- 75,771
- 150,452
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
- 28,326
- 43,170
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
- 1,696
- 2,173
Fully realized adult children...but still. I am resistant. I need to try and decide what harm I would cause (he would have responsibility too of course) and if I could live with the consequences. My life is short mantra is fucking with me on this one....but the likelihood I will listen to my head despite my heart's desire (and points further south) will win.
Sad Mrs. Gravy yet again.
- 2
Heallun
Lord Nagafen Raider
- 1,100
- 1,073
It's important to ask yourself if this is a lust or love decision. Quaint, I know, but if he's willing to cheat on his wife who he's built this life with then he's more than willing to cheat on you. Are you alright with sharing him? I dunno, it's such a foreign situation I probably shouldn't even weigh in but my dick operates on trust. I simply could not function in a relationship like that.
edit: And yeah as a widow that's a whole 'nother layer I cannot really fathom. Can you articulate why you like this one particular guy so much?
- 2
Oblio
Utah
- 11,302
- 24,251
Have you asked if you would his first Mistress? Maybe his wife knows her hubby needs a Mistress & maybe she okay with that because she has someone on the side too. Or maybe she is just okay with it? Sure the odds are against those scenarios but the world is made up of many different people with many different views. Do you know his wife? If yes, how well? Maybe she is into you as well & they want to share you?
Last edited:
Heallun
Lord Nagafen Raider
- 1,100
- 1,073
FWIW, I had kind of a strange second-hand experience with a very charismatic adulterer and I got to stay with his wife and kids and him for like a week-ish while truck driving training. ...yeah. I was in the second stage of my training with the company where you team with another more experienced driver and in the middle of my training he had to return home to open a barbecue business. He lived in SC and I lived in IN, so I just hung out there and helped him open it up. Anyway...
He enjoyed the company of several women around the country as a well paid owner/operator truck driver. Had a woman in every other state it seemed, it was kinda surreal. He had about 5 main road wives, though, that he actually helped them get their lives on track and provided emotional support while he was on the road. His wife knew about these other women and seemed to manage as long as he continued paying the bills back home while he was out. Absolutely the most charismatic man I've ever met in my life.
He enjoyed the company of several women around the country as a well paid owner/operator truck driver. Had a woman in every other state it seemed, it was kinda surreal. He had about 5 main road wives, though, that he actually helped them get their lives on track and provided emotional support while he was on the road. His wife knew about these other women and seemed to manage as long as he continued paying the bills back home while he was out. Absolutely the most charismatic man I've ever met in my life.
Dandain
Trakanon Raider
- 2,092
- 917
I think any arrangement as long as all the adults are in it eyes wide open and the children are non-existent or grown is fine. If there are any lies, then its just not going to end up in a good place no matter how delusional we might want to be. The foundation of a long term relationship is gonna end up in trouble, the marriage is gonna end up in trouble. These things can all be maturely ended, or rearranged. I'd rather be told my spouse didn't love me, or wanted to move on rather than being cheated on. Just respect all the persons involved, just because someone has some short term hurt, doesn't mean the path you want to chose won't yield a much worse set of pain for the parties involved down the road.
- 2
- 1
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
- 18,738
- 34,931
Her attitude toward you couldn't have anything to do with the fact that she realizes you want to fuck her husband, could it? Naaaahhh...Women are known for having shitty intuition...
- 1
Oblio
Utah
- 11,302
- 24,251
Oh wow, I missed the part about the wife being unpleasant. Abort Abort Abort, you might be more attracted to him than you would be normally because the whole forbidden fruit thing. Move on, there is someone out there for you that is unattached. The time/energy you are spending on the married guy is just slowing you down from meeting the next Mr Gravy.
- 2
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
- 1,696
- 2,173
No, her attitude towards me is the same attitude she gives all of his friends....male or female. She seems to be a very unhappy person, and his friends who have known her well for 25 years, say this is who she is.
Yes, I asked him pointedly about other trysts...he's had opportunities but did not act on them.
He is by far not the only married man who has suddenly felt that they have something to offer me. I am apparently the merry widow.
I self-evaluate constantly. Does a brief moment of elation outweigh the inevitable pain of rejection. What are the aspects that make this particular case seem so different...is it his characteristics or has my widow journey thus far brought me to a changed set of standards.
There are no questions you can pose that I have not already considered. My biggest hurdle has been in deciding if I can live with the answers.
It is highly likely that I could. It is also likely I will not be a mistress. I believe that I have more value than that, and should not allow short term desire to overshadow that.
If in the future he is not married and I am not in a relationship...then it will be on.
P.S. Thank you, FoH conscience.♡♡
Yes, I asked him pointedly about other trysts...he's had opportunities but did not act on them.
He is by far not the only married man who has suddenly felt that they have something to offer me. I am apparently the merry widow.
I self-evaluate constantly. Does a brief moment of elation outweigh the inevitable pain of rejection. What are the aspects that make this particular case seem so different...is it his characteristics or has my widow journey thus far brought me to a changed set of standards.
There are no questions you can pose that I have not already considered. My biggest hurdle has been in deciding if I can live with the answers.
It is highly likely that I could. It is also likely I will not be a mistress. I believe that I have more value than that, and should not allow short term desire to overshadow that.
If in the future he is not married and I am not in a relationship...then it will be on.
P.S. Thank you, FoH conscience.♡♡
- 4
- 1
- 41,454
- 177,728
Mrs. G, I respect and like you, just as I liked and respected your husband. Ask yourself this: how would you feel if Gravy had a side piece and you found out?
And then ask yourself this: do you want to be that woman?
Finally, if he's willing to cheat on his wife, he's willing to cheat. Whatever your arrangement ends up being, he's a cheater. Once a cheater, always a cheater. And if you don't see this becoming a long-term and permanent thing, it isn't worth it. Sex isn't worth it. Start a go fund me campaign, and I'm sure FOH folks will step up and by you a sybian. And that will make for better orgasms almost certainly.
And then ask yourself this: do you want to be that woman?
Finally, if he's willing to cheat on his wife, he's willing to cheat. Whatever your arrangement ends up being, he's a cheater. Once a cheater, always a cheater. And if you don't see this becoming a long-term and permanent thing, it isn't worth it. Sex isn't worth it. Start a go fund me campaign, and I'm sure FOH folks will step up and by you a sybian. And that will make for better orgasms almost certainly.
- 1
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
- 1,696
- 2,173
I have thought about that - the what if I were the wife question; without sullying a G memory; he pursued an intimate experience during our marriage. We looked at that and figured out what each of us had done to contribute to that situation. Was I hurt, yes, did I share culpability, absolutely. It is not black and white...and there were no additional excursions.
That being said, yeah, my decision was mostly made to politely decline before I even posed the question here. I was just needing some shoring up because my hormones are flipping raging. (I will, however use the thought of what I would have done to him for some self pleasure.)
Oh and
lurkingdirk
, I like you (and your wife if this is her instead of you) too.
That being said, yeah, my decision was mostly made to politely decline before I even posed the question here. I was just needing some shoring up because my hormones are flipping raging. (I will, however use the thought of what I would have done to him for some self pleasure.)
Oh and
lurkingdirk
, I like you (and your wife if this is her instead of you) too.- 3
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
- 21,725
- 39,569
If he gets you nice presents what are the negatives here? Give him a test ride to see if the sex is worth it and go from there?
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 37,961
- 14,508
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
- 14,159
- 30,343
I have thought about that - the what if I were the wife question; without sullying a G memory; he pursued an intimate experience during our marriage. We looked at that and figured out what each of us had done to contribute to that situation. Was I hurt, yes, did I share culpability, absolutely. It is not black and white...and there were no additional excursions.
That being said, yeah, my decision was mostly made to politely decline before I even posed the question here. I was just needing some shoring up because my hormones are flipping raging. (I will, however use the thought of what I would have done to him for some self pleasure.)
Oh and
How would you feel in the other woman's place? That's the only question to ask yourself. Well that and if he would ditch one commitment for a better deal there is zero reason he won't again, so you may actually BE that other woman down the road.
Edit- lurkingdirk beat me to it.
- 1
The one thing I have to say about it is this.
If my wife cheats on me then I am mad at her. I don't blame the guy. She made the final decision for herself. I won't be friends with him or like him but I blame her.
I don't suggest you do it. If you do then don't expect him to leave for you. If he does, don't expect him to stay faithful to you.
If my wife cheats on me then I am mad at her. I don't blame the guy. She made the final decision for herself. I won't be friends with him or like him but I blame her.
I don't suggest you do it. If you do then don't expect him to leave for you. If he does, don't expect him to stay faithful to you.
- 6
- 1