Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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chthonic-anemos
bitchute.com/video/EvyOjOORbg5l/
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Dude, I'm really sorry. That is some difficult crap to deal with. Keep working to be with your kids as much as possible. They'll notice the effort, believe me.
I bet your wife is telling them all kinds of terrible shit about you is the reason your kid told you that
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Sure you realize this, but it bears repeating. This is part of the whole "appear sane" routine, as well. Actually wanting to be happy and in a healthy relationship was not enough for her to conquer her crazy. But you can bet your ass that fucking you over as hard as possible for a bunch of imagined slights will motivate the shit out of her to do these things. You are going to have to be very careful and calm for a long time while she tries to bait you into doing something stupid to gain advantage, probably mostly by doing the shit Picasso mentioned. You need to be out in front and on top of this shit at all times, because no matter how fucking crazy she has been the entire system is stacked in her favor, plus she has every incentive to milk the whole "he was the crazy abusive one" narrative to sustain her slug at home shut in cat lady lifestyle. In fact, I would bet she is playing that card at work to wrangle more time away sympathy already.
Short version, remain vigilant. Stuff is going to suck for a while, but if you keep shit under control for a couple years you are going to come out on the other side a lot better, as others have said. And also, don't stick your dick in any crazy while this is being sorted out.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Tarrant, one thing I agree with Phazael on is that you're going to be better off divorced and on your own. I know it makes things harder in the short term. But you only get one life, and your years are limited. There is no reason to spend them with a miserable person. She will be miserable with or without you. Protect yourself, protect your kids, and try to make a happy like for yourself either alone or with another. You did not fuck this up, at least not from what we have been told. So keep your chin up buddy.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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I know, I told myself a while ago that if I had to choose being miserable by myself or miserable and staying there...I'd rather just be by myself.
I still care for her, I mean I think you always care for the mother of your kids...maybe I'm weird, I dunno. However I'm fully aware of what needs to happen and regardless of how hard that is, it's still needs to happen...and is currently happening.
I speak with who will hopefully be our mediator tonight. I'm not looking to take much really, but I -AM- looking to use what we do have together as bargaining chips to get what I want. We'll see how that goes.
I still care for her, I mean I think you always care for the mother of your kids...maybe I'm weird, I dunno. However I'm fully aware of what needs to happen and regardless of how hard that is, it's still needs to happen...and is currently happening.
I speak with who will hopefully be our mediator tonight. I'm not looking to take much really, but I -AM- looking to use what we do have together as bargaining chips to get what I want. We'll see how that goes.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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The soon to be ex-wife attempting to demonize you to your kids is about as common as the wife being revved up by her girlfriends in order to paint you as a shitbag that deserves to have every last dollar leeched from your pocket. It's fucking evil and prematurely teaches kids that their parents are shitbags way before they come to this conclusion on their own later in life. Kids *should* view their parents as infallible heros while young, and this strategy of venting anger at your husband via your kids tears that down way before it should naturally happen. Been there-- I was that kid on multiple occasions and it fucking sucks. She may even be successful in turning your kids against you (it worked on my sisters) but later in life when they can process things on their own they will fully remember that you were the mensch and their mother used her own children as a weapon.
All I can say is don't lose your cool, and don't reciprocate. If you do, you'll come out the bad guy in the eyes of the law and others. Like Phaz said, the game is rigged in her favor.
All I can say is don't lose your cool, and don't reciprocate. If you do, you'll come out the bad guy in the eyes of the law and others. Like Phaz said, the game is rigged in her favor.
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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Yeah, I've been through it before so I know the ropes on how the whole parental alienation thing can work.
I know ways to combat is and I always have very open communication with my kids so they know. My daughter asked once "Daddy, why did you always yell at mommy all the time when you were together?" She was only 2 when we broke up so she doesn't remember us even being together, she's 9 now, almost 10.
Before I could even speak up my son said "He didn't, he only yelled when he was being yelled at, and if mom hadn't cheated maybe there would have been less yelling"
He was 11 when he said that, I'll never forget it. I've never even talked to them about it, so he remembers on his own. I've never said anything negative about their mother and when my current wife would, I would always stop her, the kids don't need to hear that. I know in time things will straiten out, just gotta get there.
I know ways to combat is and I always have very open communication with my kids so they know. My daughter asked once "Daddy, why did you always yell at mommy all the time when you were together?" She was only 2 when we broke up so she doesn't remember us even being together, she's 9 now, almost 10.
Before I could even speak up my son said "He didn't, he only yelled when he was being yelled at, and if mom hadn't cheated maybe there would have been less yelling"
He was 11 when he said that, I'll never forget it. I've never even talked to them about it, so he remembers on his own. I've never said anything negative about their mother and when my current wife would, I would always stop her, the kids don't need to hear that. I know in time things will straiten out, just gotta get there.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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My mother pulled shit like that with us kids when my parents were getting divorced.
She told us the reason they were getting divorced was because he cheated on her (unproven allegations, as far as everything I've heard). She told us he did it because he hated our family and wanted something else. She also said he didn't want to pay her any money for her or us kids, even though we were living in the house and he was kicked out - also false, he was paying $600/week in child support before even being ordered to pay it.
She did a lot of underhanded and weird shit to try to make us hate our father, and for awhile it worked. Later on, as I started growing up, I realized that the dude was a solid man that really took care of us - even if he wasn't living with us anymore. She still to this day bad mouths him about that stuff, even though she's remarried and has a new house and shit.
Hopefully your kids are old enough to understand what's going on , and if not maybe they'll figure it out on their own someday soon.
Divorce is shitty for everyone, but some parents can make it incredibly difficult on kids.
Now that I'm in my 30's, I barely see my mother at all. I don't see my father as much as I should either, but at least he understands that I work a lot and am trying to raise a family.
She told us the reason they were getting divorced was because he cheated on her (unproven allegations, as far as everything I've heard). She told us he did it because he hated our family and wanted something else. She also said he didn't want to pay her any money for her or us kids, even though we were living in the house and he was kicked out - also false, he was paying $600/week in child support before even being ordered to pay it.
She did a lot of underhanded and weird shit to try to make us hate our father, and for awhile it worked. Later on, as I started growing up, I realized that the dude was a solid man that really took care of us - even if he wasn't living with us anymore. She still to this day bad mouths him about that stuff, even though she's remarried and has a new house and shit.
Hopefully your kids are old enough to understand what's going on , and if not maybe they'll figure it out on their own someday soon.
Divorce is shitty for everyone, but some parents can make it incredibly difficult on kids.
Now that I'm in my 30's, I barely see my mother at all. I don't see my father as much as I should either, but at least he understands that I work a lot and am trying to raise a family.
Namon
Blackwing Lair Raider
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This weekend we are shipping the kids off, and having 48 uninterrupted hours of alone time, and I can't be more excited. Reading everything that Tarrant is going through makes me really appreciate what I have. I have to believe that one day, when your son is able to fully process what has gone down, history will smile on you.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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^This.
Pretty much the sole reason I frequent this thread is to make me appreciate my wife more. I cannot even imagine how tough Tarrant has it right now. Then you have assholes like wormie who just trash everything because they want to stick their dick in the newer younger model, too. Best thread on the forum, imo.
Pretty much the sole reason I frequent this thread is to make me appreciate my wife more. I cannot even imagine how tough Tarrant has it right now. Then you have assholes like wormie who just trash everything because they want to stick their dick in the newer younger model, too. Best thread on the forum, imo.
Sloshed
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Well the shit hit the fan at my house yesterday. I get a call at work from the school nurse about how my son has fallen and broke his permanent front tooth in half. I ask if she called his mother and she said she couldn't get her to answer. I am swamped at work and don't really have to time to leave especially considering the wife was off yesterday and should be able to handle it.
Well I call and call and get no answer so I storm out of work mad as hell because I think the lazy bitch is asleep. I walk in the door and she is on the computer on fucking facebook and gives me some bullshit of how her phone is on the charger in the back of the house. Huge fight ensues about how she never answers the phone and always keeps it on silent since she is a nurse and too fucking stupid to flip it from silent to ring when she is not at work.
Well I snap and told her I wanted a divorce. I have been planning on leaving in a few months anyway and have been trying to get my ducks in a row before I break the news. She looks at me like I'm crazy and says ok without a shred of emotion. I have never laid a hand on a woman in my life but I never been so close to slapping the piss out of her right then and there. Obvious she has already checked out of the marriage.
Well I call and call and get no answer so I storm out of work mad as hell because I think the lazy bitch is asleep. I walk in the door and she is on the computer on fucking facebook and gives me some bullshit of how her phone is on the charger in the back of the house. Huge fight ensues about how she never answers the phone and always keeps it on silent since she is a nurse and too fucking stupid to flip it from silent to ring when she is not at work.
Well I snap and told her I wanted a divorce. I have been planning on leaving in a few months anyway and have been trying to get my ducks in a row before I break the news. She looks at me like I'm crazy and says ok without a shred of emotion. I have never laid a hand on a woman in my life but I never been so close to slapping the piss out of her right then and there. Obvious she has already checked out of the marriage.