Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Big Phoenix said:

Shes 25, im 30.

Click to expand...

Fuck, you're old.

I kid. I'm 14 years your senior.

I'm sorry for this situation, man. I think it's a good tell that when you were separated by distance her priorities shifted. That should be an indication of what would happen in difficult times during marriage (or whatever arrangement you were heading into). Through thick or thin, or GTFO.

I'm sure it hurts, and you're feeling a bit crap about all of it. Have your closest friends over and tell them about this and watch their reaction. I'm willing to bet you'll feel better about things after that.

lurkingdirk said:

Have your closest friends over and tell them about this and watch their reaction. I'm willing to bet you'll feel better about things after that.

Click to expand...

A video of that conversation:

The only thing you're missing out on is a steady supply of pussy.

Sorry it happened man, and I know you wanted it to be more, but that's all she was.

There are woken who are more than that.

That's basically how women think.

The problem is that you didn't love her enough.

It could have been so much worse. You could have married this chick. Instead of 5 years, she could have done it for 20.

Obviously it could have been a whole lot better, too.

Drown your sorrow in some tinder sluts.

Sorry to hear phx.

I think 30 is a prime age for single dudes though whereas women have procreation panic, 25-50 is a viable relationship age range and older women seem to drift towards the rationality you're after.

Big Phoenix said:

I dont think there will ever be an I miss or I wish things could have worked out. All I really feel right now is anger and rage at being betrayed. It feels like she purposely threw away half a decade of my life and for what? So she can enjoy the attention of a bunch of dumbass 19-20 year olds for a few months?

It just makes no sense. Shes going to come home single and have no job, will be living with her parents at 25, no prospects for the future and have a commitment that is a major turnoff for anyone wanting a relationship. But its whatever, Im sure after a few weeks she'll tire of dudes only talking to her so they can try and bang her in five minutes and start wondering if she really should have blown me off all those times she did. I just wish I could enjoy the feeling of regret she will get when that happens.

Click to expand...

Meh, I'm sure the majority of those 5 1/2 years had plenty of good times that don't magically disappear. The biggest mistake is trying to fix it at this point, especially with the laissez faire attitude. No kids involved. Never going to understand the brain of a 25 year old female. You were with her basically at the start of her adulthood, she probably has regrets for missed opportunities.

My wife now was my first lay. She just hit all those invisible checkmarks; beauty, good job, ambition, and most importantly loyalty. It did not make sense to end it when I moved out of country and it evolved into marriage.
I ran through some regret periods when I spent 18 months away and had some really attractive women interested in the "american foreigner". I really had to limit my 1 on 1 exposure of the opposite sex outside work and ultimately near the end of the long distance thing I stopped being around women all together. I imagine its like this for _any_ semi-attractive female where supply is low, demand is high. "Let loose" is code word for I want to go party. It isn't a carte blanche to fuck a bunch of dudes, but it is definitely adopting an attitude that "I'm going to spend more time in an environment where I am liking to be tempted and I don't care"

Honestly after a short while this will probably feel pretty liberating.

To add some perspective.

Lifelong friend is going through this same thing with his wife. They're both active duty and she is doing a lot of the same shit you've described. They been trying to repair it for probably the last 24 months and it just is a repeat cycle of the wife being a non-loyal whore sitting on the fence of dicks using muh feelings as justification to being a shitty person.

Same thing though, no kids. Hard to impress upon non-parents how much of a difference that makes w/ relationship problems.

Humans are weird.

Big Phoenix said:

I dont think there will ever be an I miss or I wish things could have worked out. All I really feel right now is anger and rage at being betrayed. It feels like she purposely threw away half a decade of my life and for what? So she can enjoy the attention of a bunch of dumbass 19-20 year olds for a few months?

It just makes no sense. Shes going to come home single and have no job, will be living with her parents at 25, no prospects for the future and have a commitment that is a major turnoff for anyone wanting a relationship. But its whatever, Im sure after a few weeks she'll tire of dudes only talking to her so they can try and bang her in five minutes and start wondering if she really should have blown me off all those times she did. I just wish I could enjoy the feeling of regret she will get when that happens.

Click to expand...

Just make sure you go out on a few dates or something before she gets back in town so you aren't tempted if/when she comes crawling back when she realizes this.

Best way to forget about someone is to find someone else.

Tarrant said:

Sorry that happened Big P. I know it doesn't help much to hear/read it, but shit gets better man. Hang in there.

Click to expand...

Just gotta ask yourself WWWD (What Would @wormie Do)? And do anything other than that.

God I wish Tinder was around when I was 30. I had my shit together, was reasonably attractive, and wasn't scared of women. Curse You EVERQUEST!

Now I am 47, had 2 heart attacks and living in Mom's basement half crippled by bad choices and genetics. And Tinder is right there mocking me.

I wish I had a fucking time machine.

I'm back in the game boys. Back in it.

Pulled down her pants while she was trying to make tea and did the deed right there. Pretty sure at a good angle people could see my bare ass