Sorry for the long post, I just want to get this out in words right now. I understand if tl;dr...
My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married for 6 of them. We have 2 children, 9 and 5 years old. We have been through a lot, especially since we got together at young ages 16 and 18... At the time she was talking to a guy in Florida, long distance thing. She broke it off with him eventually, and we got an apartment together.
She was working at gamestop. She started cheating on me with a guy she worked with, she was talking to him all the time and shit she thought she was in love with him or was, I don't know he was very manipulative.. It was a really fucked up time.. We got through all that.
Fast forward from there, we have our daughter, and she is 5 I think. I cant remember the exact time right now. She starts talking to this guy and works at a store near hers in the mall, she works at a different place at this point. Things are getting weird, and shes going out a lot with her girlfriends she says. One night she comes in and falls asleep. I hear her phone go off, and I wake up and grab it. I see a text from that guy saying something along the lines of I cant wait to see you again and you can ride me again or some shit. I didn't feel like starting shit right then so I slept on the couch with her phone. She woke up and freaked out. I stormed out to the mall to go confront this guy, he wasn't working and that was a good thing. I would have went to jail for sure. I was seeing red.
I was calling it done, I stayed at a friends house that night. I was saying that its over and this is it. We ended up talking and going to a marriage counselor and working through it all. She swore it would be better. It was better, things were really great.
Fast forward to now, we bought a house 5 years ago. Everything has been good. She started working as a server/bartender as we needed some extra income. Shes worked there about a year. Theres this guy that's there all the time. He tries to sleep with anyone there. He has slept with a few of the girls that work there. Hes there with his friends, a lot. So when my wife gets done with work she would sit there and hang out with some of her co workers and he would be around them all. So you know, hes just a friend, blah blah blah... Things have been going well, I don't have much reason to suspect anything yet.
She stopped taking her birth control a couple months ago, as it was making her tired and lethargic all the time, shes tried different brands etc.. So after she stopped this threw her hormones all out of whack, she also takes prozac for anxiety she has. That was a really good thing when she started taking prozac it helped a ton.
Something had seemed off the past couple weeks for sure. I get a text last Saturday from her friend she works with boyfriend, we hang out as a couple a lot. Hes like did she make it home okay? I was asleep, I woke up and saw it, she wasn't home. I texted her, called her, no answer. She messages me back and said shes talking to her friend, the friend of the boyfriend who texted me and asked if she had gotten home... So I'm like why did he text me that? Shes like I dont know were outside the apartment talking though. She got home and says that she got a message from the dude she cheated on me with from gamestop... She said it freaked her out and she blocked him and deleted the message and went to talk to her friend about it..
So just this past Saturday I have a few friends over, were all playing on our computers and shit. Shes working, and is going to go hang out with some people after work since im hanging with my friends. No big deal... I message her at 11:34pm and ask her how works goin, no response. I message her at 12:51am. Nothing. Again at 2:16am, im like where are you? Why arnt you responding? I try calling no answer. I message her again why are you not picking your phone up? No answer... So I call my friend, he was up where she was. Hes like she should have been home by now, thats weird.. Hes like oh and also she brought some dude up here(the one guy "friend" thats at her work all the time) hes like do you know that guy like that? Im like fuck no I dont, what the fuck! Im like ultra pissed now... So I jump in my truck and head to her work to see if she had maybe stopped back by there. I see her turn in front of me, I see that guy in the car. I did a u turn and followed them into his apartment, its the same complex that her friend and her boyfriend live in the one that texted me the one night. I message him and im like does that dude live in your complex? Hes like yeah, why??
He says you need to call me right now bro!... I see the car and drive past and get a glance in, nothings going on... I contemplate getting out and going up to the vehicle... I end up cutting my head lights off and rolling up near them, I see them hug, he gets out and goes in. She goes to leave... I call her. I say where are you?? Shes like im almost home. I say no where are you right now? She says im leaving taco bell I was hungry. Im like you want to try again? shes like what are you talking about? I say why are you lying? she denies... She finally says I just dropped Erick off, and I say yeah no shit. I know. Shes says can we talk about it when I get home im almost there. I say yeah I know you are, so am I.. Shes confused because she thinks im at home...
Her friends boyfriend is calling me while im talking to her, I switch over when I hang up and hes like dude wtf is going on? I tell him everything, hes like man I have some shit im gonna tell you that's gonna really piss you off, im sorry man.. Im like just tell me... Hes like last Saturday we were all hanging out (at her work) and her and that one guy were acting weird. She left then a little while later he disappeared, we all thought it was shady so we went over to his apartment and we know what one it is. We walked in and my gf walked straight into the bedroom and they were in there naked.
He also brings up the fact that shes told his gf that shes been talking to the guy from gamestop and says she thinks she may be in love with him still and doesn't know what to do that she loves me though and all this shit.. Im like wtf.. I get home we talk and argue till 6am she says it was a huge mistake and that she was very drunk and doesn't remember even going back to hs place she said she told him that night it can never happen again and that it was a mistake, she said he didn't feel the same way and they were arguing over it for a while in the car that's why she took so long to get home., I threw my ring at her, she asking me what im gonna do if im going to leave her... I said I don't know what im going to do right now. She says the dude from gamestop showed up to her work and when they were leaving he put his hand around her throat and said that if he sees her again hes going to rape her, and she said she almost passed out. She said if they were in a more secluded place he would had tried... She says that's when she blocked him on facebook and shit..
So here I am right now. I feel like complete shit. Im sitting at work, feeling like shit. Shes at home, she got the kids off to school and doesn't work today, she called in yesterday...
I still do not know what to do. We have our children, a mortgage, 2 vehicles, one leased all in my name, and a dog we both love. Its not so easy to just leave in this situation... I guess i'm a retard because I still care about her, I think I still love her.... I'm just still in devastation mode.... I think I want to at the very least separate for a while, but she has no where to go and I don't really either.. I cant afford an apartment with the mortgage and the bills I have now... Im really lost and hurting right now =(