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Not to beat a dead horse, but possibly the one with the balls to get a vehicle title from a hooker and her pimp
 

iannis

Musty Nester
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Men give fair to bad advice about other men (unless it involves sex and the advice is don't ask to suck his dick, just tear his pants off), but women give straight up sabotage you advice about other women even when they don't have an interest to protect. It's like instinctive for them.

Whatever she says, don't do that. Don't do the opposite either. They're smart enough to know that trick.
 
73
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Whenever lawyers get involved you can be sure of 2 things: Someone is going to get fucked, it won't be the lawyer.
I guess you'd better prepare to be fucked.
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There's a ton of misconceptions in this thread.

You edited: naive laymen need to understand that marriage is a private law instrument that governs what happens to your propertywhenthe marriage terminates (by divorce or death) and who is the man liable for supporting the children the woman produces during the marriage. Details vary per jurisdiction.

Christian fuckers sabotage history teaching in schools. The religious aspect of marriage in The West is recent propaganda. In the 14th century Nordic states it was death for a priest who dared intrude on a wedding party. The Romans understood marriage in essentially the same way, so the religious trappings are mostly a passing fad.

As a lawyer: get a lawyer.She probably will.
 
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Ok, more on-topic reply now.

Grumps and noodlz, hope you won't regret it, probably will.

American family law really sucks. For those who can do it, look into emigrating to Europe. EU hasn't harmonized family law (though the idgits around the Mediterranean try to lobby for it) so there's a wide variety to choose from. Sadly, if you want nice climate, you're pretty much fucked for reasonable legal system, but then, it would probably still be an improvement. Of course, this has the disadvantage of moving to another continent as a contingency for your possible divorce. Doesn't sound like very sound advice, does it?

'She wants the D' was much more fun when we weren't married, wasn't it?
 
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Well, I definitely preferred giving the dick.

So that I'm not just taking but giving a little:

We met at a friend's party and I chatted her up, after the first date she told me she wasn't interest, I kept my cool, we were 'just friends' for two weeks before she gave in and we got married a year later in 2007. I now echo the old adage 'marry in haste, repent at leisure.'

Over the last two years we've had some pretty tough spots. The hardest for her was, I think, when I rented a small apartment for a few weeks. That pretty much drove it home for her how serious I was. But I'm a firm believer in 'winners never quit' so here I am, holding on for the sake of holding on. I hatehatehatequitting.

As for why I'm considering the D: when you meet people at conferences / at your faculty / in your profession who can actually discuss the stuff you work with (or philosophy, or politics, or literature, or the merits of Rush contra Mahavishnu Orchestra or whatever) and/or are hot to boot, and/or enjoy the same outdoors activities you do... Yeah. Coming home to not being able to discuss any of it because of wildly different disciplines and not really having anything you'd like to spend time together doing does make me dread the idea of staying together for decades.

But a man has to have his pride, eh? Better to miss out on (a satisfactory) family life than to admit having been wrong, right guys?
 

Jx3

Riddle me this...
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I feel like you're trying to sell me something . I'm not sure.

Whatever it is though, does it come in green?
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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Well, I definitely preferred giving the dick.

So that I'm not just taking but giving a little:

We met at a friend's party and I chatted her up, after the first date she told me she wasn't interest, I kept my cool, we were 'just friends' for two weeks before she gave in and we got married a year later in 2007. I now echo the old adage 'marry in haste, repent at leisure.'

Over the last two years we've had some pretty tough spots. The hardest for her was, I think, when I rented a small apartment for a few weeks. That pretty much drove it home for her how serious I was. But I'm a firm believer in 'winners never quit' so here I am, holding on for the sake of holding on. I hatehatehatequitting.

As for why I'm considering the D: when you meet people at conferences / at your faculty / in your profession who can actually discuss the stuff you work with (or philosophy, or politics, or literature, or the merits of Rush contra Mahavishnu Orchestra or whatever) and/or are hot to boot, and/or enjoy the same outdoors activities you do... Yeah. Coming home to not being able to discuss any of it because of wildly different disciplines and not really having anything you'd like to spend time together doing does make me dread the idea of staying together for decades.

But a man has to have his pride, eh? Better to miss out on (a satisfactory) family life than to admit having been wrong, right guys?
You're pretty dumb for a lawyer.