Marriage and the Power of Divorce

If my wife cheated on me, I'd most likely kill them both.

Especially now that I know about the magic of lye.

Mrs. Gravy said:

Sooooooooo - thoughts on mistresses? Typically this is a no go - but I am seriously tempted to become one. What the fuck am I thinking. (I'm thinking I REALLY like a particular man with both my head and my heart....and he makes my panties wet when I just hug him - and he has a physiological response too).

Someone talk me off this ledge please...my empathy for the wife (who has been nothing but a cranky unhappy person towards me and honestly most people she even talks to) is waning. HELP MRS. GRAVY MAKE WISE DECISIONS!

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My thoughts may be biased, but they're fucking awesome.

As one of the few who have been in this situation, theres nothing inherently wrong with it. Adults can make adult choices. You actually have the easy half of this...you're not cheating on anyone, so your conscience can be clear. It's not your fault, nor for you to decide whether someone else cheats on their spouse or not. That's on them. Grown ups can make grown up decisions.

Now, as far as making intelligent grown up decisions go, you only need to keep yourself grounded in the situation. He's not going to leave his wife for you. If you're planning on him doing that, it's only going to end up in disappointment.

As long as you can keep your crazy from running away with the rest of you, it can work out just fine, you can have some fun times, and then go back to your life when it's over. I thoroughly enjoy the situation every time a new woman walks into my life, whether it lasts a month or a year. It's not going to be forever because it CAN'T be forever. One or both of you have previous commitments to other people, and you shouldn't expect someone to drop those for you. As long as you can keep that situation straight in your head, then go for it and have fun.

The troubles start when you start thinking in terms of traditional relationships. You're not going to meet his parents. You're probably not going to be sleeping over. You're not going to do errands, or go to holiday parties together, you're not going to move in and you're not going to grow old together. If you're okay with that, then go have fun. What are a few fucks between friends?

Like I said, you're in the easy half of this. He's got the hard part deciding whether or not to tell his wife about it and make an open relationship or just keep it under the rug. That's a different post, though.

Just don't let the crazy run away with you (friends are good for helping with this), and it's A-OK.

Noodleface said:

Update on my sister

Yesterday her boyfriend got up, drove to work, and totalled his car swerving out of the way of a cat in the road. That's the official story. Couple problems.. he doesn't work Sundays, he claimed he had one of those panicked moments where you wake up and are late for work and he just drove in. His car was brand new and the loan didn't fit into his plan for moving south (getting a new truck). She said she wasn't sure if it was actually totalled but hoped it was so that the car will be paid off.

I didn't want to be the guy to say it to her, but to me it almost sounded like insurance scam or whatever to get gap to pay off the loan.

Feel like I'm in crazy town.

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This seems far more relevant for the, "Siblings and the Power of Insurance Scams" thread.