Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Jesus, I was kind of feeling down on myself and life in general the last week or two, but then I spent a couple hours yesterday catching up on this thread, and holy shit did the late May posts set me straight. My life's fucking wonderful compared to some of the shit some of you bros have been going through.

Way to kick a dog while it's down Eomer.

Apologies, a few gifts, and getting the honey do list done before she got home and I'm in the clear.....until the next argument.

You should also go out and get some golf balls and a mason jar. Fill the jar with water, put the balls in. Put it on her nightstand as she's getting ready for bed.

It loses its symbolism if there's more than 2 though.

Khane_sl said:

Way to kick a dog while it's down Eomer.

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Schadenfreude is best freude.

Porn has been completely boring to me recently, this happen to anyone else? Time to turn it up to 11 and watch naked midgets eat black people's shit?

Usually I'll get on a Porn Star kick but I haven't found a good new porn star in years. I much rather have sex myself.

Got the wife her first ever vibrator,she has never used one and never masturbated. Very sheltered sexually. Gonna see how this goes. I went with a bullet based on her complete lack of all experience, didn't want to bring a power tool into the bedroom just yet.

I'm pretty jealous of women's sex toys honestly. She just kicks back and brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and she doesn't have to do shit except orgasm.

Tarrant layin down the hard truths.

Tarrant_sl said:

Anyone adult who says they've never masturbated is a damn liar. I can believe never using a sex toy but that's as far as it goes.

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You haven't met my wife that I'm aware of. She is very naive about this stuff.

Get her one of those massasging shower heads.

That's why they make those.

Picasso_sl said:

Porn has been completely boring to me recently, this happen to anyone else? Time to turn it up to 11 and watch naked midgets eat black people's shit?

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Yes. And yes.

I'm not really going to argue it too much. When my wife says she has never done it I believe her based on our sexual experiences. If she has and she's afraid to tell me then so be it.